Some Gift From Heaven
by Malkmusian
Summary: I'm editing some parts, people, so it can be easier to read...it's still the same premise.
1. Her Birth and her 4th christmas

"Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Story of Aelita Hopper"

By

That Guy In Everclear

**Overture:**

This story may shock you. It alters the 3rd season of Code: Lyoko and the prequel altogether. It's supposed to be the life of the main character, Aelita Hopper, but with the reason why she hasn't any memory about her dad (in the show, it was his shutting down of Lyoko that caused her memory to disappear), what happened to her mom (she probably died of cancer in the show), and many other weird things of how the second season came into effect.

This was meant to be a replacement for "The History of the Pop-Rock Progressives" during the time I had no computer (February 15-June 9, 2006). I wrote it on paper during March-May, until I had a serious case of writer's block. When I came back home from camp, I saw my computer and quickly finished the story into a transition into the story that it was supposed to replace.

The story is like that Adam Sandler movie "Click", with 2/3 of the story being pure humor while 1/3 of it is a serious drama and action/adventure. I was sad during the writing of the story for various reasons, but I always ended the sadness with a happy part.

**Chapter 1:** **The Making Of…**

The man turned on the TV and saw a Star Wars movie. He quickly changed the channel to a commercial.

His wife, Lani, said, "Franz, why are you watching your stupid commercial? In any second, I could be in labor."

Franz then replied to her, "Lani, you're not going to be in labor in a second. Just let me watch my commercial for my company."

Lani adjusted herself to the bed and removed her red sneakers and socks, relaxing her feet to the sounds of "Safe as Milk" on her Walkman. The commercial then came on…

(TV's point of view)

There was a bright flash of lights, then it pulled back to show Franz in front of his company building.

The announcer, in a voice similar to James Earl Jones, said to the viewers, "HOPPER COMPUTERS!!! It can change the 20th century! We sell Apple computers, IBM PCjrs, Tandy Trash 80s, and Coleco Adams! We also sell the hottest games ever made!"

The screen cut to a PC version of Pong and the announcer continued saying, "We also have a project named Project Carthage, coming out in 1992, that we don't know what in the hell it is meant to be! Hopper Computers…"

Franz then said, "…The Future is on us!"

(Now back to our regularly scheduled program)

Franz couldn't believe it. Lani, after 9 months of pregnancy, was in labor in his bed. He got up, put on his clothes, put her footwear on, and took his wife into the Ford Pinto that he drove to work at Hopper Computers. He ignited it and drove it to the hospital in Gatlinburg. There, he got her out and wheeled her to the emergency room, where doctors put her in a maternity gown and wheeled her towards the maternity ward. In there, she was in constant pain, bleeding from her blistered fingers that she got by drumming the Beatles song "Helter Skelter" a total of 55 times. Also, her water broke.

Suddenly, the baby's head popped out and the doctors told her to take deep breaths.

She didn't listen, but Franz said to her, "DEEP BREATHS, LANI! DEEP BREATHS!!"

She did what Franz told her to do and the baby came out like a greased out Cadillac stuck in a doghouse. The doctor grabbed it and cleaned it off of its blood and amniotic fluid.

He handed it to Lani and Franz and said, "The baby is a girl, as you can see by the vagina."

They hadn't seen anything as beautiful as this before, especially in a child that turns out to be a girl.

Franz said, "You're so beautiful. I'm gonna name you Aelita Melanie Hopper." The wife agrees with the name.

Of course, Aelita had her baby days, but since those are boring, we'll just skip to her Pre-K days.

(In 1986)

Aelita Hopper came inside and slips off her boots. She took off her jacket and hat and starts up the family's record player. She then put in the vinyl for "2112" by Rush and started to draw what Geddy Lee looks like, even though she's 4. Not all 4-year-olds listen to Rush on a daily basis. It's supposed to be inappropriate to her age.

Her dad saw her and said, "You put in my favorite band's vinyl! How nice of you! Go to your room! That stuff is inappropriate for you, especially for a 4-year-old like you, Aelita Melanie Hopper!"

She then sulked to her room and waited for her mom to say, "Dinner!" She went downstairs and saw that they have a ham on the table and heard all of the Mannheim Steamroller music playing in the background.

She said, "I know it's December 24th, Mommy. Don't call me naïve, but I don't know why Daddy scolded me for listening to his extensive Rush catalogue, which in fact, are only 7 or 8 albums in there."

Lani replied to her, "Even though he is a hardcore fan of them, your daddy doesn't want you to listen to Rush. You see, he had to spend the night with Alex, the guitarist for that band. I'm glad because I got to spend the night with Geddy and Neil. I remember hurting Neil at that party with a pillow. He instantly broke his arm or something like that. Why does he look like a tough man?"

Franz interrupted by saying, "Don't talk about that night to Aelita, Lani! She's not supposed to learn about that band until she's a preteen! Why did she have to listen to my '2112'? Aelita, go to your room! We are going to have an adult conversation here! That means no damn little kids that may tell everything to their damn and naïve friends!"

Aelita replied, "Daddy, I have no friends! You told me not to make any because you want me to be the next Virginia Woolf! See, you are a very bad dad!" and then went to her room, crying out a river.

Graham, her brother, sat down at the table. He's 6 years older then her and wore a bunch of green shirts. His hair is jet black, but his eyebrows are brown.

He said, "Dad, can I listen to your 'Moving Pictures'?"

Franz replied, "Sure, Graham. You're 10, not 4, like you damn defiant sister, Aelita."

Graham said to his dad, "Dad, don't call Aelita useless. She may save the world one day from a teenager gone badly or your new project. Shall I tell Mom about it?"

He replied, "No! She's can't know!"

Graham walked off to the living room. He then started up the record player and put it on the Cheap Trick "Dream Police" vinyl.

Lani left the room, saying to Franz, "Now, to let me get rid of my anger, I'll go listen to 'Safe As Milk' on my Walkman."

Later that night, Aelita was sleeping in her bed until her dad came into the room. He took the bed sheets off of her.

She woke up and said to him, "Why'd you put the bed sheets off of me, Daddy?" He got angry and said to her, "To do this!"

She then pulled the sheets back onto her and Franz looked at her sleeping. He goes to the basement and launches the Project Carthage feelings program. He puts on a Power Glove-like thing and runs to Aelita's room. He then took the bed sheets off of her and puts his hand on her right foot, covered in a blue sock. He then took off her sock and started to massage the bare foot. Why he's doing that is because he's trying to improve his feelings program on Project Carthage.

In Lani's room, she hears her daughter's laughter and looks to the side of the bed. Franz is missing. She goes downstairs to Aelita's room, where she sees him tickling her daughter's foot.

She asks him, "What in the world are you doing to my gift from heaven?"

He replied, "She needs some comfort. She had a rough day at Pre-K today."

Lani gets steaming mad and said to her husband, "She's going to get dependent on your tickling. She thinks you're going to tickle her every freakin' night when she's sleeping and get used to it. She's going to expect this…this…THING in her sleep, so STOP IT NOW!!!"

Little did they know, their 10-year-old son Graham was videotaping the whole incident on Beta Tape and was shocked at the footage. He kept silent the whole time.

It's morning on Christmas Day. Aelita wakes up from her avant-garde dream and gets up from her bed. Suddenly, she saw a sock on her floor and puts it on the foot that her dad somewhat tickled, as it was bare and she didn't like to walk around in bare feet (at the time, though). She then runs downstairs to the living room, where a crapload of presents are under the Christmas tree, and jumps from the balcony to the floor in a matter of death-defying seconds that would even scare the living daylights out of Evel Kinevel, Captain Beefheart, and John Lennon. She then sees her brother, her mom, and her dad opening presents and gets into the fun of doing it. Graham got a new stereo system (I don't see how a 10-year-old would want one), Lani got a new TV with a cable box included (so Franz wouldn't flip the channels to find his commercials), Franz got more floppies for Project Carthage (because…it's big), and Aelita got a Nintendo Entertainment System.

She then thanked for the gift and thought in her head, _"What the? I don't really like the concept of playing video games, much less buying them and seeing the footage from them. It's just a waste of time and can kill your brain. I'd rather listen to music and draw pictures of their lead singers any day."_

She put up the game system and saw more presents for her. She opened them to get The Beatles' "White Album", Herb Alpert's Tijuana Brass' "Whipped Cream & Other Delights", a stereo system, a sketch pad, NES games, a TV, and more clothes. She was happy for the presents. Graham got some more, but there was one last present for him. He opened it to find an elf doll. He dislikes it, so he gives it to Aelita, who's sitting next to her dad talking about her dream.

Graham interrupts the conversation by saying to Aelita, "Here you go" and giving her the doll.

She thanks him and proudly hugs the doll.

She said to her dad, "Well, Daddy? What should I name it?"

He ponders for a while and thinks of the word "Puck", which means goblin in Swedish.

He then replied, "Why not Mister Puck? It means goblin."

She replied, "I'll take that name. Thank you, Daddy! You're the best!"

She'd only think that for 3 more years, but when she got back to Pre-K in January, she was lonely. She'd usually play with Hot Wheels until she'd cry for her mom and dad. One day, she was playing with Hot Wheels until 2 boys came over. One had a shaved head and was dressed up like the Black Knight from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". The other one had brown hair all spiked up and was dressed up like King Arthur from the aforementioned movie.

The brown haired boy said to her, "What's your name?"

She replied, "I'm Aelita Melanie Hopper. What's your name?"

He steps out and said, "I'm Daniel Duncan. The Black Knight is my brother, Peter Duncan."

Dan sits next to her and said, "Do you wanna talk about anything?"

She said, "Well, on the day before Christmas, I had this avant-garde dream about some Romeo tickling me. When I woke up the next day, I saw that my right foot had no sock on it and I found a sock on the floor. What is wrong with me?"

Dan replied, "I think your dad may be doing something to you, Aelita."

Later on in the day, her dad and mom came to the Pre-K classroom she was in. Her mom comes in and walks to the teacher.

She said, "My daughter is finally making friends."

The teacher replied, "Mrs. Hopper, your daughter, formerly, she was playing with Hot Wheels and crying for you, but when she met Daniel and Peter, she's been making friends with them and socializing with them. She is finally not an outkast!"

Suddenly, 2 teenagers by the names of Andre Benjamin and "Big Boi" sue the teacher for the name, somehow. The teacher then repeats the sentence, with no "K".

Lani then goes to Aelita and said to her, "Aelita, I'm happy that you're making friends. Are you gonna have a sleepover with them?"

Aelita then replied, "Yes, Mommy. I am having them over one day."

That day came a year later, on the 28th, after Aelita's 6th birthday. Aelita was setting up the living room and put the TV near the couch. She then put Mel Brooks's films and Transformers VHS tapes on the table. The doorbell rings. She answers it to see Peter and Daniel. They were also 6 at the time and had the same identical hairstyle: bald.

Aelita said to them, "Hey, guys. How are you doing?"

Peter replied, "We're doing good, Aelita. Can we see what you're gonna watch?"

They walk inside. Aelita starts up the record player on the "1984" vinyl by Van Halen, putting the needle on "Panama".

Daniel listens to the song and said to Aelita, "You listen to 1980s mediocre hair metal? I listen to Anthrax!" He unzips his bookbag and grabs out an Anthrax vinyl. He turns off the "1984" record and puts in the Anthrax record. He puts the needle on "Madhouse", Anthrax's first single, and rocks out to it. Meanwhile, Peter is looking at the videotapes that Aelita has.

He said to her, "Doesn't your dad have better ones than these?"

Aelita replied, "No."

They walk to her room while Lani comes in and puts up Aelita's VHS tapes. She grabs out the tapes for "Cheech & Chong's Up In Smoke", "Nice Dreams", "Monty Python's The Life of Brian", "Monty Python and the Meaning of Life", "Blazing Saddles", "A Nightmare on Elm Street", and the 2 "Airplane!" movies. She watches them and forgets to put them up. This was a careless mistake, indeed.

Later that night, the 3 kids are in front of the TV, watching Saturday Night Live on NBC. They see some sketches, like the Coneheads, Wayne's World, and many others. After that, they put in a VHS tape and see the beginning credits for "Up In Smoke". Aelita stares at the screen while the boys watch the movie in amazement.

Soon, Aelita was laughing at it and realizing, "R-rated movies are the shiznit!"

Daniel looks at the screen when the big marijuana joint is being passed between Man and Pedro and said to Aelita, "Where in the hell did you get this?"

Aelita replied, "Don't ask me."


	2. Her birthday and Project Carthage

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper 

**By**

**That Guy In Everclear**

Chapter 2 

Here it goes!!!

Chapter 2 

**Disclaimer:**** The hurting of Neil Peart is meant to be a running gag, as with Tom being hurt by Jerry, Jeremy getting hurt by XANA, and Bart being choked by Homer. Sorry to the band Rush for that inconvenience, especially Neil Peart and Geddy Lee. I know Neil's strong and Geddy has a high vocal range, so don't sue me for some reason.**

In 1989, 3 years later, Aelita, Dan, and Peter were walking in Gatlinburg looking at all the sights. They had come out of the Ripley's Believe or Not Museum and looked at all the amazing oddities they had in there. They had walked past a TGI Friday's and they realized that they were hungry, so they went inside. They get a table and the waitress comes by.

She said to them, "Okay. What do you want?"

They get 3 Coca-Colas and a basket of hot wings, a specialty at that restaurant.

Suddenly, her brother Graham, fresh from his work at Der Weinerschnitzel, comes in the door and said to them, "Hey, Aelita and her friends! What are you doing here? Getting hot wings?"

Aelita, looking scared, replied, "Yes, Graham. I am."

Graham then replied in a happier tone, "Cool. Can I join? The meals are on me."

They take a while to make their agreement and then say, "Yes, Graham."

He then sits down next to Peter right at the time when the waitress came with their drinks. Graham then orders a root beer and a sirloin steak. After seeing what Graham did, Aelita orders a salmon platter and Dan orders some chicken fingers. Peter orders a Cherry Jell-O shot (non-alcoholic; Adam Sandler comes into mind here) and a burger. All order potato skins as the appetizer. After that, the waitress came with the appetizers and Graham's root beer.

The fellowship was spreading around the restaurant. Everybody is talking to each other. The table of the Hoppers and the Duncans are doing the same thing, but Graham is hiding something. He bought Aelita a vinyl of "Moving Pictures" by Rush, the band mentioned in Chapter 1. He was afraid that Franz would find out and throw away the record. Of course, Franz has gone a bit paranoid since 1986, but he still has his Rush records. At the same time, the actual band went inside the TGI Friday's and sat next to the Hoppers and the Duncans.

Geddy Lee then said to all of them, "Hello, eager fans of my music. How are you doing?"

The gang, looking freaked out, replied, "Good. How are you?"

Geddy hears this and said, "Swell, really swell that I'm in Gatlinburg with my friends and musical contributors."

He then looks at Aelita's Chuck Taylors (a fancy name for those Converse All-Stars shoes back when Sonic Youth and Nirvana wore them) and immediately goes into the bathroom. Geddy hits himself in the crotch with a hammer to practice his notes.

Aelita then said to Alex, "Why did Geddy Lee go into the bathroom, Alex Lifeson?"

He then replied, "He practices his high notes like that. Ain't that weird?"

She then said to Neil, "Do you really get hurt a lot, Neil Peart?"

He replied, "Yeah. I think so."

Aelita then throws one of her shoes at Neil and he starts bleeding from his nose.

He said, "I'm invincible!"

She replied, "You're a loony" and throws her other shoe at him.

He faints and Geddy comes back to the table to see Neil bleeding.

He yells, "AELITA, WHAT IN THE HELL DID YOU DO? DID YOU HURT NEIL?"

She, looking scared and almost crying, replied, "Yes, Mr. Lee."

He said to her in a calmer fashion, "That's the wrong way to hurt Neil. We punch him all the time."

Neil regains consciousness and gets punched in the stomach by Geddy and Alex. Dan and Peter join in.

Alex said to Graham, "C'mon! Join!"

Graham then joins in the hurting of Neil and then the waitress comes by.

She said to them, "Are you hurting Neil Peart?"

All reply, "Yeah."

She then said, "Let me join!" and starts kicking him.

After lunch, they board up in Rush's Winnebago and drive to the Hopper household. There, they come in and see no one.

Suddenly, her parents and the friends of Aelita come out from behind the couch and yell, "SURPRISE!!!"

It was Aelita's 7th birthday. She then celebrated the festivities with a birthday cake and some games involving the hurting of Neil Peart, including "Pin-the-tail-on-the-drummer-from-Rush", "Punch Neil", "Gouge Out The Eyes of King Peart", and "Throw The Drummer Into The Backyard". After the games, Neil wasn't really hurt, but had a bruise or two. Aelita then opened her presents, which included a Sega Genesis, the same Rush album aforementioned, a CD player, a Game Boy, a newer TV, and a video camera. Aelita was happy with all the gifts, and then the paintball game happened. You know the rules of paintball, but due to the gag within this story, they kept on shooting paintballs at Neil.

Later, he wasn't really hurt, but he had 2 more bruises. Meanwhile, Aelita was setting up the Sega Genesis to the TV until this note slides under her door. She reads:

_**Dear Aelita,**_

_**Meet us in Graham's room in 5 minutes.**_

She then puts up the note and goes to Graham's room.

She goes onto the couch right next to Neil and Dan and said to her brother, "Why am I here?"

He replied, "You're here because I want to change your life" and shows Aelita the videotape with her dad tickling her in her sleep.

He then takes it out and said, "Now stay tuned. I'm putting in the movie 'Tommy' for your convenience."

He puts in the Beta tape for "Tommy" and they watch it.

After 111 minutes (the real length of the film/musical) of mind-numbing musical numbers, including one with Ann-Margaret rolling around in chocolate, beans, and soap,

Aelita then walks to her dad's lab and said to him, "Why did you tickle me in my sleep and cause me to have that avant-garde dream?"

He replied, "To make a feelings program for Project Carthage. It's 2 programs in one: One blocks enemy communications while the other trains the Armed Forces. Wanna try the interactive program?"

She said, "Sure" and gets into a scanner.

Suddenly, she is put into a crappier version of Earth, but in this case, it's the beta of Lyoko. This laser hits her and she starts bleeding heavily. She gets hit again and gets devirtualized. She goes back on the floor of the lab, fainting of heavy blood loss…

She wakes up in the hospital with Rush, Graham, Dan, Peter, and her parents looking at her to see that she's okay.

She said, "Why am I here?"

Geddy replied, "You fainted big time, Aelita."

She said to Dan, "Am I here because of heavy blood loss?"

He replied, "Yeah. As they say, 'it's just a flesh wound.'"

Alex then gives Aelita a pink diary and said to her, "I forgot about this yesterday. Use it wisely."

The people then leave and Aelita grabs a pen. She then writes in that diary:

**May 25, 1989**

_**Dear Diary,**_

_**My name is Aelita Hopper. I'm 7 years old and live in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. I have a mom, Lani, a dad, Franz, and a brother, Graham. I also have a cat named "Buddy Holly" and Graham has a hamster named Chantilly Lace. Somehow, my dad always wants to name our pets after things related to the "Day the Music Died", when the Big Bopper, Buddy Holly, and Ritchie Valens died in a plane crash for some reason. My mother has a really bad allergy to dander, but that's another story. Anyways, yesterday, I turned 7 years old and got a bunch of things for my birthday. I also played games involving the hurting of Neil Peart of Rush. Afterwards, I watched some home videos and the movie "Tommy", starring Ann-Margaret and Roger Daltrey. I told my dad about him tickling me in my sleep and told me it was a feelings program. He then put me in this world and I ended up in the hospital for overbleeding and fainting big time.**_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**Aelita Hopper**_

Afterwards, she was sent home because she was feeling good and was doing great. She went back to normal and had some family fun, but that would all change…


	3. Her Mom's Funeral and Record Scrubbing

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper 

**By**

**That Guy In Everclear**

Chapter 3 

**Disclaimer:**** The lyrics to "P-9" belong to Dave Pirner of Soul Asylum and are almost copyrighted. Only Twin/Tone is no more.**

_**Dear Diary,**_

_**Today is going to be the best day ever! Today, I'm getting the new Nirvana album and a new CD player. I'm also going to Graham's band practice tonight! I hope nothing wrong happens within the day!!**_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**Aelita Hopper**_

Today wouldn't be a good day for Aelita, sadly, but more of that later. She then wakes up to the sound of her clock radio blaring "Jesus Christ Pose" by Soundgarden on Gatlinburg 99.7, the alternative rock station for Tennessee/Cherokee, NC. She then gets up, puts on a pair of jeans and a pink hoodie, puts on a pair of socks, and slips on her skate shoes. She also turned off the clock radio as to not wake up anybody. She then runs downstairs and grabs a Pop-Tart before heading to the Duncan household. Aelita bikes to the house.

Meanwhile, Franz and Lani are in bed, listening to Aelita bike to Peter's house.

Lani, who is connected to a heart monitor and IV with her hair about to fall out, said, "Franz, I've been living with cancer for so long, but I think it's time for me to go on."

At the same time, the radio turns on to "P-9" by Soul Asylum. Lani then starts singing to the song:

"_Somebody's thinking that the mind just did something wrong._

_Is this distinctive that thinking through the singing and the grooves has been casted off?_

_Nobody's bailing…nobody's saving 'cause they're watching you from shore._

_Nobody's working in the middle of this town._

_If we can see eye to eye, you see what exactly who it's for._

_Well, I do my job…I do it well and don't ever write on the wall._

_Baby, it's enough to overrun it if I can just get around you._

_I'm knocked down, my hands are empty, they're open, and I need something to do._

_And it makes me wonder whom I'm working for,_

'_Cause I think you know just what I'm looking for,_

_And it makes me wonder whom you're working for._

_How many children…how many children are waiting by your door?_

_Is this is just a job that I'm working for?_

_You gave me nothing…you gave me nothing, now you're taking it away._

_I should be walkin' and makin' it easy to ignore, but I guess I'd better stay._

_I forgave you and I forgave you for the people you've done wrong._

_Nobody's working, nobody's working and they have gone off far too long._

_And it makes me wonder whom you're working for,_

'_Cause I think you know just what I'm looking for,_

_And it makes me wonder whom I'm working for._

_How many children…how many children are waiting by your door?_

_Is this just a paycheck that I'm fighting for?"_

Lani then said to Franz, "I'm too sleepy. I feel like I can sleep forever."

Franz said, "Are you okay?"

She then replied, "I'M NOT OKAY, FRANZ!!! I'M ABOUT TO DIE!!! I WANT TO SAY I LOVE YOU!!! I LOVE GRAHAM!! I ESPECIALLY LOVE AELITA MELANIE HOPPER!!! HELP ME, FRANZ!!! I SEE THE LIGHT!!! IT'S GETTING BIGGER!!!"

She starts sleeping. Her eyes open up and her mouth opens up, gushing out blood. They don't move much more than that. Franz then feels her pulse. She has no pulse. Her hands are cold.

Franz yells in tears, holding back his sadness, "GRAHAM!!! COME HERE!!!"

Graham then comes downstairs and said to his dad, "Yes, Dad? What's with Mom?"

Franz then said, "Your mom passed away a minute ago."

Graham then tears up and said, "Mom's dead. We need to let Aelita know by herself or her day with Peter and Dan will be bad."

Meanwhile, Aelita is at Dan's house, seeing the members of the band Blur sleeping on the floor. She then walks by one and he wakes up.

He then said to her, "Don't wake up Damon Albarn from his sleep!!"

All the other members wake up from their dream of making a 2-minute college rock radio hit that would be played endlessly and get tired by the beginning of 1998. They weren't much cranky, but they yelled British curses at her.

Dan and Peter then come to them and say, "I know your tour bus broke down and you had to sleep her, but that does not mean that you have to yell British obscenities at Aelita! We have to shop with her today. Get up, put on your clothes. We're going to Waffle House."

Blur then put on their clothes and they get in the already-fixed tour bus to Waffle House. There, due to food poisoning, Damon, Alex, Dave, Dan, and Peter threw up. Only Graham Coxon and Aelita Hopper were not poisoned. From there, they went to Wal-Mart and got what she needed to get, along with the Pavement CD, "Slay Tracks 1933-1969".

When she got home, she saw Graham and Franz dressed in black, but she didn't care. She went into her mom's room and saw her corpse lying there. She then touched the hand. It was cold. She then ran out of the room, crying. Lani Hopper died that day at age 41 due to breast cancer.

At the funeral, all of the Hoppers looked at Lani through a glass case, but Aelita wanted to decline. Her father made her, so she went to the funeral. This is what she had to say:

"My mother was very fine woman. She helped me whenever things were bad, but I guess this was the time to go on for her. I guess God wanted her to die early. My daddy said she died for a reason. He said that she died of cancer, but…there's one thing I want to tell all of you: My father is a very mean man…I MISS HER!!!"

She then starts crying and the relatives hug her while Franz signs to her, "I am going to kill you one day, Aelita."

After the hugging, she walks outside, where he then pulls down her pants and spanks her very hard.

He yells to her, "You don't tell them about the real me! You don't tell them about the real me!"

Graham sees this and aims his Red Ryder BB gun at his dad's hand. He shoots it, making the BB hit Franz's hand and Graham to jolt backwards onto the pavement.

Franz walks to Graham, pushes him onto the pavement, and yells to him, "I promise you are going to get killed, Graham. I promise!!! You fing backstabber!!! You helped that traitor!!! Now, you are worthless! I curse you with Meg Griffin Syndrome!"

Graham lies on the pavement, bleeding from the arms and crying.

He said, "Dad, you are a sick psycho. I curse you that your stupid project will get evil."

**May 31, 1992**

_**Dear Diary,**_

_**Now's the time to say goodbye to Dan, Peter, and all of my friends living in Gatlinburg. Daddy said we have to move to France because of reasons he can't explain. For my friends, I still have them in my contacts list so I can call them. I don't know, however. He didn't let me call them for the past 6 months.**_

_**See you all,**_

_**Aelita Hopper**_

Why she is moving to France is because her father's equipment to work on Project Carthage's sister counterpart, LYOKO, was in a Renault factory. Also, he was wanted by the government for deleting their profitable project, Project Carthage. He destroyed it by inserting a virus named X.A.N.A in it and folding it into a database named Carthage. He actually had to transport X.A.N.A to France, but in the airport, the metal detectors exploded. They thought it was a malfunction.

Aelita and Graham ended up going to Kadics Junior High right near the Hermitage, a home near the school. There, Franz became a science teacher there and lied about his teaching career, saying that he teached for 10 years. Also, he became more paranoid. One day, when they were unpacking the boxes, Aelita accidentally grabbed a box of vinyl records and listened to some, along with his Herb Alpert. She then fainted when she saw the cover, the Killer Rabbit of album covers.

Her father saw her up there with the records. Graham followed him to the room.

He said, "Aelita accidentally took your box of vinyl records, Dad. She didn't mean to! In fact, some of those were hers!"

Franz replied angrily, "I know…but she's going to get the living hell beaten out of her damn butt when she wakes up! I am going to…" and then farts in front of Graham.

Graham tried to reason with him some more, but he ignored him, thinking Graham was an evil person.

Eventually, Aelita wakes up and her dad said, "You stole my LPs!!!"

She replied, "It was an accident!!"

He then picks her up and spanks her so hard that she was bleeding. She then feels woozy and her dad picks up "The Yes Album". He puts it on "Starship Trooper" and she starts crying in pain, as she had regained consciousness.

Later on, she woke up and saw Graham towering over her.

He said to her, "Well, sis. Do you wanna head to the theater?"

She replied, "Sure," and removed her socks.

She put on her pink flip-flops and went to the movies with Graham to watch Wayne's World, but when she got back, Franz had a field day with her. He grounded her for 2 years and grounded Graham a half of a day. She then got so angry that she actually tore 2 of her dad's favorite vinyls: "Hot Dogma" by TISM and "Whipped Cream and Other Delights" by Herb Alpert.

She yells out to the world, "MY DADDY IS A FRICKIN' LUNATIC!! HE BEATS MY ASS EVERY DAY AND I'M THE VICTIM!!! HE'S EVIL!!!" and Franz punches her in the face.

One day at night, her dad woke her up and said "Get up. You have to do a chore. Why? I want you to feel the pain of our ancestors, the Jews from Buchenwald!"

She replied, "What do I have to do now, Franz? Do I have to scrub your Beatles albums until they're scratchless? Well, I'm not doing it! Why do you treat me like this? I'm not related to the Jews!"

Her dad grabs her by the ear and drags her downstairs. He then hands her a sponge and some vinyl cleaner.

He said to her, "Scrub my Beatles albums or else you'll meet your maker!!! You're wrong to the answer you said, Aelita! We are Jewish now! Your mommy or my burden was a cold Christian! Why? I want to…"

She then gets to work and ignores Franz's many racial epithets.

The next morning, after Franz had his beauty sleep, he then went to the living room to see Aelita sleeping on the job, not done cleaning his "Rarities" copy, the final record she needed to clean. He then aims a paintball gun at her head and Graham then sees this. He picks up the phone and dials 15, the French version of 911.

He said to the operator, "My dad's going to kill my sister just because of an accident."

The operator replied, "We'll be there in a second."

Literally, a second later, the police come and one of the officers say to Franz, "Drop your gun!"

Franz replied, "Never! She disobeyed me!" and aims the paintball gun at the officer.

He said, "Jack Bauer! Come here! He's trying to kill me!"

At the school, Jack is dealing with a veteran of the school, Jim Morales, until he hears the call. He runs down to the Hermitage and sees Franz shooting paintballs at the officer.

He said to Franz, "Drop down your gun!"

Franz replied, "You taste my fist!" and the 2 men start fighting.

Aelita then wakes up and said to them, "You stop acting like babies right now! Now I need to punish you both!"

She then grabs 2 wires, both for the men, and said to them, "I got wires with your name all over it!"

She then cuts them and the men blast off into the woods.


	4. Lyoko and Dunbar

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 4 

Lyric down below belongs to Universal Music Group and the (former) members of the Refreshments, the best band from Arizona. (RIP 1992-1997)

So just how far down do you want to go? We could talk it out over a cup of Joe and you can look into my eyes like I was a supermodel…oh yeah.

_**-Roger Clyne, "Banditos"**_

Aelita was 12 years old. Her father had stopped treating her very badly ever since August, two years ago. Franz, due to his injuries, treated the kids nice and started to be nice to them. The day was June 6, 1994, the 50th day anniversary of D-Day, the day that Charles Schultz made his most famous Peanuts™ strip ever. Of course, it was the last day of school, even though it was on a Monday, so the students had to clear out their lockers. In class, however, some did final exams, but most listened to the band Rush's music, including Aelita. She was cleaning her locker to the sound of the whole "2112" rock opera, her favorite Rush song.

After school, she went inside the Hermitage, where she lived. Her father, of course, was in the factory setting advances back on Earth 7 years. He needed the time to make a world without danger, a place to hide from the government and all of Aelita's friends. It was named LYOKO for some reason. He wanted to name it "Xanadu", but Aelita said that was a Rush song from the album that has "Closer to the Heart" as its main single.

She went inside the kitchen, where Graham was taking out a pie from the oven. He then cuts a piece of it and eats it.

He said to Aelita, "Hey, little sister. How did it go there at Kadics? They let us out so we can go to our colleges. I somehow signed up for Emory University, which is in Atlanta, and they accepted me. I was looking for Oxford in England."

She then replied, "Sure, Graham. What's the pie for?"

He then said, "It's for my college roommate, but I decided not to give it to him. He's this guy named William Belpois. I knew him from middle school."

Aelita then walks up to her room and finds a note on her bed.

It said, "D-Day is coming. Be prepared. Don't even do your nails or dance to that loud ruckus you call 'Blur'. We're heading to Lyoko."

She didn't listen to it and then kicked off her shoes. She then took her socks off, got out pink nail polish, did her nails, and put on her favorite Blur vinyl. She put it on the pregap of "For Tomorrow" and started singing along to it. When she got to the end of the song, she then laid down on her bed and listen to the birds squawk, the children play, Graham accidentally cutting himself with a knife and stitching his thumb back on, Neil Peart walking, Neil Peart getting hit, but not killed, by a United States government-owned Winnebago, and the agents surrounding the house.

One of the agents yells, "We need Graham Chapman!!! We're taking him to that Peter Frampton concert!! We're his friends dressed up like agents trying to arrest Franz Hopper. What?"

He then turns on the stereo to play that Free song, "All Right Now", and Aelita puts on her clean pair of socks, as the other ones were all sweaty and all that bad stuff that can happen to your socks. She slips her black skate shoes on and runs downstairs. Graham and Franz are there.

Franz then said to them, "Follow me. We'll be safe where I'll take you all. We will be safe. It's a…world without danger."

Graham replied, "Dad, those are just the guys taking me to college. I told them to dress up like government agents so I can scare your pants off. However, you think that those are real agents, thanks to their Winnebago. Well, they are friends of Zell Miller in Georgia, so they got his government-owned Winnebago to drive here. He always puts it in France…you say you have a world without danger? That's logically impossible! Next, you're going to say that my sister lost her memories and that she has to be in the computer for 10 full years! I don't believe you!"

Franz replied, "Shut up, Graham. You're lying! You're going to Hell!"

They follow him to a hallway leading to his laboratory.

Aelita then asks him, "What is this place?"

Franz then said in a trembling manner, "We're in my lab. Now, let's get in the scanners before time runs out. We're heading to the world without danger. In fact, when getting virtualized, you cannot move a muscle, even talk or blink. It'll mess you up or make you have a costume that sucks!"

They run to the scanner room and go inside the scanners. They get virtualized into the virtual world and land on the floor of a forest.

Franz is like himself, but only with a wristwatch that has a materialization program in it. Graham is the 12-Foot Knight-Who-Leads-The-Knights-Who-Say-Ni! Aelita is in her most-recognizable outfit, mostly like her doll, but in pink, with no hat, and pink-matching shoes, as pink is her favorite color. They all walk to a mirror that appeared in the forest somehow and see them in it. They scream.

Graham then said to his dad, "Why am I like this? I didn't want to be like this! I wanted to be a purple cat, a samurai, or one of those TRON warriors, but I had to be this Monty Python character!! Please let me get captured by the government, if that's what you call my friends!"

Franz then presses the button on his wristwatch and Graham is materialized into the real world. The "government agents" see him and take him.

They say to him, "Hey, Graham. We're taking you to the college…where's the others?"

Graham replied, "You don't want to know, guys. You don't want to know."

They put him in a plane to Atlanta and take him to the college. He then is put on stage and sees all of the people he met in his lifetime throwing a party for him.

He then said to all of them, "Let's play the dunking booth!" and he runs, along with Neil Peart and Damon Albarn, to the dunking booth.

At the dunking booth, people are throwing balls at the target, yet they are missing it. Graham comes over there and hits the target. The dunkee, Geddy Lee, gets dunked and climbs out of the booth.

He said to Graham, "We also have those Ollie's Trolleys for all of us. They decided to cater."

Neil Peart gets into the dunking booth and Graham tries to hit the target. He ends up getting hit by the balls instead, thanks to Graham's very lousy throwing technique.

Meanwhile, in Lyoko, Aelita and Franz are walking about until she sees a red tower. She then goes inside it and walks to the middle. She then elevates to the top floor and sits down on it.

She said to herself, "I wonder where Graham is. He's maybe in jail or in an insane asylum. Asylum, like David Geffen's 1970s label for the Eagles, Jackson Browne, Joe Walsh, Glenn Frey, Jack Tempchin, and Don Henley. Oh, well. Whatever."

She then lays down on the floor and thinks of that day in her mind.

She then said, "Daddy, is deactivating a tower safe?" Franz then comes inside the tower and elevates to the top floor.

He then said, "Yes, sweetie, but this tower has some bugs in it. My friend XANA activated it himself. He's one nice guy, but he needs more energy to keep running, so if you deactivate this tower, you may lose your human memories and think that you are this artificial intelligence named Maya. You can deactivate his other towers."

She then said, "I don't believe you anymore, Daddy. I've listened to your lies and that's enough of them. I am going to deactivate it, even if it'll make my memories disappear" and presses her hand on the screen of the tower.

Suddenly, her memories flashed before her eyes as she was giving them to Franz. After that, she walks to her dad and yells an incoherent lyric from "P-9", the song that her mother sang before she died.

Franz said to her, "Do you know me, Aelita?" She then replied, "Who are you? Who am I? Am I Tommy Walker? Is that a name? What is Earth? What is Aelita Hopper?" and pushes him out of the tower.

She then grunts like Eric Idle (really, she speaks reversed lines from Eric Idle's many characters on his many movies and TV shows he's been on) and runs around the tower for some reason that we can't explain.

Franz then walks to a weird-looking eye and said to him, "So you still on for that game contest?"

The eye replied, "Okay, Franz. You know, we should continue your computer company and make more computer games. We can get rich!"

Franz replied to him, "Okay, XANA. We may do it, but we can go into Carthage and make our offices. You can make these monsters to be our workers! You're the man!"

XANA replied, "No, Franz. You're the man" and starts belting out "My Girl" by the Temptations, with Franz doing all of David Ruffin's vocals.

10 years later, Aelita then wakes up on the floor of a tower and sent a SOS to every computer in France, thinking that she was in some weird world. All of them deleted it, except for Jeremy Robert Belpois, a 7th grade student at Kadics. Odd Della Robbia, Ulrich Stern, and Yumi Ishiyama were torturing him, due to his bad taste in music. He was picked on so much that he was on Prozac™ and stayed up all night, listening to the music that he was made fun of about. It was comprised of Neil Young and Tom Petty. One day, he found the e-mail and saw her on the computer. He then began this secret love affair for her, thinking that she was Maya.

He loved her so much that he made friends with Odd, Ulrich, and Yumi, took their jokes, and let them be the warriors in Lyoko, if they can keep a secret. They soon found out that "Maya's" name was, in fact, Aelita. They did that for the next 26 episodes, protecting Aelita and him making a materialization program for her. He wanted her to be on Earth so they can marry and all that sick stuff. He finally succeeds in making one, but due to her having a "virus", they could only put her on Earth for 2 hours.

The week before she was to be enrolled in Episode 27, she was to spend her first day out of school and spend the next day in school so she can be enrolled. That day started out by materializing her, then taking her to Yumi's house, as it was a school holiday. In Yumi's room, Aelita was sitting on the bed in the clothes that she was in the episode, "False Start".

She said to Yumi, "Are we going to watch something on the cathode ray projector?"

Yumi replied, "It's 'TV', Aelita. Yes, we are going to watch something on TV."

She then turns on the TV to the 1984 Ron Howard hit film, "Splash!" where Darryl Hannah's character learns English thanks to Jerry Carroll.

During some of the parts, where Madison acts so naïve, Aelita said to Yumi, "I think I act like that."

Yumi replied, "She's a mermaid. You're an artificial intelligence program. Get used to it."

Aelita replied in a very stern voice, "Don't call me an AI, Yumi. Jeremy called me that when he saw me, but he named me Maya as a placeholder name until I found out I was Aelita. I think I was once human, but I don't really remember."

After the film, Aelita is walking with Yumi to King Arthur's Pizza Palace until she then sees the men making pizza inside. She then acts like Darryl Hannah and takes off her shoes and socks.

She said to Yumi, "Catch me, Forrest Gump!! I'm going to the ocean to do Stacy's dad and Judge Wapner!!!"

Yumi replied, "It's Allen Bauer, Aelita! The same guy, Tom Hanks, played Forrest Gump. Do you get the freakin' point? You better not walk on that pavement! You can't regenerate your health here!"

Aelita said to Yumi, "Yumi, I'm not naïve. I know Earth, thanks to Jeremy. I am invincible here! I am GOD!!!!"

She then walks onto the hot pavement and screams very badly.

Yumi runs to her and said, "Are you okay? You know, we don't copy Darryl Hannah here."

Aelita replied, "I KNOW!!! THE PAVEMENT'S BURNING THE SOLES OF MY FEET UP!!! PLEASE GET ME SOME ANTI-BLISTER CREAM!!! ALSO, GET ME ALOE VERA!!!"

She then tries to run into a French café, thinking that it is a tower, but is thrown out back onto the hot pavement.

She then said to Yumi, "I can't regenerate here. I'm gonna need a little more time on Lyoko to get used to Earth."

After that, Aelita is carried to Paul Doumer Memorial Hospital and is treated for her pavement burns.

The doctor said, "You can't put on the shoes and socks for a week, Aelita…what's your last name?"

Aelita replied, "Stones, Aelita Stones, as in the Rolling Stones, Mick Jagger's band. Can I please wear my shoes? My feet don't feel good…"

The doctor said to her, "No, Miss Stones. You already got burnt. You need to wear flip-flops, as they don't hurt that much on burnt…you get the point."

Aelita grumbles, "Asshole" to the doctor, puts on the sandals, and walks with Yumi to the pizza palace.

After lunch, both of their noses are bleeding, thanks to the "Knights of the Round Table" musical number.

Aelita then said to Yumi, "I'm never going to that pizza place ever again. That was way too violent. When the guy cut off that other guy's arms, I thought you allowed murder here."

Yumi replied, "Don't worry, Aelita. There are more restaurants in Bologune-Billancourt. There's the Vertigo Club, the KFC, the Taco Bell, the Uncle Moe's Family Feedbag, and a Pizza Hut. You can say that we're pretty Americanized in this quiet French town."

Aelita replied, "You are Americanized, except for your eating habits."

Yumi then said to Aelita, "What do you mean?"

Aelita then replied, "Why do you eat with pieces of wood? You're supposed to eat with stainless steel forks and spoons."

Yumi then gets a bit mad and said to Aelita, "That's a custom in Japan. Those pieces of wood are chopsticks. Hey, Aelita. Let's check out the pawn shop."

Aelita then replied, "Sure, Yumi. I always wanted to see what they sold in there since I got out of that wretched world."

They walk over to the pawnshop and see a copy of "Whipped Cream & Other Delights" for sale. They buy it and play it in Yumi's room. After the end of "Lollipops and Roses", they hear a whisper that became talking. Suddenly, the cover changed to a picture of a 14-year-old boy and a speech bubble formed over his head.

It said, "Help. I'm William and I'm stuck! Please free me from this place! If you do, I'll be your boyfriend!"

Yumi then said, "I already have one, but I'll free you. Hey, what's your last name?"

It replied, "Alpert. My dad was the trumpeter Herb Alpert" and the cover rises into the air.

Great balls of fire form around it and the boy lands onto the floor.

He said, "Thanks for freeing me from that LP cover, Miss Ishiyama and Miss Hopper."

Aelita was shocked.

She said, "Is my real last name Hopper or am I an AI?"

Yumi replied, "You're a citizen of Lyoko, Aelita. Do I have to remind you?"

William said, "Okay. That's enough of your crazy talk. What year is it?"

Yumi replied, "2005, William."  
He then yells, "It's 2005? I need to know everything that happened since then!!"

After learning everything, William donned on some new clothes and said to them, "Groovy."

Yumi then said to him, "We don't use 'groovy' anymore, but my mom and dad use it when they are in the bed doing something, like…whatever they do to have children. We use 'cool' nowadays."

William then replied, "Flippin' sweet! You use 'cool'! I did back in the '70s!"

They started listening to Jawbox's 1994 minor (or major, to Dischord Records fans) hit, "Savory". William covered his ears, yet he listened to it and liked it. He put in the Subsonics and danced to their song, "Genrique Fin".

Yumi then said to him, "So we won't be loonies, you're William Dunbar now."

William replied, "Flippin' sweet! Oh, wait. That was my real name…d'oh."


	5. After The Key

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 5 

**545454564545454545454545454545454545454545454545454545545454545454545454**

Aelita finally went to school and got a dorm, as Yumi's parents didn't want to keep up with her. During the school year, she started having all of these visions about an elf being chased by wolves, then as the year progressed, the elf turned into her as she found her old home, the Hermitage, and her old doll, Mister Puck. In the flashbacks, the wolves turned into government agents and chased her into the factory. Eventually, her flashbacks went away, but then came back at a swimming practice, in which she is knocked out cold and rescued by Jeremy. During those coming weeks, she would have sudden urges to listen to albums like "Safe As Milk", "2112", and "18", all considered crap to most of the Kadics students.

On the final week of school, she started to wonder if she was really a human, contradicting the statement the polymorphic Franz Hopper made at the factory. She then went into Lyoko to decode the diary, but she almost got all of it deleted, until Franz Hopper came into the rescue and decoded it a lot faster than ever before. Finally, Jeremy and the gang had to break the news to Aelita: She was the daughter of Franz Hopper. She then had these negative views of her dad, as she was having more repressed memories of her very bad treatment by her dad, and refused to go into Lyoko on the "Final Mission". She tried to commit suicide by shutting off the computer, but Jeremy found her just in time and saved her life, yet at the same time, scolding her for doing such a thing like that.

She then went on their "final mission". It was to go to Sector 5 and to retrieve her memories, but it turned out to be a trap and the Scyphozoa drained all of her life, making her dead. XANA then left the factory and wreaked some havoc in the world. Fortunately, her dad was there to save her, putting all of her memories back into her, also putting back in her life. She then rose back from death (she's not Jesus) and was materialized for the last time on Lyoko. The other times, she would be devirtualized.

Since it was the last day, they had a 2-month summer vacation and did all sorts of fun crap, but one moment was really special to them. On the day when she was made fully human, May 24, 2005, she spent the night at Yumi's house, talking about how she would have to deal with her life as of now, she was 100 human. One of those statements was that Aelita would have freedom of what she listened to, but at school, she may have to fit the crowd because not everybody popular likes albums like "Safe As Milk". After that talk, they both went, along with the gang, to King Arthur's Pizza Palace, with Aelita wearing something other than her hoodie, her jumper, and her boots. She slips on a pair of jeans and a blue shirt that said, "It's just a flesh wound" and having the Holy Grail cast on it. She also slips on a pair of flip-flops, as she hated those peppermint boots to death and wanted to show her pink nails to Jeremy. Also, she brought her iPod, which had techno and a lot of the albums she liked, including that Captain Beefheart album that I have named so much, "Trout Mask Replica", and "Lick My Decals Off, Baby".

The inside of the restaurant is based on the sets of the 1975 cult classic, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". There are workers dressed up as the Knights of the Round Table, a soda fountain modeled after the Black Knight's torso, a video arcade with all sorts of games, TVs playing the Monty Python selection, and the pizza, salad, and ice cream buffet being named "Sir Robin-the-Not-So-Brave-as-Sir-Lancelot's All-You-Can-Digest-As-Sir-Robin-Is-Afraid-Of-The-Word-"Eat" Pizza, Leafy Greens, and Sweet Iced Cream Buffet". The gang then pay for dinner and head to the buffet, where they have many pizza varieties such as "Confederate Taco", which is just nacho cheese, grits, Tabasco sauce, and taco beef on a pizza pie, "Sir Galahad's Salad-and-Pepperoni-As-That-Pizza-Is-Copyrighted-By-Papa-John's Pizza", which is mainly a Papa John's "The Works" pizza, except not stolen from Papa John's, and "So-Hot-That-Even-The-Knights-Who-Say-"Ni!"-Would-Be-Afraid-of-this-Pizza", a regular pepperoni pizza covered in jalapeños, Cayenne peppers, Tabasco, Texas Pete, Louisiana hot sauce, garlic, and white peppers. They ended up getting the original varieties. They weren't that adventurous that time of night, including Odd, who always eats new, weird things, and listens to Dadaist rock albums about ol' navy forks stickin' in the sunset. They had enough excitement for one day.

They sat next to the video arcade in a booth…so to get easy access to there. It was a rough ride. Aelita bit into the slice of pepperoni pizza and sipped her Dr Pepper. Suddenly, a worker dressed up as Arthur, King of the Britains sat next to them.

He then said to Yumi, "Hey, Yumi. How do you like my new job here?"

Yumi then replied to the worker, "William? Why'd you get a job here?"

William then said to her, "My dad said to get a job, so I did. Of course, my dad's in Gatlinburg. I live with my mom. Thanks for those parents who decided to adopt me, since my real one's in California."

He then said to Aelita, "Did you get those lost memories back yet?"

Aelita then replied, "Yes, William. I now remember some stuff that I really can't tell you until we can trust you. You can have dinner with us."

William then replied, "Great, Aelita! It's about time to have dinner!" and goes to the buffet.

He then pays and gets some pizza, breadsticks, salad, and ice cream.

After they eat, they go inside the arcade, where they see Sissi looking at Ulrich.

He then said to Sissi, "I don't like you, so get the hell away from me."

Sissi then runs from him and cries.

She runs to Aelita, who's still at the booth, and said to her, "Do you care about me?"

Aelita then replied, "Sissi, sit down with me. Let me talk to you."

Sissi then sits right across from her and said, "Ulrich told me to get the hell away from him."

Aelita then replied, "Sissi, he hates you. In fact, in my group, I'm supposed to hate you, but I can't see a girl cry. Yes, I do care about you. In fact, I may be the only one in the group that likes you as a friend."

She thinks for a second and then cries. She hugs Sissi and Jeremy walks to the booth.

He faints and thinks to himself, "Why is Aelita friends with that betrayer Sissi? I don't want her to be a friend to her."

After that, he got himself up and found out he had spilt his soda all over his worn-out blue t-shirt and long, tight blue jeans.

He said to himself, "Crap…"

After that, they leave the arcade and meet in front of the ice cream shop.

Odd said to Jeremy, "So we go back to the school and the girls spend the night at Yumi's. Is that the plan, Einstein?"

Jeremy then replied, "Yes, Oddball. It is the plan. At least Aelita didn't sit in the 'nosebleed' section. That's where they do the musical number, according to Yumi…or it could be the area where you get your limbs cut off. Well, see you tomorrow. We gotta decide on what to do for vacation."

Aelita then said to him, "Alright, but wait one moment" and kisses him on the lips.

He then stops in his tracks and Odd and Ulrich had to carry him back to the dorm, as he froze again, if you see in many SonNeko fanart. The girls went back to Yumi's house.

Inside, Yumi's dad and mom are doing their usual fighting. The girls then sit down and hear the fight go on.

Yumi's mom said to Takeo, her dad, "You don't play that stupid classic rock in front of Hiroki! They think they can climb to the Rockies in America!"

Takeo then replied, "I CAN LISTEN TO MY JOE WALSH LPs IF I WANT TO, WOMAN!! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BOSS ME IN MY INTERESTS! JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE INTO FUGAZI DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO HATE JOE WALSH!!"

Yumi then runs to them and said, "I'M TIRED OF YOUR FIGHTING EVERY FREAKIN' NIGHT!! YOU MUST LOVE EACH OTHER LIKE YOU DID WHEN I WAS YOUNG!! I JUST DON'T LIKE IT AND I FEEL LIKE CRYING WHEN YOU FIGHT EVERY NIGHT!!"

She then starts crying and said to her dad, "It's okay if you play your Joe Walsh records in front of Johnny and Hiroki. At least it's safer than Fugazi, because the Dischord artists, except for Jawbox, curse a lot."

Aelita walks over to Yumi and said to her, "It's okay, Yumi. A lot of parents fight a lot."

Yumi then stops crying and said to her, "I know, Aelita, but they yell a lot. I just want them to let peace have a chance."

Takeo then yells to Yumi, "JOHN LENNON IS NOT GREAT! HE WAS NAKED ON AN ALBUM COVER!! HE WAS A BEATLE THAT KILLED HIS BUDDY, PAUL!! WHY? BACKMASKING IS THE KEY!"

Aelita then yells back, "Shut up, Takeo! You traumatized Yumi a lot, so she has to leave home a lot!"

Takeo then yells back, "AELITA STONES, SHUT YOUR LITTLE MOUTH! YOU'RE THE REASON WHY WE DON'T HAVE PEACE!!"

Yumi's mom then puts sleeping pills in him and he goes to sleep.

She then replied to Aelita, who's bawling at what Takeo said, "He always gets like that every night. Please don't join in our fights ever again. It makes us think that you are trying to fight for one of us. I think Yumi's not okay with our little fights."

Aelita dries up her tears and then said, "Okay, Mrs. Ishiyama. You are true about Yumi being very emotional about your fights. The reason is that you fight like every single day, talking about how one's so useless and how you don't your husband to listen to Joe Walsh, a very great guy. Also, Fugazi is somewhat good."

After the fight, Aelita and Yumi went to bed and slept until morning. Aelita then woke up from another nightmare and saw Yumi out of her bed.

She then said to her, "Can I use your computer to check my e-mail?"

Yumi replied, "Okay, Aelita."

She then gets up from the bed and turns on the computer to Yahoo! Mail. Aelita logs in and checks her inbox. There's e-mail from Jeremy, e-mail from Ulrich, and e-mail from some guy named Graham. She clicks on the latter one. It reads:

**Dear Sis!**

**How's it going on Earth? Dad told me about you being freed from Lyoko not too long ago. In fact, I'd like for you and your friends to come over to Orlando during the summer. I even made the beds up for y'all. **

**Love,**

**Your Brother Graham C. Hopper**

Aelita then prints out the e-mail and heads downstairs to the breakfast table, where Yumi is eating Honey Comb.

She then said to Yumi, "Hey, Yumi. This guy named Graham sent me an e-mail about coming over to his house."

Yumi then replied, "I got that same e-mail last night, Aelita. He wants all of us to pack up."

Aelita then replied, "I have to pack up! Oh, crap!"

She runs out of the house and goes to her dorm. She then packs a bunch of her outfits and then Jeremy comes in.

He said to her, "Graham said to pack summer clothing. I'll be in my room while I dance to Neil Young in my underwear."

Aelita packs summer clothing and zips her suitcase up. She then walks to Jeremy's room, where he is dancing to "Rockin' In The Free World" by Neil Young in his underwear and a hat shaped like Mickey Mouse ears.

He then said to her, "I'm done packing, Aelita. You can check on Ulrich and Odd." She then runs to their room, where they are playing "Yo Momma" while listening to "Ya Hozna".

They stop when she comes in and Odd said to her, "We're packed already. I'm not playing Yo Momma with Lars over there…"

Ulrich then replied, "I'm not Lars Ulrich! I'm Ulrich Stern! Did your momma teach you that I'm Lars?"

They resume their game. Aelita smiles and leaves very slowly, being very, very shocked.

Later, in the afternoon, all of the gang are in front of Yumi's house ala "Meaty Beaty, Big and Bouncy" when Graham comes by.

They get into the car and he said, "Do you like Monty Python?"

Odd said, "Yeah, but their later movies are crap."

Yumi said to Graham, "I like the show and the music, but the movies aren't what they are supposed to be."

Ulrich said to Graham, "I like the Holy Grail and the recordings, but the show and those other movies annoy me."

Jeremy said to Graham, "THEY SUCK! MEL BROOKS IS BETTER!! HE RODE A BLAZING SADDLE…"

The last answer, Aelita, said to her brother, "I like them all, including the R-rated movies and the show."

Graham then replied, "Good for you, sis."

He directs his sentence to the rest of the gang and said to them, "Too bad, brood. When we get to Atlanta, we're going to watch Monty Python in a car that makes you see them all! Why? You have to care about the good comedy."

Odd replied, "Like 'Who's Your Caddy'?"

Graham yells back, "NOT LIKE THAT SHITFACE COMEDY!!"

In Atlanta, after a-what-would-be-long airplane ride, they get into the car. Aelita kicks her shoes and socks off and starts watching the first episode of "Monty Python's Flying Circus" while doing her nails.

Yumi said in a sardonic attitude, "HELP US!! HELP US!!"

Aelita replied to Yumi, "Don't worry. I think he's like that."

Yumi then said to her, "Not the show! Your bad odor! Oh, wait. It's Odd."

The group starts laughing at Odd, who's saying to himself, "Don't cry…don't cry…don't cry."

Aelita laughs sarcastically and said to the gang, "It is not funny laughing at Odd. He is very, very emotional about these types of things. In fact, maybe we should all treat him a little nicer. That goes for the person that I don't know."

Suddenly, TVs show up in front of the gang and the seats make them get close to it, except for Aelita, who can watch the show from her regular position, as she actually cares about good comedy, not just weird movies like "Who's Your Caddy" or "The Holiday" or…"Leonard Part 6".


	6. Orlando And Yumi's Sadness

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

Chapter 6

"**At least this is not like Ronnie Van Zant's plane crash back in the '70s."**

**-Anonymous**

Chapter 6 

"**At least this is not like Ronnie Van Zant's plane crash back in the '70s."**

**-Anonymous**

When the car pulled up to the driveway, the gang was already strung out on Monty Python, as in, they loved the comedy troupe way too much.

For one moment, Yumi said to Ulrich, "FLESH WOUND TIME!!!"

Ulrich replied, "You're a loony!! You're invincible! You're the Spanish Inquisition! I didn't even expect a type of Spanish Inquisition! I even get offended by people falling out of buildings! Sorry, Mr. Gumby!"

Graham then said to them, "I knew I shouldn't have rented the car. At least Aelita's not strung out on it, are you?"

He turns his head around and sees her defaced boots and worn out pink-and-white socks lying there. She wasn't in the car. He suddenly hears horse hooves, but when he got out of the car, he sees Aelita banging 2 coconuts together in the grass.

He walks to her and said, "You are strung out on it, aren't you?"

She then replied, "No. I just like banging coconuts together for fun. Anyways, here's something I wanted to ask you: WHO IN THE HELL ARE YOU? THAT'S WHAT I WANNA KNOW!!"

Graham then replied, "I'm your brother, Aelita."

He ponders for a while and said to her, "Dad forgot to put me in your memories after you recovered them in a dying state."

She replied, "Yes, man. He forgot to. I still think you're trying to kidnap me, you big fat kidnapper."

Graham replied, "I am not a kidnapper! I am a page to Congress! I am well respected in my job!"

Graham takes Aelita inside the house and into his room. There, he puts a baseball cap on her and flips a switch on it. Suddenly, Aelita has a headache and screams in total pain as she is getting her other memories out of her prison, mostly the ones with Rush, Dan, Peter, and Graham. After a minute with it on, she takes it off by force and swallows some Excedrin pills.

Graham then said to her, "Do you remember me?"

Aelita then replied, "I do, Graham. I remember you and I beating the crap out of Neil Peart. I remember my friends Peter and Dan, but their last names are still in prison. I do not want the cap on anymore."

She then walks out of the room and sees her suitcases next to the room where Jeremy is in. She takes them in there and sees him trying to sing.

Aelita then said to him, "Alright. I'm just gonna leave my suitcases here and leave you alone."

She puts the suitcases on the bed and walks over to Odd's room.

In there, he is drawing another picture of the group, except on this one, he's drawing Aelita with flip-flops on, like the day before. Have you seen his previous works of art? If he really weren't fighting monsters on Lyoko, he would be in art class, drawing the Titanic in all of its glory when sinking…and in excruciating detail. Anyways, Aelita sees her Gibson Les Paul guitar and gets it out of her case. She then starts playing the first notes of "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt and he starts cheering.

She plays some more fingerstyle-picking guitar and was good at it. She got out her slide and started to use it some.

He said to her, "Can you go back to Jeremy's room? I'm going to dress in my bathing suit. Aren't you?"

Aelita then replied, "Probably, but not now" and goes out of the room into the living room.

She puts her legs on the couch, her feet onto the 20-year-old coffee table and plays more of the James Blunt hit.

Graham comes into the living room and said, "Hey, little sis. I didn't know you played guitar!"

She replied, "I've learned, thanks to Odd. He plays a little guitar, but due to me having a higher IQ, I could learn more guitar than him. Of course, I do remember from 1989 when I got a guitar to practice by. I remember when Alex Lifeson saw me playing it and he taught me how to use the whammy bar while strumming along."

Graham then sits next to her and turns on his stereo. He then switches it to CD and plays the song, "Doll Parts", off of Hole's second CD, "Live Through This". Aelita then strums along to the song.

Graham said to her, "You know that Courtney Love song? Did you know that she was once married to…?"

Aelita replied, "Kurt Cobain. She was married to the grunge star for 2 years, and then he died. In fact, I believe this CD is better than 'Celebrity Skin' in many ways. She wasn't as wild as she is now."

Graham is stunned, as she knows about the song and the singer, Courtney Love.

He said to her, "Alright, let's see if you know this song."

He then switches CDs to Devo's greatest hits CD, "Greatest Hits", and turns it to the song "Freedom of Choice".

Aelita said to her brother, "That's a great Devo song right there. Did you know that Mark Mothersbaugh is now…?"

Graham replied, "He made many theme songs, Aelita, including the Rugrats theme song. He worships a guy named 'Bob'. His partner, Gerald V. Casale, made many music videos, including the one for the Foo Fighters, 'I'll Stick Around'."

Aelita then said, "You know about that? Well, let's watch some TV."

Graham switches the stereo to TV and turns on his TV. He switches the channel to TBS, currently playing "Spaceballs" in all of its glory.

Meanwhile, Odd gets out of his room, along with Ulrich, in his bathing suit. They walk outside to the pool and hop into it. They practice their laps and then get out as James Blunt is going outside from the house in the same clothes he was in the video for "You're Beautiful". The 2 boys sit down on lawn chairs and see James Blunt reenact the video correctly in its original order.

While watching it, Ulrich said to Odd, "This sucks. He's doing the whole thing."

Odd replied, "I have a plan. We could get OK Go to get out here and do their treadmill video. Of course, James would be crying by then. He's scared of YouTube videos. Also, we could get the MC5 to yell that 'Kick out the jams, m-f-er!' line from that song!"

Of course, James heard their dialogue the whole time and ran to them while in the middle of taking off his shirts. He then spanks them so hard that they cry out rivers.

James said to them, "Don't make fun of me! Ever!"

Odd retorts to James, "Don't spank us for spoofing for your lame video!"

Ulrich adds on, "Yeah! You're mean!"

James replied to Ulrich and Odd, "YOU ARE, SO SHUT UP, BABIES!!!"

Ulrich and Odd say, "We're not babies!" and push James into the house.

He walks around, trying to find Graham, and finally sees him, watching TV with Aelita.

Graham then said, "YOU FREELOADER!!! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!"

He gets up and chases James into the pool with a shotgun. James jumps in, trying to hide from him.

Odd and Ulrich come in and change into their clothes.

Odd then said to Graham, "Hey, are we gonna eat dinner tonight?"

Graham replied, "Do you have a license?"

Odd answers back, "Yeah, but it's a French license. I can only drive with Ulrich, Aelita, Yumi, or you. In fact, I was going to the Sizzler on International Drive. Have you been there?"

Graham comes back with, "Yeah. It's pretty good. They have great food. Do you know where International Drive is?"

Odd then said to him, "No, Graham. I do not. I bet Aelita knows where it is. She's been looking out of the window of the car when we were in Orlando."

Aelita enters the conversation by saying, "Take a left from the driveway and turn right at the intersection. Drive 1.5 miles until you see a sign that said International Drive. Turn left on it. It'll take you towards downtown Orlando, where the Sizzler is. I want to come."

She then gets up from the couch and puts her guitar on the coffee table. She walks into Jeremy's room, where he is listening to his Neil Young CD, "Freedom". She opens up the suitcase and grabs out a pair of sneakers and socks. She grabs the socks and walks to the bathroom. From there, she washes her dirty feet off. After that, she walks to Jeremy's room, puts on the socks and gets out a pair of blue jeans. She slips out of her jumper, grabs out her billfold, and puts on the jeans. She then puts on the shoes and goes out the room. Aelita walks with Ulrich and Odd to Graham's other car, a 1994 Ford Taurus. She gets in the front passenger seat and Odd gets into the driver's seat. Ulrich sits in the back. They buckle their seatbelts and Odd puts in the key. Suddenly, the car turns on and the radio plays the CD currently in there, Jawbox's 1994 cult classic CD, "For Your Own Special Sweetheart". The CD was on track 2, also known as the minor hit, "Savory".

Odd headbangs to it and said to Aelita, "Do you know how to operate automatic transmission?" Aelita answers, "Yes, Odd. I do know. All you do is shift the gear into reverse and back up out of the driveway."

Odd then puts the gear into reverse and backs out of the driveway. He puts the gear into D and drives to the intersection.

He then turns right and then said to Aelita, "Alright, Princess. You go 1.5 miles?"

Aelita then replied, "Yes, Odd. You do. Can you please be quiet and let me listen to the song? I love these guys."

Odd then drives 1.5 miles to the intersection of the Osceola Parkway and International Drive. He then turns left and as "Savory" was fading out, he then ejects the CD and puts in "Pork Soda" by Primus. The CD starts out with some banjo, and then the bass line gets in as the track turns into "My Name Is Mud", their profitable single off of the album. As the song plays, Aelita sees the Sizzler in the distance and a bunch of traffic hanging around it.

She then said to Odd, "Why did you want to go to the Sizzler?"

Odd replied, "I saw a commercial for it on TV. It's supposed to be good. Even Graham said so."

Aelita then said to him, "If you must know, the area around the Sizzler has a bunch of traffic near it."

Ulrich answers, "That means there's a bunch of people near it. It must be busy tonight, Odd. Give up already."

Odd yells to Ulrich, "I'm not gonna give up! You gotta…give up!"

When they get near the Sizzler, they see a bunch of cars parked near it. They go into the parking lot and see it wasn't really full. They park into a space and they get out. They walk inside and see a bunch of people waiting for a table.

Odd said to the waiter, "We need a table for 3."

The waiter said to them, "We have one open. Follow me."

The gang then follows the waiter to the table and he lays out their menus. Odd then looks at the menu and his mouth is watering at all of the choices.

He waits until the waiter comes to them and he said, "I want a Mr. PiBB, please."

Aelita and Ulrich order a Pepsi and a Mountain Dew, respectively.

The waiter comes back with their drinks and said to them, "What do you want? I think the weird kid wants a salad."

Odd then said, "No, I don't, mister. I want a steak cooked medium rare with French Fries, a loaded baked potato, and an order of onion rings."

Aelita then said to the waiter, "Get me a steak, cooked medium well, with a baked potato."

Ulrich then orders a hamburger. If you're wondering why they're eating at Sizzler, it's because they have more than $50 in their pockets right now.

Ten minutes later, the waiter comes with their food and said to them, "What country are you from?"

They all reply, "France. We come from a college there."

Aelita then starts eating her steak and baked potato. Odd eats his smorgasbord of food and Ulrich bites into his hamburger.

He then said to Odd, "Wasn't it weird when James Blunt was reenacting his music video in front of us?"

Odd then said, "It was weird, Ulrich. I just hope OK Go don't do their treadmill video in here."

Suddenly, the announcer said, "Ladies and gentlemen, people ages 13 , here's the band OK Go!!!"

The crowd cheers as the cult band gets onto the stage. They get onto treadmills and start reenacting the "Here It Goes Again" video in front of the crowd.

Odd then said, "I spoke too soon, did I?"

After dinner, they pay for their meals and head back to the Taurus.

Aelita then said to the boys, "Let's go to Old Town and ride the go-karts there."

Ulrich and Odd agree. They get into the car, with Aelita now as driver, and drive to Old Town. When they get there, they park in the Old Town parking space and run to the go-karts. They get the tickets for them and go to the line. Soon, they were up next. They get into go-karts with a bunch of other people and drive around the track. Aelita wins the race.

After the go-kart race, they walk back to the Taurus and go inside it. They drive back to Graham's house and pull up in the driveway. They lock the car and go inside. Graham is inside, watching more Mel Brooks films.

He then said to them, "Where have you guys been?"

Odd then said to him, "We've been to the Sizzler and Old Town. That's all."

Graham then said to him, "Did you have an awesome time there?"

Aelita then said to him, "Yeah, Graham. We did have a fun time."

She then grabs her guitar and starts practicing her scales, and then she goes into the guitar line for some song she wrote.

She said to Graham, "I love this song I'm playing" and takes her shoes and socks off.

She puts her legs in a criss-cross style on the couch. She plays more of her guitar and the boys sit near her.

Ulrich applauds for her and said, "You're pretty awesome on that instrument, Hopper. I wonder if Odd taught you."

Odd then said to him, "I did, Ulrich. I taught her how to play it so she wouldn't be like DJ Lethal of Limp Bizkit. Stupid air raid vehicles rollin' and posin'."

After the guitar playing, Aelita goes into Jeremy's room, where he is rocking out to more Neil Young songs in his underwear.

She said to him, "What in the hell are you doing?"

He then replied, "Dancing."

Aelita then replied, "Where's Yumi?"

Ulrich goes into Odd's room and sees Yumi talking on her phone, clearly arguing. She then hangs up and starts crying.

Ulrich comes to her and said, "What's the matter?"

Yumi replied, "My mom and dad wondered where I was. I told them I was going to Orlando, but they didn't listen. They argued with me and yelled how I was worthless, not like Hiroki. They like him more than me. I don't know why they argue around me."

Ulrich then hugs her and said, "Don't worry, Yumi. They're just disappointed due to your night trips to the factory."

Yumi said, "Okay, Ulrich. I wonder how William's doing."

Ulrich then said, "He's here, but he doesn't know we're here. Aelita, Odd, and I saw him at Old Town with his mom and dad. He seemed to have fun on the go-karts."

Meanwhile, in Aelita's room, she gets into her pajamas and gets into bed. Jeremy is doing the same. Aelita falls to sleep immediately.

The next day, Aelita wakes up at 6:40 am and goes out of the room. She grabs her guitar and starts playing it in her room.

Jeremy wakes up and then said to her, "Why'd you wake me up to this wretched music?"

Aelita said, "I need practice."

She puts up the guitar and takes her socks off. She then lays her legs on the bed and starts reading a Newsweek.

Jeremy then said, "Are you wanting to read that book?"

Aelita replied, "Yes, Jeremy."

Jeremy then said, "Can I rub your right foot?"

She said, "Alright with me."

He then starts rubbing it.

He said, "It feels like…"

Aelita interrupts, "…like linen being sprayed with gasoline, I know."

He then starts to tickle it. She feels it and jerks her foot away from him.

She said, "What were you trying to do to me?"

He said, "Relax you, Hopper."

She then puts back on her socks and puts on her clothes she had on the night before. She walks out of the room and heads to Graham, who's cooking breakfast.

She said to him, "Hey, Graham. What are we having for breakfast?"

He then replied, "Bacon, eggs, sausage, ham, biscuits, gravy, that good stuff."

Aelita comments, "It's 7:00 now."

Graham then said to her, "That reminds me" and presses a button on the wall.

The whole house immediately plays the Beatles hit, "Helter Skelter".

Graham then sees that no one, except for Odd, is arriving, so at the outburst of Ringo Starr, he turns the volume up to, "THAT'S GOTTA HURT!!!" and everybody arrives in refuge of the yell.


	7. Disney World and Aelita's Grounded

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 7

"Now I got this funny feeling from which I bought air-mail from a man that lives in a tee-pee in California."

**-Damon Albarn**

At the breakfast table, all of them are eating a Southern delicacy, which is bacon, eggs, biscuits, Jimmy Dean sausage, and ham. Odd, while taking a bite from his biscuit, says to Graham, "Graham, this is the best dang breakfast I had in my life. Can you explain to all of us why you woke us up that early? We're not like you, Graham." Jeremy adds, "Also, Aelita got up at around the same time as you do." Graham then replies to both of the boys, "Okay. My dad, Aelita, and I are early birds. We go to sleep at a really late time, yet we wake up just fine at around 6:40 am. Unfortunately, our mom wasn't one of us, so we had to rig a record player to play 'Helter Skelter' and then turn the volume at the 4:25 mark to the 4:29 mark. Do you know what those marks hold in between?" Jeremy replies, " Is it Paul McCartney's usage of the 's-word' due to goofing up on a line?" Graham then says to him, "That's 'A Day in the Life', Jeremy." Odd then says to Graham, "Is it Yoko Ono and Linda McCartney's very bad background singing?" Graham replies, "No, Odd. That's 'Birthday', also from the White Album." Aelita then replies, "Is it Ringo Starr's infamous outburst of 'I GOT BLISTERS ON MY FINGERS'?" Graham then says to her, "Yes, little sister. You know about this because I showed you, right?" She replies, "No, Graham. I have the song on my iPod. I also have the CD."

Graham then replies, "Okay, Aelita. Do you know what we're doing today?" Odd replies, "Going into a Blockbuster Video?" Graham then says, "No, Odd. We're going to Disney World. Have you been there?" Odd then says, "I have, when I was a kid. I remember that my dad wanted to play his copy of '2112'. If y'all don't know, I'm also a fan of Rush." Graham then says, "Okay, Odd. Hasn't anybody gone?" Jeremy then replies, "Yes, Graham. I've been there 2 years ago. In reality, it was Disneyland Paris, and it was a piece of crap." Yumi then says to Graham, "I've been to Disneyland Tokyo with my dad. Unfortunately, my mom was pregnant with Hiroki." Ulrich says to Yumi, "I'm a bit sorry for you, Yumi." He then says to Graham, "I've been to Disneyland in Anaheim. It wasn't much." Aelita then says to Graham, "I haven't gone in my entire life, since I was born on May 24, 1982. I kept asking my dad if I can go to Disney World, but he kept saying, 'NO!!' to me. I really wanted to go so badly, yet today, I get to do that. I even asked in Lyoko, yet he said, 'NOT LIKELY, AELITA MELANIE HOPPER!!!' Why didn't he let me go?" However, the story got boring and Jeremy says to her, "SHUT UP, PRINCE!!" Aelita replies, "No, Jeremy. You're mean to me, so I can be mean to you. If you keep on, you're gonna go get a one way ticket to Hell and back!!!"

Jeremy, having his feelings hurt by the Darkness mentioning, starts crying and says to her, "I HATE YOU, HOPPER!! I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE MATERIALIZED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!" He then runs into the bathroom. Graham then says to her, "Apologize to him or you'll be the next person beaten up multiple times in this story!" Aelita grumbles and says, "Fine." She then walks into the bathroom, where Jeremy is still crying. She says to him, "Belpois, I'm sorry for making you cry. You shouldn't be so weird and protective around me." Jeremy dries up and says, "I accept, Hopper. What made me cry was that Darkness reference." Aelita's face turns red and yells to him, "YOU CRIED OVER A SONG REFERENCE? HOW COULD YOU?"

After that, they got dressed in their clothes, except for Aelita, who was already in her clothes, and Graham, who was already in his clothes, and went to Graham's other car, as the one they rode from Atlanta to Orlando was long gone (so was her boots), a Ford Focus. They hopped in and drove to the intersection. They turned left and drove to Highway 441. There, they turned right and drove across the "unfinished" section of I-4 to the Disney World Parkway. They got on and rode to the parking lot for Epcot. They ended up parking next to a Smart car with the word "Blur" in Bauhaus 93 and a Toyota Prius with the Starman logo, Rush's symbol, on the driver's side door. Aelita says to Graham, "We're going with Rush and Blur? Wow!" Graham then replies, "We are, Aelita." She then gets out of the car and does an air guitar.

From there, they walk to the main gate and see the bands Blur and Rush standing there, waiting for Graham and his group. When they get there, Geddy says to Graham, "Where have you been?" Graham replies, "At home, feeding them a Southern breakfast. Why?" Geddy then says to him, "We want to see Aelita." Aelita walks over to them and says, "You wanted me." Geddy, Alex, and Neil then hug her. After they get done hugging, Aelita says to Geddy, "I haven't seen you in a long time, Geddy!" Geddy then replies, "I know, Aelita! Maybe you should do something, like talk to Neil or Alex." Aelita then says to Alex, "Here's some good advice: don't eat before you go to bed. That way, you don't have nightmares." He replies, "I just had them in the 1970s, when we wrote that instrumental. What? They freaked me out!"

Graham then says to all of them, "Be quiet for a second. So we won't have many conflicts, here's how we'll do grouping. Group 1 is Aelita, Jeremy, Geddy, and I. Group 2 is Ulrich, Odd, Neil Peart, and Alex James. Group 3 is Yumi, Dave Rowntree, and Alex Lifeson. Now, GROUP!!" They get into their groups, and then they split up. Graham then says, "Meet me at the paintball course in Epcot at 6 o'clock." They head a different direction. Group 1 heads towards the Bill Nye/Ellen DeGeneres show. Geddy then says to Graham, "So, what are we going to do first? Do Soarin'?" Group 1 heads towards the aforementioned ride. There, they ride it. During the ride, Jeremy says to Aelita, "This is a public place, so don't mention that you're Aelita Hopper or anything like that, okay?" Aelita replies, "I'm not dumb, Jeremy. I got a 95.2 average." He says to her, "Shaa! All because of your math scores! You improved, Hopper?" Aelita replies in a very harsh tone, "Well, Belpois. Do you want a Grade A independent woman's hand in your face? Do you hate America? I am an American!" Jeremy backs away from her and says, "You're an American? Is Neil Young one?" Geddy says to him, "No, Jeremy. He's a Canadian, just like Alex, Neil, and I. Tom Petty, however, is an American." Jeremy then says, "Oh…why did Neil record for an American label in the '80s?" Geddy replies, "Reasons. Now, be quiet…BOTH OF YOU!!! DON'T MAKE ME REPEDIATELY HURT YOU LIKE PEOPLE DO TO NEIL PEART!!!" The teenagers then are quiet, thanks to Geddy's threat.

After the ride, Group 1 then sits on a bench waiting for Geddy, who's using the bathroom. Suddenly, this man in his early 20s in a business suit sits down next to Aelita. He says to her, "Hello, my name is Daniel Duncan and I run Osama bin Sucker Records, an alternative rock label noted for signing Neil Young and the Shocking Pink Horses (guess what 2 of his backup bands were combined to make that gay symbol). Anyways, I remember a girl known as Aelita Hopper. She was beautiful. The first time I saw her, she was playing with Matchbox cars due to her parents divorce or something." Aelita then replies to him, "It was Hot Wheels and I was playing with them due to me having no friends, until I met you. I'm Aelita Hopper." Dan ponders for a moment and then laughs at her. He says, "You? Her? That's hilarious!" Aelita then replies to him, "No, it's not funny, Dan. Let me show you." She then rolls up her sleeve to show him a birthmark. He then says, "You are Aelita Hopper, aren't you? I haven't seen you in a long time!" He then hugs her, but Geddy comes back and says, "We're off to the next ride! Follow me!"

All of Group 1 follows Geddy towards the ride Test Track. Dan follows them towards there. There, Aelita says to her brother, "Can I ride it?" Graham then replies, "You should know what really happens on there!" Graham then says to her,

"_It was a day when I was 24. I went to Disney Land with John Fruscante, Anthony Kiedis, Michael Balzry, and Chad Smith from that funk metal band. I knew them somehow. Well, I wanted to go on this ride and they agreed, so we rode it. First off, we got into a test car supposedly made by GM, but it had the Volkswagen, the OLD Volkswagen logo on the hood. Well, when we got started, we went through this wall, but we crashed at high speeds a million times. We almost got whiplash. After that, we rode through Auschwitz and rewitnessed what happened at that camp full of Jewish people. Well, you probably know. After we went through Germany, we go into the streets and then these gunmen hijacked our car. We had to walk through those 24 miles. We hitchhiked on a Model T, but it was going slow, so we jumped off. After we had jumped off, we landed in front of a concert arena and then all of these rappers come by and sing, 'You've gotten the crap beaten outta you! You've gotten the crap beaten outta you! You've gotten the crap beaten outta you!" in the tune of 'God Gave Rock And Roll' by Argent. In the middle of the song, I screamed, 'SHUT UP, ALREADY!' We ended up getting off in about 2 minutes and then I said, 'What a complete waste of time.'"_

Aelita, after hearing the story, says to Graham, "There's no way I'm going on that hellride!" They walk past it and head towards the International section, where the paintball course was supposed to be. There, they sit on another bench while Graham gets 4 Cokes. He then comes back with them. Aelita grabs her and drinks it. Geddy sips on it. Only Graham, Jeremy, and Damon are left with theirs. Damon says, "About the paintball course, can't we have fun somewhere else? I really don't want anybody to get hurt or do anything like that!"

Graham, Geddy, and Aelita are blank-eyed due to what Damon had said. Finally, Aelita spoke up, "I believe you, Damon. In fact, I can even sing about it." Damon and Aelita don on Riverdance clothes, canes, hats, and tap-dancing shoes, and a grunge hit from 1991 starts playing. Aelita then sings, "Load up your guns, bring your friends…" Jeremy then goes to the DJ, currently seated comfortably next to them, and takes the record off with the infamous "record scratch" sound. He says to Aelita, "Aelita, don't sing! It's so wonderful! It's so wonderful that you make me have a hernia!" Aelita gets back into her clothes that she was wearing and she says to Jeremy, "I can do what in the hell I want, Steve Ho…we." Jeremy's face turns red. He yells, "YOU MAKE JON ANDERSON MAD! YOU MAKE ME MAD!!!" He then slaps Aelita in the face and she cringes in pain. She then replies to him, "YOUR MOM!!!" and hits him in the stomach. It jolts him back to the vendor. He then runs, as to tackle Aelita, yet he misses her by a nanometer and flips over the bench. He yells in pain, "My ankle! My ankle!" He tries to stand up, but he falls down, as his ankle is completely shattered into pieces. Blood then flows out of it and he yells, "I see the light! I see William Shatner! I also see Leomard Nimoy! I somewhat see James Doohan! I see Captain Scotty! Beam me up! Beam me up into Heaven, Scotty!"

Graham sees Jeremy's rant and says to Aelita, "You better take a mikvah, young girl! You got yourself into big trouble! In fact, he's out of your room until you learn a lesson! You also are grounded from the paintball field!" Aelita was not admitted into the paintball field that day.

Meanwhile, Alex Lifeson's group did boring stuff around Magic Kingdom for some reason.

At 6 pm, they meet Graham in front of the paintball course at Epcot. They head to the Western Sizzlin' on International Drive. There, Aelita is sitting at the table, crying to her. Yumi walks over to her and says, "You not eating anything, outkast?" Big Boi and Andre 3000 walk over to Yumi and say, "We're gonna sue you for using our name!" Yumi replies, "It's not like that…fine." She then says, "You not eating anything, outcast?" The rappers leave. Aelita replies, "I am, but I'm crying because Graham thinks I'm this big jerk. Really, it's Jeremy, even though he freed me from Lyoko. It's his fault when he fell down the Kadics stairs…two times. He also blamed my enemy for doing something that didn't happen to me. It was really repressed memories that were stuck in me for a long time. Why does he do that?" Yumi replies, "He wants to protect you, Aelita. He wants you to have a safe life…so, are you going to eat anything?" Aelita yells to Yumi, "I AM, DAMN IT!!" She grabs her plate in anger and goes to the buffet. She gets a piece of pizza, steak, corn, fries, a roll, and a Tijuana Brass salad. She goes to the soda fountain and gets a Mr. Pibb and a Red Vine. She bites both ends of the licorice and puts it in her Mr. Pibb, drinking it like a straw and doing what Adam Samberg and Chris Parnell say what is "Crazy delicious". She sits down at the table and eats her food, very slowly, in anger. Yumi says to Aelita, "What's wrong?" Aelita replies, "SHUT UP, YUMI! JEREMY'S BECOMING WEIRD AND I'M REALIZING THAT…DOES HE REALLY LOVE ME? GRAHAM WOULDN'T LET ME INTO THE PAINTBALL COURSE! WHY? HE'S A BIG FAT JERK!!" Graham walks over to her and slaps her in the face. He then yells to her, "DON'T CALL ME A JERK, GIRL! I'M OLDER THAN YOU, SO I GET TO BOSS YOU! YOU ARE GROUNDED FROM THE POOL TOMORROW!" Aelita then starts crying and she starts eating more…

When she wakes up the next morning, she grabs a noose and tries to tie it around her neck. She then says, "Mommy, I'm going to be with you!" She starts crying, as she would miss her friends and her dad, especially. She unties the noose and walks to the door. She then takes her socks off and walks onto the grass, feeling the blades in between her toes. She thinks, "What shall I do? Maybe Herb and Jerry would come and sign us on their label." She walks back into the house and turns on the TV as the doorbell rings. She opens it and sees Herb Alpert and Jerry Moss. She says, "Hello, guys."

END OF CHAPTER 7


	8. Talent Scouts

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 8

Lyrics are owned by Apple Corps and, to some extent, Michael Jackson.

**100000110001010101010100111010010101000101110111011010101101101010101010**

The two record label owners reply to her, "Yes, Aelita? We came here to sign you and your band to our record label…where are they?" She then says to them, "Wait a second" and presses the button to play "Helter Skelter" over the intercom. Suddenly, Herb says to her, "DON'T USE ILLEGAL SAMPLES OF OUR MUSIC!!! YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO NEGATIVLAND? Er, I mean, don't make the remaining members of the Beatles very angry." Aelita then shows the whites of her eyes and says, "It's their wake up call." She then goes back to regular vision and turns up the volume on the Ringo Starr yell. Herb pushes the button off as soon as the song ends. He says, "I told you, 'Don't use illegal samples of our music!' but you couldn't listen!" and starts tickling her armpit. She then laughs and falls onto the floor. At the same time, the others come to the kitchen and see Herb tickling her. Yumi says to him, "You 71-year-old perv! Don't tickle her!" Herb stops tickling Aelita and she gets up. She then says to Yumi, "This guy says he is going to sign us to A&M, but due to the looks of it, it may be the guys who own Apple Records. He seemed to be very, very, VERY protective of the Beatles' music."

She then goes into her bedroom and gets out a new pair of jeans, a pink t-shirt, and a black long-sleeved shirt. She gets out of her PJs, puts on the long-sleeved shirt, then the pink shirt, and then the jeans. She then takes off her socks and puts on her Circas. She walks out of the room and grabs her amplifier on the way out. She grabs the cables for her guitar and plugs the guitar into the amp. The other members dress into some clean clothes and set up the instruments. Yumi sets up a drum kit. Odd then says to the members, "Alright, guys. Yumi has to play drums as Nicholas isn't here." Yumi grumbles and grabs out a pair of drumsticks. She gets behind the drum set. Odd then says to the A&R directors, "Guys, Aelita is playing the guitar and singing as she has a better singing range. I play the bass and the German boy plays backup guitar. Alright, let's start!" They start playing a Beatles song:

**Revolution (Lennon-McCartney) ©1968 Apple Publishing and ©1987 EMI Records Inc. All rights reserved. Lyrics belong to John Lennon's estate, Paul McCartney, Richard Starkey, George Harrison's estate, and Michael Jackson, the current holder of the Beatles catalogue. The song originally appeared on the Hey Jude/Revolution single, released 1968 by Apple Records, currently owned by the EMI Group.**

_(Scream)_

_Say you want a revolution._

_Well, you know, we all want to change the world._

_You tell me that it's evolution._

_Well, you know, we all want to change the world._

_But when you talk about destruction,_

_Don't you know that you can count me out?_

_You know it's gonna be alright!_

_Alright! Alright!_

_Say you got a real solution._

_Well, you know, we don't love to see the plan._

_You ask me for a contribution._

_Well, you know, we don't do in what we can._

_But if you want money for people with minds that hate,_

_All I can tell you is, "Brother, you have to wait."_

_You know it's gonna be alright!_

_Alright! Alright! _

_(Instrumental)_

_Say you can change the Constitution._

_Well, you know, we don't love to change your head._

_You tell me it's the institution._

_Well, you know, you better free your mind instead!_

_But you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao,_

_You aren't going to make it with anyone anyhow!_

_You know it's going to be all right!_

_All right! All right! All right!_

_All right! (X9)_

At the end of the Beatles cover, since the 2 directors are getting a little happy, they take off their costumes to reveal that they are, in fact, part of the owners of Apple Records, Yoko Ono and Paul McCartney. Paul walks to the band and says, "You were awesome, guys and ! In fact, would you like to sign this contract with EMI for Europe?" Aelita ponders for a moment and says to him, "I would be delighted to if you can perform at 'Kadicspalooza', our school music festival, on Wednesday." Paul then replies, "I can't. I'm performing at Lollapalooza in Chicago on the same day." Aelita then thinks of the roster for Kadicspalooza:

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Ringo Starr, Blur, Graham Coxon, Kraftwerk, Peter Frampton, Anthrax, Weezer, Deep Purple, Iron Butterfly, The Pop-Rock Progressives, Madonna, Relient K, tobyMac, Kevin Max, She Wants Revenge, Dave Matthews Band, the school orchestra, Michael Jackson…

Aelita ponders on Michael Jackson for a while, since he is the unfair owner of the Beatles catalogue, since he bought it in 1985. He then used the song that the Pop-Rock Progressives played and licensed it to Nike for a commercial. Paul then said at a press release, "Songs like 'Revolution' don't mean a pair of sneakers. They mean 'revolution'." Also, since Michael Jackson has way too much on his back and that Apple Corps wants to own it since he charged the guys who made "I Am Sam" $100,000 a song, causing the filmmakers to make popular artists cover Beatles songs for the soundtrack.

Aelita then says to Paul, "Michael Jackson's performing, for some reason, at the festival and he has way too much on his back, like his many scandals and his theme park, Neverland. You can get the catalogue back from him." Paul then replies, "Alright, Aelita Hopper. I'll perform at your festival, but that old Renault factory, I'd like to see what's in it. It may be a super computer that leads you to some virtual world, but I may be wrong!" Aelita is freaking out as Paul somewhat knows about Lyoko and about her heritage. She then replies, "Okay. We can try to reunite the Beatles at the festival…or do a tribute band for the Fab Four. I, along with William Dunbar, am in it. Boy, William can sing like John. He can even do 'Kiss Kiss Kiss' with Yumi…" Paul gets sickened and says to her, "Please skip that part." Aelita says, "Done." Yumi walks over to Aelita and yells in her ear, "Why did you say that William and I are lovers? We're not!"

After Paul and Yoko left the house, Aelita, Odd, and Ulrich watched some television, which in fact was the movie "Imagine: The John Lennon Story". They ate some popcorn during the movie, but at the end of it, Graham came in the living room and says to them, "Please don't watch that movie, Aelita. It's 'R', so it's bad for you." She answers, "I've watched the Child's Play movies, Graham. I can't get scared at a scene depicting John Lennon losing his life and him posing for many pictures." He then says, "Do something else, like listen to my CDs" and turns on the stereo. He switches it over to "CD" and puts in Soundgarden's 1991 hit CD, "Badmotorfinger". He puts the CD on "Jesus Christ Pose" and he says, "Do you know what song that is and why people love it?" Odd says to him, "It's 'Jesus Christ Pose' by Soundgarden and the video accompanying it was banned from MTV due to vegetables, as in really lazy people, being crucified in the video. I've watched it on Yahoo! Launchcast." Graham replied to him, "That's actually right, Odd. Ulrich, guess what this song is" and puts the CD on "Outshined". Ulrich answers, "That's 'Outshined' and the video depicts, as Yumi would say, a really hot Chris Cornell. Can't you believe that she still has a crush on him?"

Graham replies to him, "You're right, Ulrich. How do you boys know that?" Odd says to him, "We listen to the alternative sound of the 1990s. I even have all of Jawbox's and the Flaming Lips' CDs. I bet Aelita doesn't know this song" and grabs the remote from Graham. He puts the CD on "Rusty Cage" and Aelita replies to Odd, "It's 'Rusty Cage' by Soundgarden and it's one of their best tracks. It's was even featured in a video game that had it's share of controversy over the past month or so." (Hot Coffee comes into mind here.) She gets up and switches the CD from "Badmotorfinger" to Lynyrd Skynyrd's 1973 smash hit, "Second Helping". She turns the track to "Sweet Home Alabama" and says to the boys, "Do you know this song?" Odd replies, "It's that 'Sweet Home Alabama'. It made me think what Southerners look like. They are gentlemen who despise Neil Young. That's why Jeremy hates the song." Aelita says to the boys, "I'm going to ride on down to the Rack Room on Highway 441 and get me some summer shoes and nail polish" and walks out the door. She gets into the Taurus and drives to the aforementioned place.

An hour later, she goes back inside the house in pink flip-flops on and a Burger King bag in her hand. She also has pink nail polish on her nails. She sits down on the couch and turns on the TV. She connects Odd's camera to the TV and starts playing all of his short films, home movies, and random pieces of crap. Odd and Ulrich come in shirtless, as they were working out in Graham's room, lifting weights, and sit on the couch. Odd says to Aelita, "Why'd you connect my video camera to the TV…oh" and starts watching his short films, currently on "I Think Our Guest Is A Ghost".

Later that day, Graham comes to the gang, currently on the couch, and says to them, "Come on. We're going to Pacino's Italian Grill. Please get some clean clothes on." They get up from the couch and head to their rooms. In Aelita's room, she puts on a shirt that says, 'Tough guys wear pink', some socks, and her skate shoes. Jeremy dresses in a blue t-shirt, blue jeans, and his shoes. He also grabs out a vase of flowers and a box of chocolates from a shopping bag. He says to Aelita, "Will you forgive me?" Aelita replies, "No, Jeremy. I will never forgive you. You screwed up big time." He then dons on a tuxedo and a jazz band appears behind him. He then sings into the microphone:

"_Aelita, don't be blue._

_Will you ever forgive me?_

_I love you all the time!_

_I'm your freer!_

_I saved you from that hell!_

_I stopped when you kissed me!_

_I love you all the time!_

_I'm your freer!"_

In the other rooms, they really don't like the song, as Jeremy is a very bad singer. Ulrich's eyes pop out of their sockets. Odd says to him, "Jamie Foxx, will you play a Ray Charles song for us?" Ulrich replies, "Okay, Odd, but call me Ulrich Stern, not Lars or Jamie Foxx!" and dons on a pair of sunglasses. He sits down at his electric keyboards and starts playing "What'd I Say" by Ray Charles. Of course, it drones over Jeremy's singing and everybody, except for Aelita, who's chained to the bed, starts singing to the refrain, which consists of two words: "Hey! Ho!"

Meanwhile, in Aelita's room, after a 9-minute trumpet solo, Jeremy finishes the song with 5 screams of "I'M YOUR FREER!!!" and sits down next to her as the jazz band collapses and the men in white coats take them back to the insane asylum. He then says, "So, Aelita, how was my apology to you…in song?" Aelita replies, "It was…AWFUL!!!! However, it did have a good point. Apology accepted" and Jeremy unchains her. They go to the living room, where Ulrich's finishing the last of his Ray Charles cover. At the end, his face falls flat on the keyboards and he collapses onto the floor. Odd puts his eyeballs back in and says to Jeremy and Aelita, "He just sang some Ray Charles song. He also acted like a box of Honey Comb for some reason and supposedly felt water on his keyboard." Jeremy gets excited due to the Honey Comb mention and he turns into one of those Cravers, tearing up the walls and completely dismantles the ceiling fan. He turns back into regular Jeremy Belpois and says to the gang, who are really angry, "I'm so sorry. I just love that cereal. I crave it!" Graham comes in and looks at the damage that Jeremy did. He yells to him, "JEREMY, WHAT IN THE HELL DID YOU DO?" Jeremy replies to him, "I became Craver and tore up the walls, trying to find Honey Comb." Graham then says to him, "You owe me $1,000 in damages!" Aelita then hands Graham $1,000. He then says to her, "What did you do to get that?" She then replies to him, "I got it as money from Paul and Yoko. They gave me it so we can record an album for them."

After that, they got into the Focus and drove all the way to Orlando's popular establishment (to some of my relatives), Pacino's Italian Grill. There, they wait 10 minutes for a table and sit at a table on the second floor. Across from them are 2 of the members of Relient K, Matt Thiessen and Matt Hoopes. Of course, as Yumi, in many fanfictions, is a fan of pop punk and Top 40, so she screams out to them, "THIESSEN! HOOPES! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!" Thiessen replies, "We know. We have 15-year-old Japanese yell at us before." Aelita says to Matt Thiessen, "Even though I'm into classic rock, progressive rock, and alternative rock, I'm also into you guys. I even have your new CD!" Thiessen replies to her, "Okay, but Rush said they were with the devil one time." Aelita says to him, "It was just a crazy backmasking. It isn't true, as Geddy is Jewish."

After dinner, they packed all of their stuff and waved Graham goodbye as they went into a taxi towards Orlando International Airport. They got on the flight heading to Paris, France, and flew towards there. In the city, they get into a van, which was William Dunbar's. He said to the gang, "Hey, guys! Put your stuff in the back!" and they did as what he said. They get into the van and rode all of the way to Kadics Junior High School while Yumi was gazing at her autograph from Matt Thiessen and Matt Hoopes. She says to William, "I got an autograph from Relient K, William! I love those guys!" He replies, not listening to her, "I heard, Yumi. Now let's play some of my music!" and puts the radio on CD, where it is playing Weezer's 1994 self-titled debut. All of the gang, except for Yumi, rock out to it.

END OF CHAPTER 8


	9. Your Father's Not Back Yet

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 9

"This is Ray Charles and the Fantastic Seventy-Four playing their fantastic song: Chapter 9!" –Jon Lupus 

At the college, the gang unloads the car and go to their respected rooms, with Yumi going to her house. Aelita grabs her guitar case and her amps and heads to her room. There, she plugs her iPod in the charger, sets the guitar case and amps on the bed, and opens the guitar case. She grabs out her 1993 Fender Stratocaster, maple colored, whammy bar and wah-wah pedal included, and a note on it saying, "This guitar belongs to Aelita, so don't hand it to someone…especially Taelia, that orphan girl". She then grabs her guitar pick and starts playing a song on it. She then sings the lyrics to it and after she gets done, she grabs her cell phone and dials Yumi's number.

Meanwhile, at the Ishiyama household, Yumi's parents are arguing with her on why she was "missing", even though she left a note on the counter saying that she was going to be gone for a few days. Her dad says to her, "YUMI, WHY DID YOU LEAVE US?" Yumi then replies, "I needed a vacation…without your gift from heaven following me everywhere I go. You see, ever since Hiroki was born, you've been arguing to me about why I shouldn't do this, why you shouldn't play Joe Walsh around Hiroki and his friend Johnny, and you fight every frigging day about why you don't like your point of views! Why do you do this? Why do you want me to stay here, slowly turning into a freakin' emo person and very suicidal?" She then cries. She falls down onto the floor into a fetal position and tries to rock herself to calm down. Yumi's mom says to her, very calmly, "We want you to be safe. We know you're 15, but we still look after you. We fight because our views collide…we did this before Hiroki was born, Yumi." Yumi dries up and says to her mom, "Thanks, Mommy." She then hugs her.

At the same time, Aelita enters the house, wondering why Yumi wasn't answering her cell phone, and sees Yumi hugging her mom. Her mouth widens as she thinks to herself, "I want to hug my mommy!" She walks into the living room and sits on the loveseat. She then cries to herself, as she wants to hug her mom. She then announces to Yumi, "I want my mommy back! I want to hug her!" Yumi then walks to her and hugs her. Aelita then says to her, "Thanks, Mommy. Thanks for hugging me…now, I'm happy" and walks out of the house with Yumi. Yumi's mom says to her husband, "Does that hoser have a mom? If so, I need to contact her…or maybe not."

The two girls go inside Aelita's dorm. Meanwhile, outside the school grounds, Sissi and Jean-Pierre Delmas are taking a walk when, suddenly, a limo tries to drive into the gates. They get in front of the car, trying to stop it, yet it swerves away from them and crashes into the gates. Sissi runs to the limo and she opens the door. Inside, Paul, Yoko, and Ringo are unbuckling their seat belts and climbing out of the limousine. Sissi says to them, "What are you here for?" Paul then replies, "To meet Aelita…why?" Sissi then yells to them, "You don't tell me what to do! I'm strictly anti-Beatles-and-Beatles-related-artists! I'm even on the side of the evil, that Chapman dude!" Paul then yells back, "DON'T DO THAT!!!" and holds her onto the hood of the limo. He then spanks her so hard that she is bleeding from her buttocks. After that, she runs off crying and Jean-Pierre says to him, "Don't hurt me, Paul!" Paul then says to him, "I'm not going to hurt you. Ringo and I are going to perform at Kadicspalooza and Yoko's going to be music teacher. She doesn't know only avant-garde. She knows every genre of music." The principal replies, "Okay, Paul. We'll do that, but to make it work…" Paul then hands him an autographed copy of the White Album. The principal replies, "How did you know I wanted this? Thanks, Paul!" The (remaining) Beatles head on to Aelita's room.

Inside her room, she is playing her guitar when, out of nowhere, a knock is heard on the door. She opens it to see Paul, Ringo, and Yoko. She then says to them, "Hey, remaining Beatles. How's it going?" Ringo says, "Good. Is there anything to drink here? All I've got is ketchup!" and gets out a bottle of ketchup from Paul's bass guitar case. She says to them, "There's a vending concourse right outside of my room. Let me show you the way" and walks, with the band, following her. She then puts a Euro into a Pepsi machine and presses the button for a Dr. Pepper. A Dr. Pepper comes out of the machine. She starts drinking it and says to Paul, "Go ahead. Pick your choice." He then puts a Euro into the machine and presses the water button. A water bottle comes out of the machine. Yoko heads to the machine and presses the iced tea button. An iced tea comes out of the machine. Ringo heads to the machine and presses the Mountain Dew button. A Mountain Dew comes out of the machine.

At the same time that product placement scene was going on, Jeremy was in his room, trying to tweak on Lyoko when he got yet another coded message from Franz Hopper. He then yells out loud, "Franz Hopper is on Lyoko and alive!!" and runs towards the celebrities and Aelita, at the vending concourses. He then says to them, "Franz Hopper is alive!! Come with me!" and they follow him to the factory. In the factory, they go down the service elevator, currently playing Steely Dan music, and go to the computer room. In there, Jeremy shows them the whereabouts of Franz Hopper and says to them, "People, promise me you'll keep a secret…except for Aelita, who's kept the secret for 10 friggin' years. Alright, now go into the scanners!" They head to the scanner room, where Paul, Yoko, and Ringo go in first, and then Aelita goes in.

If you're wondering why Odd, Yumi, and Ulrich aren't here, let me, the guy who's writing the story, tell you why through a little anecdote. Meanwhile, Jeremy was trying to call Odd, but he turned off his cell phone, as he didn't want any noise interfering with his bass guitar. You see, he was in his room, practicing his bass and trying to play a Primus song (those songs are hard to play on regular 4-string bass), so he didn't want any outside noise interfering with his practice. Ulrich, however, was helping the workers at the Royal Mann and Gecze Hall set up the stage for Kadicspalooza. Of course, Neil Young was helping, yet he had to urge to go to the doctor for a checkup. Ulrich didn't mind; he was doing his job. Yumi was in her room, being comforted by Yumi's mom on why they fight about everyday.

Meanwhile, in Lyoko, the remaining Beatles, Yoko, and Aelita fall down onto the floor of the ice sector. Paul's Lyoko outfit is a TRON-esque jumpsuit with blue and red stripes all over it, representing the British flag. Ringo's Lyoko outfit is his Sgt. Pepper's outfit, yet it is modified to have a weapon holder and he has a skullcap on. Yoko's Lyoko outfit is similar to Yumi's, but it is all black and she has one of those poet hats on her head. Paul then says to Aelita, "This is an awesome place, Aelita. Where can we find your dad?" Aelita then runs towards the edge of the sector. The others follow her. The Transport Orb appears and drops them off in Carthage.

There, Aelita runs towards the key and activates it. The others follow her to a skyscraper-looking thing in the distance. They go inside and are reverted back to their Earth forms, yet they are still in Carthage. Inside the building, there is a long room with Franz Hopper at the end. They run to him, yet he says, "STOP! I want my daughter!" Aelita walks towards him and says, "Hey, Daddy." He then yells, "CHRIST, OUR VICTORY!" and the area reverts to Carthage. The monsters come out of nowhere and attack the remaining Beatles, Yoko, and Aelita. The Franz clone morphs into a copy of Chris Ballew of some band that was popular thanks to a song that was parodied to be a song about Forrest Gump. He says, "I'll kill you all!" and then stretches his arms to fit around Aelita. He then starts to possess her. After that, she falls down on the ground, her eyes showing the eye of XANA. She then says to the others, "Excuse me while I go kill you all and make everybody happy!" Paul then grabs his laser gun and shoots it at Aelita, devirtualizing her completely and making her possessed no more. After that, the others get devirtualized thanks to the blows they're getting from the monsters.

In the supercomputer room, all of them meet and say to Jeremy, "YOU TOLD US A LIE!" Aelita then falls down onto the floor, starting to cry like a little girl. Jeremy then says, "I'm sorry it was XANA, Aelita. We'll try next time." Aelita then yells, "THERE'S NO NEXT TIME, JEREMY! DON'T YOU GET IT? MY DAD'S DEAD! HE'S GONE! HE'S IN HEAVEN!!!" and then runs off towards the dorms. On the way, she took off her footwear and ran on the pavement to take the pain out of her. It ends up making her have more pain. She then goes into her room and locks the door. She then cries so loud that the upstairs/boys' dorms could hear her. She then bangs her head on the door and flops down on the bed. She then yells, "MY DAD'S DEAD!!! I WANNA DIE!!" and cuts herself. Fortunately, Jeremy got into the room via a spare key and sees her cutting herself. He then says to her, "Don't overreact about your dad, Aelita. He's in many parts of Lyoko now. Why are you believing that he's dead?" She then says to him, "He sacrificed his life for me, Jeremy. He's probably scatted all over the place, but why did I have to be Aelita Hopper? Why couldn't I be Yoko? Why couldn't I be George Harrison? Why couldn't I be Ray Charles and see his brother in many various places while doing drugs?" Jeremy then says to him, "God made you this way, Aelita. He made you Aelita Hopper and nothing's gonna stop that."

She then puts on her pink flip-flops, as she burnt her soles again, and walks out of the room with Jeremy, talking about her dad. After that, they stop by his room and see a birthday cake for her. He then says, "Happy birthday, Aelita. I even got you something." She then hugs him and says, "Thanks, Jeremy!" She sees a present on the bed and opens it. It is an iPod. She says to him, "I don't know how you knew I wanted this, but thank you, Jeremy!" She then kisses him on the lips and he freezes as she goes out with the cake and the iPod. She walks back to her room and plugs the iPod into her computer. She loads it up and starts eating the cake on her bed. She then sees the other iPod on the desk and says, "How ironic."

Later on, after the others were done doing their things, except for Odd, they go into Aelita's room with presents that they're giving to her. Ulrich says to her, "Aelita, happy belated birthday" and gives her his present. She opens it to see that it is a Gibson Les Paul, baritone version, with 20 guitar picks, a talkbox, and a reverb pedal. She then says to him very happily, "Thanks for the guitar, Ulrich. I always wanted one of those guitars." Ulrich then says to her, "That's not all, Aelita. I even got you a…" She then finds an iTunes gift card taped onto the neck of the guitar and says to him, "…Gift card from iTunes taped to the neck of the guitar. It'll ruin the tuning, yet it's okay with me. Want me to show you the guitars I have?" He then replies, "Yeah, Aelita. Let me see them." She gets up and opens her closet to let everybody in her room see all the guitars and bass guitars she has. She grabs a double-necked guitar identical to Jimmy Page's model and says to them, "This is a replica of the double-necked guitar that Jimmy Page used with his band, Led Zeppelin. Wanna let me show you how I can play it?" All of them say to her, "YEAH!" She then starts to play the first bars of the solo of "Stairway to Heaven", yet Jeremy stops her and points to the "No Stairway to Heaven" sign on the wall. She says to him, "I know that the song won't be played thanks to Robert Plant and Jimmy Page being selfish brats and self-centered people about their music, but I really got that at a Wayne's World prop auction, along with a statue of that Indian and the car that they used in the Thelma and Louise parody."

She then grabs out another guitar, the Roland guitar synthesizer that Pat Meheny used. She says to the people, "This is a guitar synthesizer. It doesn't work, but it plays regular guitar fine." She grabs out the last guitar, a replica of Tom Morello's "Arm The Homeless" guitar, and says to them, "This is a replica of Tom Morello's guitar that he uses extensively on the Rage Against the Machine album "Evil Empire". I don't play it because the only way it'll work like he does it is that you have to literally control the kill switch at the same time you're strumming the strings." She closes the closet and says to Ulrich, "So, Ulrich, how did you like my guitars?" He then says to her, "They're awesome, Aelita…now can we go back to the presents?" Ulrich backs up and Yumi walks to Aelita with her present. The pink-haired girl opens it to reveal a PlayStation Portable. Yumi says to her, "It plays games and mp3s!" Aelita says to her, "Thank you…Yumi?" and puts up the PSP up. Jeremy then says to her, "Well, since we are celebrating your birthday a little too late, I guess we can pick up Odd, since he's out of his room and at his house, and take all of us to Pizza Hut!" She then puts on her socks and her shoes and says to them, "Follow me to the car."

She then walks to Odd's room, where he is still playing his bass Kraftwerk-style. Suddenly, Aelita knocks on the door and Odd stops playing his bass. He opens it and sees her and the others, dressed up in regular clothes, ready to go to Pizza Hut. He yells, "DON'T INTERRUPT MY PRACTICE!!! IT'S 1 IN THE AFTERNOON!" Jeremy says to him, "No, Odd. It's 6 in the evening." Odd looks at Jeremy's watch and sees that it is 6 in the afternoon. He then says, "I practiced a little too long, didn't I?" Aelita says to him, very sternly, "Yes, you did. You even forgot to get me a freakin' present! Oh, get some clean clothes on. We're going to Pizza Hut." He closes the door, and a second later, he comes out with a purple t-shirt, blue jeans, and his shoes on. He says, "I'm ready, guys" and they walk to Aelita's other car, a 2004 Mercedes-Benz S-Class (the same one destroyed by the giant teddy bear). They hop in, with Aelita on the driver's side, and they ride to the downtown section of Paris, since the Toadies closed the Pizza Hut in Bologune-Billancourt due to a private performance.

In Paris, they're right near the Eiffel Tower, but they drive past it and the Moonscoop Studios, where Sharon, Matt, David, and Jodi are getting out after a hard day's work redubbing cartoons and heading to Pizza Hut in a 2006 BMW 580i. Aelita doesn't notice; she follows them to the Pizza Hut and parks in a parking space. They get out and walk inside the restaurant. There, they pay for the buffet and get a glass of Pepsi each. Suddenly, the voice actors sit next to them and get their pizza and Pepsi. Aelita says to them, "Hey, guys! I like your voice acting in that Bill Plympton film, 'Kanye West Really Loves Ray Charles'! Matt did an especially good job on Ray's voice!" Sharon walks over to her and says, "Thanks, girl. Actually, we do another show. Of course, Matt and I voiced in that Bill Plympton movie, but David was in that Matt Damon movie. I remember him telling me that all Matt Damon said was, 'Don't listen to him! He's drunk on cheese!'" David says to her, "Actually, he said, 'MATT DAMON!!!' a lot. Of course, Team America got him due to his connections to the Film Actors Guild. You don't want to know what the initials stand for!" Aelita then says to him, "Okay, David. I wonder what other famous person is going to walk in here." Suddenly, Sean Demery, a former 99x DJ, Rob Jenners, a Florida DJ, and Fred Toucher, a 99x DJ, walk into the restaurant and sit next to the voice actors. Fred says to Aelita, "Hey, girl! I'm the holy diver! I've been gone too long in the midnight sea! I don't know the rest of the words to this song!"

Aelita replies to him, "Fred Toucher, I've heard you before. You're funny on that morning show on that station! I've listened to you over the Internet, thanks to some requests by spammers named Bert, Steve, Vicki, Will Pendavaris, Jimmy Baron, Steve Barnes, and some certain DJ named Axel Lowe." Fred says to her, "You've listened to 99x? How? How can you? You're in France!" She says to him, "I said, many spammers saying that they are radio DJs sent me e-mails talking about 99x!" Fred walks to her and says, "Oh, now I see. I need to tell Leslie Fram about it." She then replies, "I forgot about her!"

After dinner, the Lyoko gang got into Aelita's Mercedes-Benz and drove towards the Eiffel Tower, where they took some pictures there while Odd went to Virgin Megastore to get Aelita a present. He comes back with a CD of Rush's greatest hits. She grabs it and says to him, "Thanks for the late present, Odd…waaait…how can you eat so much yet stay so skinny?" Odd then yells in excitement, "METABOLISM IN THE HOUSE, YEAH! I ALSO EXERCISE IN THE WEIGHT ROOM, BABY!" and kisses her on the lips. Jeremy slaps him on the face and says to him, "Odd! Don't kiss her! I already took her!" Odd then says, "She's currently undecided, Jeremy. She doesn't know who to date yet."

END OF CHAPTER 9


	10. The Concert

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 10

"I don't wanna go to work! I wanna drive in my Winnebago! I don't wanna get a job! I wanna drive in my Winnebago!"

**-That Guy In Everclear**

Jeremy was shocked. He had thought that Aelita had liked him ever since he found out about her in 2003, when he turned on the supercomputer to test it out (and to steal parts so he can make a robot). He then says to Aelita, who's sitting on the ground, looking at the Eiffel Tower's beauty, "Aelita, is it true that you're undecided about who you love?" She then replies to Jeremy, "Yes, it is true, Jeremy. I am undecided who to date yet." Jeremy's face gets red and says to her, "WE'RE THROUGH, AELITA!!! I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!!" She starts tearing up and runs to the car, where she strips down to her undergarments (her bra and underwear are still on, if you think I'm crazy) and whips herself on the back with a rope. She then says to herself, "Am I supposed to do this? I'm not in Opus Dei" and puts back on her clothes. Jeremy gets in and slaps her in the face. He then yells, "YOU'RE UNDECIDED ON WHO YOU LOVE? WHY, AELITA, WHY?"

The next morning, Aelita gets up from her bed, looking very sad, as Jeremy dissed her the previous night. She gets on a pink hoodie, blue jeans, socks, and her shoes, and walks in a sluggish manner to Jeremy's room. She opens the door and sees him looking at the root directory of the supercomputer, since he has access to it from his computer. She says to him lividly, "Jeremy, why did you diss me last night? You said that you and I were to be together forever!" Jeremy then replies to her, "That was just a gut reaction, Aelita. I was just a bit shocked about how you're undecided on whom to date yet. I still love you though. I fact, do you think that you slept for a full ten years in Lyoko?" Aelita replies, "Yes, Jeremy. I do think that." He then clicks on the files on the root directory for June 6, 1994, and says to her, "You may be shocked, Aelita." He then plays it:

_Franz Hopper was in the desert, talking to XANA about the company, until he then says to him, "Buddy, I have to check on Aelita." XANA then replies, "Okay, but hurry back." Franz runs to Aelita, who's still running laps around the tower where she lost her memories. He says to her, "Do you remember me?" Aelita stops and goes to him. She touches him and says to him, "LOAD UP YOUR GUNS!!" He grabs her and yells, "DO YOU REMEMBER ME, AELITA MELENIE HOPPER!!!" She then says in a normal tone, "No…who are you? Who am I? Where am I?" and runs off to another tower. Franz follows her to the tower, where she is pressing random buttons on the interface. He stops her and he shuts off the supercomputer. Before he does, he says to her, "Don't EVER forget about me!!"_

As the file ends, Aelita is literally crying at the film. She then runs out of the room and heads, along with her Gibson Les Paul Baritone model, her Marshall amps, and her cables, to the Royal Mann and Gecze Hall, where the Arctic Monkeys are playing "Fake Tales of San Francisco" to a crowd of many people. She then thinks, "I never got to rave" and walks to the backstage area, where Rush is setting up for their live set. She sits down next to Neil, who's air drumming to his song "Limelight". He sees Aelita next to him and says to her, "Hey, Aelita. What are you gonna do?" She then replies, "Die, Neil. I'm way too sad to live this life." Neil then says to her, "Don't kill yourself about something sad, Aelita! You must carpe diem! You must carpe diem! You must seize the day!" Aelita gets a smile on her face and says, "I'll carpe diem!" She then hugs him so hard that his ribs break.

At Yumi's house, she gets up and finds the Who next to her bed. She drags them out of the house and runs to the Royal Mann and Gecze Hall, where she finds Rush playing the entirety of "2112" and Aelita, backstage, playing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" on her guitar, with tears streaming down her face. Yumi says to her, "What's wrong, Aelita?" Aelita replies, "Well, if you found out that your dad wanted you to remember him before he shut off the computer and that you wanna die just because your boyfriend had a gut reaction, you'd be sad, but since Neil told me to carpe diem, I'm happy, Yumi." She puts up the guitar and hugs her like k.d. Lang does to her girlfriends. Unfortunately, Odd and Nicholas come in and see them. Nicholas says to him, "Are they gay or do they like each other?" Odd replies, "They love each other, as in friends, not as in wife and wife. They even went to a Supertramp concert together, but the next morning, they sang 'Gone Hollywood' over the intercom. We made fun of them that day. Hey, would you like to join our group?" Nicholas says to Odd, "I can't, Odd. Sissi wants me to stay in my group or she'll make Herve make a killer to kill me. Well, due to Sissi's request, I have to give this to you" and hands Odd a 6-stringed Carl Thompson fretless bass with mahogany, oak, and pine strips all over it. In reality, it is a replica of the Les Claypool Rainbow Bass.

Odd says to Nicholas, "Thanks, Nick!" and starts playing it. Nicholas watches him. He then sees Odd play the Wild Cherry hit, "Play That Funky Music", with his teeth, and the notes to "Heart-Shaped Box" behind his back. Finally, Nicholas says to Odd, "You play pretty good, Odd. You're like the Jimi Hendrix of guitar. Can you play it slap and pop style?" Odd then plays a distinctive bass line from "Jerry Was A Race Car Driver" using the slap and pop technique. He says, "I practice my bass for 5 hours, then I do my homework." Nicholas says, "I can do many Neil Peart drum solos and that Ron Bushy drum solo on that song with the drunk guy by Iron Butterfly. I remember it lasts a long time, though."

Finally, Rush goes backstage after their live set was done and says to the Pop-Rock Progressives, "You're up now." The band come onto the stage and set up their instruments. Finally, the Three Stooges theme plays from the speakers. Aelita says to the soundboard guys, "That's Rush." They switch tracks to the Mary Tyler Moore Show theme. Aelita says, "That's Relient K." The soundboard guys switch tracks to "Serve The Servants" by Nirvana. Aelita gives 2 thumbs up, her symbol for "That's alright, men." The band goes to the front of the stage and the announcer says, "Welcome, Bologune-Billancourt! This is the talk of the hour! The butter on the bread! The place you'll be! This is…THE POP-ROCK PROGRESSIVES!!!" Aelita walks to her spot, marked by a Kraftwerk-esque sign saying "Aelita", and says to the audience, "Hey, guys! This is our song, 'Born to Be Runner-Up'!!!" The band starts playing a simple tune, with Odd playing an intro to the song with his teeth, Ulrich playing a riff similar to the refrain of "Little Queen" by Heart, Nicholas drumming in a style similar to Matt Cameron and Neil Peart, and Aelita playing a variation of Ulrich's riff. Finally, she sings into the microphone:

"_If you can't win some crap,_

_Maybe you can't even talk slack!_

_Maybe, you meant to be born to be runner-up,_

_Because your mom drinks out of that sippy cup!_

_We would like to sing like Fugazi, but they don't riff it finger lickin'!_

_You're born to be runner-up…KICK IT!!!"_

The band starts playing in a punk/thrash/alternative style. Ulrich gets on top of his amplifiers and plays a guitar solo. Odd stage dives in front of fans that are parting like the Red Sea. He lands on the ground and Jim lifts him up to the stage. Odd wobbles back to his spot. Aelita shakes her head to mess up her hair. The fans start throwing mud at them and they get drenched in mud. Finally, Aelita sings:

"_You're born to be runner-up!_

_You're born to be runner-up!_

_You know Steppenwolf can't rock out like us!_

_We used to have an Apple 2e!_

_You're born to be runner-up, see?"_

Aelita puts her hoodie over her head and starts playing a guitar solo using the wah-wah pedal and the talkbox. Ulrich jumps off of the amplifiers and lights his guitar on fire while playing a Ray Charles song. Odd gets covered in more mud and rips his shirts off. He then writes on his chest in Sharpie, "PMRC" the same word (or not) that Rage Against The Machine did at Lollapalooza '93. He puts duct tape over his mouth. Ulrich's fiery guitar puts on the sprinklers, making Ulrich's guitar be put out. After Aelita gets done with the solo, she smashes her guitar onto the guitar and yells, "Sic semper tyrannus!" She grabs Billie Joe Armstrong's guitar and smashes it. She does the same for Eric Clapton's, Alex Lifeson's, Tom DeLonge's, Slash's, Joe Perry's, Joe Satriani's, Tom Petty's, Bob Dylan's, and Jeff Lynne's guitars. She then grabs her Stratocaster and starts playing it. She sings:

"_I smash a lot of guitars._

_I eat many granola bars._

_I hate the stars!_

_I drive Tracy Chapman's cars,_

'_Cause I'm born to be runner-up,_

_And I drink out of a sippy cup!"_

Ulrich goes to Axl Rose's piano and starts playing it. Nicholas starts drumming heavily that the tenor drum breaks in half.

"_Born to be runner-up!_

_Born to be runner-up!_

_I drink from a sippy cup!_

_You like to say, 'Sup…_

_YOU SUCK!!"_

Ulrich pushes Axl's piano into the mosh pit and pushes Elton John's solid gold piano into the crowd. Aelita puts up her guitar and grabs Ulrich's Yamaha keyboards. She smashes it. Ulrich puts his guitar on fire again and throws it into his amplifiers, causing them to explode and shoot out shrapnel everywhere. Odd plays a very low note on his bass and then unplugs it, causing the amplifiers to explode. Nicholas stabs his drumsticks into the bass drum and throws it into the crowd. Meanwhile, some of the fiery shrapnel lands on Aelita's hoodie and she tries "stop, drop, and roll", yet she takes it off and shows her white bra to everyone. She grabs another shirt and puts it on. She unties her shoes and takes them off, throwing them into the audience. Odd puts his hair into the fire and runs around with his hair burning. Aelita grabs a pair of scissors from her pocket and cuts open her socks. She slips them off and throws them into the audience. Finally, after the band caused so much damage than at Woodstock '94 or Woodstock '99 combined, the band stage dives into the crowd. The crowd takes them to a set of park benches, where they sit down.

It was a warm day and if Aelita pulled a Paul McCartney-on-Abbey-Road, something bad would happen. Fortunately, she had her backpack and she opened it to get out a pair of black skate shoes and a pair of clean socks. She put them on and walked, along with the band, to the other festivities there, including a taste test of the food from King Arthur's Pizza Palace, Danish Elves' Hot Chocolate Café, and Long John Silver's.

Meanwhile, t dressed in all black run into the factory and go into the elevator. They press the button. The elevator won't budge. They go to the service elevator and type in "Underwood". They get in and ride all the way to the computer room, where they eject the disc for XANA and put in the disc for a killer. They materialize him and go to the scanner room, where he is standing there with his eyes glowing red. He says, "Hello, Daniel and Peter. I wanted to meet you. I know where Aelita Hopper is."

At Kadicspalooza, Aelita is watching a little known man, Taylor Hicks, sing with the Flaming Lips on their song, "She Don't Use Jelly", until Jeremy runs to her and says, "Aelita, I need you. I think you freak out some backmaskers." She follows him to backstage, where 2 men that enjoy reversing music are there, listening to the Pop-Rock Progressives' live set. One of them says to her, "Are you virtual?" Aelita replies, "Just a coincidence, mister." Suddenly, Daniel goes to her and says, "Hey, best friend Aelita. How's it going?" Aelita replies, "Good, Dan. How's the record business going for you?"

He then punches her in the face, making her black out.

END OF CHAPTER 10


	11. The Revenge of Daniel

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 11

Disclaimer: One scene in this chapter shows Sissi being angry with Aelita due to race. Don't take it for granted. I am not anti-Semitic or in the National Socialist Workers Party. I don't want the Holocaust to happen again. It's just to show you how bad Sissi's insults to Aelita may get in the fourth season, even though we're in the 3rd season timeline now. If any Jewish user gets angry, I apologize to them, but please don't flame me and call me "Mel Gibson" or "Adolph Hitler".

"Why don't we play checkers in the road? Why don't we play checkers in the road? Why don't we play checkers in the road? No one will be cheatin' on us! Why don't we play checkers in the road?"

**-A person**

_In Aelita's subconscious, she is in a yoga house, meditating to the sound of the Beatles' "White Album", until a meteor hits the house. She runs out and lands into a meadow full of animals and other stuff._

She wakes up in the factory in a chair and being tickled by feathers around her weak spots. Suddenly, it stops and she gets up from the chair. She walks over to Daniel, who's controlling the tickling machine, and says to him, "Why are you doing this to me, old friend?" Daniel gets up from his seat and says, "I admit it, Hopper! I am EVIL! I just want you dead so we can profit on your dad! We know where he is! In fact, we want to restart a famous party to kill your race!" Aelita punches him in the face and yells, "NO ONE DESTROYS MY RACE!! NO ONE!" Dan gets up and straps Aelita into the chair. He then puts on a suit of armor and a shot of acid. He then pushes the acid into Aelita and she falls into a coma…

_She wakes up in an Emo Kids Massage Place and Salon and sees her name being said by the workers. She gets up and walks to the end of the hall, where a man in a uniform is sitting down and says, "FREE FOOT MASSAGES!!" Aelita, as naïve as she was back then, walks into the room and sits on the chair. The worker says to her, "Hello and welcome to the salon. Are you here for a free foot massage?" Aelita replies, "Yeah. My name is Aelita Melanie Hopper. What's yours?" The worker replies, "I'm Turpentine, but for you not to laugh while saying my name as it means 'paint thinner', call me Robert Ritchie." Aelita then utters to him, "Okay, Kid Rock. Can you autograph my copy of 'Devil Without A Cause'?" His face turns red in anger and he yells to her, "I'm not Kid Rock! I'm not even related to him, but I did come from the same city he did, Romeo, Michigan!"_

_He then calms down and pours water all over his face. He then sits back on his chair and says to her, "Aelita, do you want your foot massage now?" Aelita unties her shoes and takes them off, setting them next to the chair. She says, "You can do it." Turpentine replies to her, "No, no, no, Aelita. I need your socks off." Aelita takes off her socks and puts them in his lap. He starts rubbing them and then, out of nowhere, starts tickling them. Aelita falls onto the floor, laughing like a hyena, and yelling, "STOP IT, STOP IT!!" She sees Turpentine tickling her and instantly kicks him in the shin, making him unconscious. She puts back on her socks and her shoes and runs towards the exit. Turpentine regains consciousness and runs towards her. He almost catches her, yet she opens the door and exits the place, instantly waking her up…_

Aelita wakes up in the chair, seeing Dan tickling her. She says to him, "I know what you're doing, you idiot!" and kicks him in the face. She breaks free of the restraints (which were really crappy ones) and heads to the McDonald's-esque sneaker storage. She grabs her shoes and puts back on her socks and shoes. She ties them and runs towards the Royal Mann and Gecze Hall, where the killer is throwing stuffed bears at William and Sissi. She ignores them and heads to the dorm, which has been damaged. She goes into her room, where the others where hiding in her closet of many famous guitars. She opens it up and grabs a derringer. Meanwhile, Dan and the killer (let's just call him Frank) are outside the dorm, where Jim tries to block them. He says, "I restrict access to killers!" Daniel replies, "We're not killers. We just want to get rid of the Canadian Crown Royal" and shoots Jim in the head, killing him instantly. The men go inside. Aelita runs out of her room and aims the derringer at Daniel. She yells, "Drop your gun! You have the right to remain silent!" Daniel shoots her with rubber bullets and they push her to the floor. Daniel walks over to her and says with a smirk on his face, "Do you know why I want to get rid of you? You were more popular at school! Your dad was the owner of the biggest company before Ripley's came into Gatlinburg! In fact, no one was your friend! You were just a girl that stayed in her room, playing Lenny Kravitz's 'Let Love Rule' all the time, annoying her dad!"

Aelita replies, "It was Rush I was in love with, Daniel" and yells to the world, "CHRIST, OUR VICTORY!" Suddenly, Paul and Ringo come out of Sissi's room and start hitting Dan and Frank with crowbars. Paul says to Daniel, "Your momma's so dumb, she don't know who Badfinger is! You get what you deserve! Another obituary line I can't think of!" Daniel's eyes turn red due to the excess of blood and he says to Aelita, "Mel Brooks will be my mother if I die…" Aelita replies, "Your mother was the Mother Duncantini of the British Mafia, Daniel Ravioli Duncantini! Now meet your maker, who's angry at you for trying to murder and lying for 15 years!" Daniel's hand tries to do the middle finger gesture, yet he can only raise his thumb up and he dies, his mouth overpouring of digested food. Aelita kicks him repeatedly to check if he died. She stops and her eyes start watering up. She breaks in and cries over his dead body. She yells to him, "DANIEL, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE EVIL? I TRUSTED YOU! I TRUSTED YOU! YOU TRUSTED ME!" Paul walks over to her and says, "He was evil, Aelita. In fact, I'll treat you to dinner since you actually liked him." Aelita stops crying and says to Paul, "Okay, Paul."

After that, at 6 in the evening, the police arrive at the scene and see Jean-Pierre and a traumatized Sissi at the gates. The officer says to him, "Mr. Delmas, we got a call about 2 men killing people here…or trying to kill a student of yours just because she was a Jew. We can charge them for genocide." He walks into the gates and sees William on the ground, hugging the stuffed bears. He says, "Stuffy, stuffy, fuzzy, wuzzy, big and buzzy! Fizzy, fuzzy, big, and buzzy!" The police officer replies to him, "Why are you speaking gibberish and what appears to be the title of the Refreshments' first album?" Jean-Pierre walks to him and says, "He was traumatized, too." He walks over to the Royal Mann and Gecze Hall, where the damage is horrific. The seats are uprooted and the stage is covered in blood as some students were killed. The police officer says to Mr. Delmas, "Well, this adds a lot of money to the damages bill." The police officer walks towards the dorm and sees 10 guitarists very angry with him. They yell, "WHO SMASHED OUR INSTRUMENTS?"

Later on, as the gang was getting ready to go to dinner, the intercom announces, "STONES, STERN, DELLA ROBBIA, ISHIYAMA, POLIKIAOFF, STARR, MCCARTNEY, AND DALTREY, COME TO THE OFFICE…IMMEDIATELY!!!" They head to the office and the principal is angry with them. He yells to them, "Some hooligans destroyed the arena! You owe us $100,000 in damages, plus $100 to the writer for the cliché! If you don't, you'll get 4 seconds of detention and your parents will be notified!" Aelita grabs out $200,000 from her pocket and hands it to the principal. He says, "Thanks, Aelita. Aren't you gonna go to that place, Vertigo?" She replies, "Yes."

At Vertigo, the gang, along with Rush, goes inside and see the interior design of the restaurant. Inside, it is beautiful! It has a sushi bar, a grill, a pizza parlor, a dance floor, a record store, a gift shop, and a computer room with iTunes hooked on it…only. To sum it up, it is similar to a Virgin Megastore, but larger. Ringo, Ulrich, and Jeremy head for the grill. Yoko (not trying to stereotype her) and Yumi head to the sushi bar. The rest of the gang head to the pizza parlor and get some pizza, with Paul getting salad, Aelita getting pepperoni pizza, fries, and a Mr. PiBB, Odd getting a potato-skins-and-garlic pizza, and the members of Rush get nothing (for the moment) except for a soda. They sit down next to Yoko, Yumi, Ringo, Ulrich, and Jeremy, which are sitting at the table, eating. During the eating, Aelita starts up a conversation by saying, "Hey, remember that time when we first ate at King Arthur's?" Odd replies, "I remember. I also remember that you almost threw up on me since you didn't know where to throw up." Jeremy replies to Aelita's statement, "Didn't you eat WAY to much pizza that time or something like that?" She replies, "Yeah, Jeremy. I did. Of course, it was the greatest food for a while…until I discovered the hamburger at Carl's Jr. I ate so much of those that now, I stay away from them." She grabs Ulrich's burger and eats it. She gets a sick feeling in her stomach and says to Ulrich, "Do you have AIDS in that burger?" Ulrich replies, "No, Aelita. I'm not HIV-positive. If I was, I'd be a vegetarian."

In August, when the gang was back in school, Aelita woke up at the same time they did and got on a pink t-shirt, blue jeans, and her pink flip-flops. She got her backpack and ran to the social studies class, where the teacher was giving out permission slips for a trip to Auschwitz. He says to the class, "You have to go, unless you want to fail. It is important, since we are reading the book 'Night' by Elie Wiesel." Aelita thinks madly, "Why does he want us to go to a concentration camp? Does he…oh, no. He's not that mean." The teacher sees her and hands her a permission slip to Auschwitz. She hands it back to him and says, "I don't think I can accept this, Mister." The teacher replies, "But you're a Christmas-celebrating girl!" Aelita gets very mad and yells to him, "I'm not a Christian! I am Jewish! I celebrate Hanukkah!"

The class was shocked at her. Sissi says to her, "So along with you worshipping Bob and Doug McKenzie, Geddy Lee, and Alanis Morisette, you can't eat pork and you can't drive cars on Saturday?" The class, except for Herve, Nicholas, William, Jeremy, Ulrich, and Odd, laugh at Sissi's statement about how Aelita acts. Aelita slumps in her seat and tears up. She then starts crying and yells to Sissi, "Are you Anti-Semitic, little girl? Do you know that we have survived the Holocaust? We have feelings!" Sissi replies to Aelita's statement, "No, you don't, as you don't need any. You don't make friends to make your money, Brian Epstein!" Aelita stops crying and gets up from her seat. She walks over to Sissi and starts fighting with her. Sissi says to her, "You think you're tough, Aelita? Let's see how you do in the…" The teacher runs to them and breaks up the fight. He says to Sissi, "You don't insult people as of race or as of the country they came from, Sissi! You respect them for that! In fact, I should give you detention for your anti-Semitic statements to Aelita!" He directs his attention to Aelita and says to her calmly, "I know you may be offended by the field trip, but you get to stay in a hotel. Also, the book 'Night' is good. Just don't be offended. I'm sorry I confused you for a Christian." Aelita replies, "It's okay, teacher. Can you be a little tolerable next time?"

After school, the gang meets in her dorm and says to her, "You're JEWISH!" Aelita replies, "Yes, guys. I am a Jewish girl. I'm also Christian, thanks to my mom's side. I do celebrate Christmas. I do drive on the Sabbath." Jeremy says to her, "I don't, because I'm also Jewish. Would you like to come to my Rosh Hosannah party?" Aelita replies, "Sure, Jeremy. When is it?" He replies, "Sometime in September…what happened to Sissi?" Ulrich replies, "She got suspended from school for a week. It turns out that discrimination due to race or religion or gender is a serious crime and that it will get you suspended. The teacher didn't tell the new handyman/custodian about you fighting with Sissi about your race." Aelita says to him, "Who's the new custodian?" All of the gang reply in fear, "SAMUEL." The new custodian comes in, seeing the gang talking. He then belts out a song from his hit "I Heart Carla" on Virgin Records. The gang pushes him out of the room. He says to himself, "What is wrong with these people?"

In September, after school, Aelita drops off her books by her room, still thinking about how William was naïve about Lyoko, thinking that it was a video game, and ended up being possessed by XANA, making him have enough power to destroy the Core of Lyoko completely, but not William or her dad. William was morphed into a XANA-themed version of himself while Franz got refuge in the Internet. She thinks, "Why did William have to be so naïve about Lyoko? Why did he?" and gets on a pink t-shirt, blue jeans, and her black skate shoes. She grabs her iPod, fully charged, and her Stratocaster and walks out of her room. She locks it and heads upstairs to Jeremy's room, where he is dressed in a blue shirt, blue jeans, and his shoes. He also has an iPod, full of songs by alternative artists, Perry Como, Steely Dan, Ray Charles, Kanye West, and Outkast…

(Suddenly, in the room where the author is writing this story of epic proportions, the rap group Outkast come in with lawsuit papers. Big Boi says to me, "We're suing you!" I then reply, "Don't sue everybody for using your name!" Andre then says to me, "We need the money. I'm trying to make the Class of 3000 on Cartoon Network.")

(Back to our regularly scheduled program)

Meanwhile, Aelita sits on Jeremy's bed and says to him, "Jeremy, I'm ready to go to your house." He replies, "Okay, Aelita." They walk out of the room and head to the Mercedes-Benz. They get in and crank it up. Suddenly, the navigation system says to both of them, "Where do you want to go?" Aelita says to it, "We want to go to the Belpois household." The navigation system shows where it is and Aelita follows it. She backs out of the parking space, and since it is a Friday, she says to Odd, sitting on a bench, "Hey, Odd. Do you wanna come?" He gets into the car and sleeps as Aelita goes onto the main road to Paris. There, she turns onto a road heading to the suburbs of Paris and turns left 1.5 miles later. She ends up on Bariaté Drive and sees many cars parked in front of the Belpois household. She parks next to it and they all get out to see people partying on Rosh Hosannah. They walk inside the house and see people around the house, drinking wine and all of that alcoholic stuff. They walk inside the kitchen and see Jeremy's parents interacting with some of their friends. Jeremy taps his mother's shoulder and she turns her head around to see her. She is a girl version of Jeremy. She says to him, "Hey, Jeremy! I'm glad you could come this year! Who are your friends?" He replies to the question, "They are Aelita Stones and Odd Della Robbia. I know them from science and history class. One time, Odd made a joke about Ragnarok…" Odd says to Mrs. Belpois, "…and roll!" He starts laughing. Aelita rolls her eyes and says to Jeremy, "That joke isn't funny. Isn't there anything to drink?" Jeremy shows her the drink fridge and opens it up. Aelita grabs out a Dr Pepper and opens it up. She drinks it and says to Jeremy, "When do the festivities come in?"

After the foolery and hanging around, the Belpoises call the guests to the living room and they do the things that you do on Rosh Hosannah (if you've ever celebrated it). Aelita has some trouble reciting the Hebrew and Yiddish (as she hadn't spoken it for 10 years), yet she still participates. At the end of the party, Aelita is exiting the house, shaking hands with Jeremy's relatives until she finds Michael Jackson on a swing, watching "Peter Pan" on his iPod. He says to her, "Hey, Aelita. Do you want to do it in the road? No one will be watching us." Aelita kicks him in the nose and it falls off. He scrambles the ground, trying to find it, yet Aelita has it and throws it into the wood chipper. Michael Jackson dives in after it, yet the wood chipper chips him into ashes. He yells to her while being chipped, "You want me to DIE!!! YOU SHALL…" Aelita replies, "Shut up. I'm a virgin right now."

END OF CHAPTER 11


	12. The William Dunbar Effect

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: This chapter is dedicated to my friend who had chest pains on Monday, November 20, 2006. He can't play sports for a while, so we here at (and probably SonNeko, my favorite Code: Lyoko fanart maker) dedicate this chapter to him, the heart of Salem High School…or Rockdale High…or…it's not Newton High, I know. Anyways, this chapter is very different from the "controversial" content of Chapter 11 and will be not as discriminating (I wasn't trying to make it discriminating, for the 2 people who read this story) as before. Seth, quotation and guitars!**

"**In the Garden of Eden, honey, don't you know that I always love you?"**

**-Ron Bushy's Drum Solo**

It was October 31, 2005, the day of Halloween, and since the students had no homework (and no parents around, except for Yumi) to do, they trick-or-treated that day, but the gang went to Odd's house to hold a party, with Aelita bringing her laptop (and her iTunes playlist) along. Of course, Odd's house was in Normandy, aka the spot where D-Day was held in 1944, a big tourist city in Northern France, so they got onto a Cessna 2-engine plane, and since Aelita also had her pilot's license, she drove it to the airport at Normandy, which took an hour. There, they saw Odd's parents, his dad being in the Army and dressed like a general and his mom being a painter (which are actually the real life descriptions of Mathew Gecze, the voice of Odd, and his parents, thanks to LyokoFreak), and they took them to Odd's house, a 2-story house overlooking the beaches on where they didn't fight D-Day (and where Mikey Way "died" in the video for "Ghost of You" by My Chemical Romance).

When they got to the house, they got inside and looked at the many paintings of Mrs. Della Robbia. Aelita, however, started setting up the laptop to the PA system while drinking a Pepsi. After that, she grabbed a plastic bag with her costume inside and went to the bathroom. She came out a second later as Napoleon Dynamite from the movie…"Napoleon Dynamite"! Odd sees her as the character and says, "Hey, do you want my tater tots?" Aelita replies, "No, Odd. I'm not freakin' starving!" Odd ponders for a few seconds and then replies, "Come on! I don't want them!" Aelita says to him, "No, Odd! I had too much to eat today!" He then kicks her in the shin and she falls down onto the ground. She yells, "Gross! Flippin' idiot!" and gets up. She walks to the PA system and turns her laptop on iTunes. She puts it on Odd's hit song, "Break! Break! Breakdance!" and it plays all over the house, with Odd getting embarrassed about the song.

He runs to her and puts her into a Full Nelson. He says to her, "Turn that song off! I don't want to hear that song anymore!" She gets up and walks to the laptop, changing the song to a random Rammstein song. Odd leaves the room and Aelita sits on a chair, listening to the song. Meanwhile, Ulrich goes into the bathroom and comes out as Jordan of Killradio, a little known band from California. He says to her, "Do you know whom I'm dressed up as?" Aelita says, "Dr. Dre? Big Boi? Jordan from Killradio?" Suddenly, the aforementioned people come in the house and say to Ulrich, "We want to sue you!" Ulrich says to them, "It wasn't me! You said that I had unlimited minutes!" Jordan yells, "Fees, shorty, fees!" Ulrich says to them, "You are clowns!" The group of famous people then breakdance and Ulrich smiles and leaves very slowly.

Aelita walks out of the house and onto the beach, where Odd was in the hot tub with Jeremy and Yumi. He says to Aelita, "Hey, Aelita! You want to go in the hot tub?" Aelita says to him, "Sure, Odd" and runs inside the house. She unties her shoes and slips them off and then turns on the TV. She takes off the Napoleon wig and lays back on the La-Z-Boy, watching Animal House. Suddenly, the movie ends and she goes into the bathroom to change. She comes out in a bathing suit and runs to the hot tub. She got in and suddenly, _the people turned into Jordan and Dr. Dre. They said to her, "You owe us for saying our names!"_

Aelita wakes up on the chair, still dressed up as Napoleon Dynamite, to Jordan and Dr. Dre trying to sue her. She yells, "Why are you so protective about your names?" Jordan replies, "I don't know. It's just a gag." Aelita says to him, "No, this is a gag" and Neil Peart magically appears in front of her. She throws him onto the beach. Jordan replies, "Okay, Aelita. You keep doing what you need to do." The famous people leave and Aelita goes to Odd, who's watching Animal House on the TV. She sits on the couch and says to him, "When's the party going to start?" Odd replies, "Aren't you supposed to put out everything?" She gets up and grabs some party bowl. She puts Doritos and popcorn in them. She also grabs a soda fountain and puts it on the counter. Suddenly, the doorbell rings and she opens it to see people from Wimpy Bar to cater for them. They walk inside and set the grill on the porch. They also set the deep fryer in the kitchen and start cooking the food. One of the workers, seeing the soda fountain and throwing his away, says to Aelita, "Fine job on the soda fountain, girl."

After they cook everything, the people come and they start partying. Suddenly, Aelita plays David Allan Coe and the guests go to sleep to songs about being country or he'll kick your butts. She turns it onto Nirvana and the guests go into a coma. She turns it onto Dem Franchise Boys (the worst rap group EVER) and the people get up and dance to it. Aelita yells to the guests, "Why do you like rap more than grunge or country?" They yell back, "Rap is the shiznit!" Aelita slams her head against the soda fountain and grabs a Wimpy Bar burger. She also grabs some fries and ketchup and eats them in regret as the people dance to the worst music ever made.

After the party, Aelita unhooked the laptop from the PA system and put it in the car heading to the airport. The gang got out of their costumes and got back into their regular clothes. Aelita, however, was pretty upset that the people were listening to rap and not the alternative (or alt-rap, like the Beastie Boys, Eminem, or Kanye West) scene and yells to the guests, "KEEP ON BEING MENTALLY CHALLENGED!!! RAP DOES THAT TO YOU!!" She runs into the car and starts crying out her anger. Odd comes in after a minute and says to her, "Why are you depressed about rap being popular?" Aelita replies, "Rap wasn't meant to be, but Marshall Mathers, Kanye West, and the Beasties are in the category of alt-rap, alternative rap. They don't talk about the booty or pools. They talk about their feelings." Odd says to her, "Rap is popular right now and nothing's gonna change it."

The next day, Aelita wakes up and gets on her clothes. She grabs her bookbag and heads to Biology, where Mrs. Hertz is teaching about anatomy of the human body. Aelita gets in and sits in her seat right next to Jeremy. She grabs out her notebook and mechanical pencil and starts writing down the notes on the board. Mrs. Hertz, or Suzanne for short, says to her, "You're late, Aelita. I'm gonna have to count you tardy." Aelita replies, "I had a rough night last night." Suzanne listens and says to her, "Did you date Belpois last night?" Aelita replies, "No, Ma'am. I went to a party." Sissi walks over to her and says, "Was it a party for idiots, like you and Jeremy?" Aelita gets really mad, yet she tries to keep her cool and says to Sissi, "Don't call me a retard." Sissi then grabs out a photo of Aelita sleeping with Mister Puck without the covers on and says to her, "You still sleep with dolls! You might as well be a retard!" Aelita gets up from her seat, her hands balled up, and yells to her, "No one insults me!" She then punches her in the chest. Sissi falls onto the floor and yells back, "I insult you because I want to be your friend! It was meant to be a joke, like the anti-Semitic comments I made and the joke about you going to the home of your friends Rush! I know that my daddy acted bezerk and wanted to kill your friends, but it was all a dream!" Mrs. Hertz replies to Sissi, "I also remember a dream that the power plant was about to explode!" Jeremy gets a sick feeling in his stomach. He raises his hand and says, "Can I go to the infirmary? My stomach's really sick!" Samantha, who takes this class for no reason whatsoever, says to Jeremy, "I remember on the day that you said that the Shepard's pie made you and that freak sick, there was no Shepard's pie! In fact, we had chicken that day!"

Aelita and Jeremy run out of the room in fear that they might belt out the secret and run to Odd's room, where he and Ulrich were sick due to the party (and food poisoning) the night before. Jeremy says to them, "The 'reverse time' feature produces, when we reverse time, a dream of what happened. Mrs. Hertz remembers in a dream that the power plant was going to explode! Sissi remembers her dad being possessed and kidnapping the unlikely couple! We shall call it the William Dunbar effect, the first person to tell us that his memories were part of a dream." Odd says to him, "Einstein, you got to stop freaking out…did you say that Samantha already realized that there was no Shepard's pie that day that you faked sick?" Jeremy says, "Yes." Aelita walks over to Odd, with tears streaming down her face, and says to him, "Your girlfriend called me a freak! Sissi even knows who I am, due to her dream, which she found out my real name!"

A couple of weeks later, it is the Friday before Thanksgiving break and already, Aelita is being picked on, even by the teachers, just because of them realizing that she is, in reality, Aelita Hopper. She packs up her stuff and says to the gang, "I'm going to leave France. Everything's gone helter skelter here. Really, I'm going to Graham's until the confusion dies down." Odd says to her, "Can I come?" The others ask the same question. Aelita replies, "Sure. Graham has already met you before and you need a rest from the chaos that's going around here."

The gang head to the airport and fly the plane to Orlando. There, they head to Graham's house, which he is loading stuff in his car. He says to Aelita, "Hey, sis! Put your stuff in here! We're going to my mother's sister's house for Thanksgiving. Tell the others to put their stuff in too." Aelita puts her suitcases in the van. The others do that, too. Finally, they get into the car and he drives all the way to I-4, on which he heads near Ocala. He says to the gang, "We're going to Gatlinburg, due to my mom's sister living there. She's younger than my mom by about 14 years. It is going to be a long way up there, so I need to go on I-85 in DeKalb County and head to I-985 to Clayton. From there, I'll take Highway 441 to Cherokee and head into the mountains for a 40-minute drive to Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge, the home of the ever-so-entertaining Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede! From there, I'll get onto some local roads and show us where we used to live before Mom died of cancer. That's where my aunt lives." Aelita replies, "Was she a college girl when I was born?" Graham replies, "Yeah, sis. Do you want to listen to something?" Aelita says, "Sure." Graham grabs out the "2112" CD and puts it in the dashboard stereo. Suddenly, swirling sounds start playing on the stereo for about 40 seconds, and then the 20-minute rock opera plays. Odd says to Aelita, "I've heard this song at Kadicspalooza." Graham says to him, "Did it go well?" Odd says, "It did, except for Aelita's 'friend', Dan, going psycho on her. She even broke 10 guitars!" Graham says to Aelita, "I heard about that, Aelita. It was pretty awesome, but the lawsuits, I'm not ready for them! If they confront you here or at school, take it like a man."

END OF CHAPTER 12


	13. Thanksgiving and Karate

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 13

"Welcome to the shop which has everything but fabric softener. We don't believe that stuff can work."

**-Steve Miller at the Everything Else Except Fabric Softener store in Atlanta, GA**

In Dillard, GA, the home of one of the best all-you-can-eat-places in the world, the Dillard House, Graham passes it while a Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited Edition and a truck go in (they're going around the same time as I did in 2005). He says to the others, "Don't worry. We'll eat in Cherokee, which is about…40 miles away."

About 10 miles from Cherokee, NC, Aelita can't hold her bladder anymore. She says to Graham, "I need to use the bathroom!" He stops the car at an Exxon and says to the gang, "Drink and bathroom stop! You can get a drink and you can use the bathroom! 10 minutes!" They get out of the car and head inside the store, where they buy drinks and Aelita uses the bathroom. She also gets a Dr Pepper. They get back into the car and ride to Cherokee, NC's weirdest restaurant establishments, close to the Country Bear (or the Harrah's, which one you count), the Big Boy that has been in renovation for many years. They walk inside and see it all fixed up. Graham says to the gang, "It was broken the last time I went here." They sit down and order the buffet, except for Ulrich, who orders a Big Boy Burger as usual.

After dinner, they went into the Smoky Mountains, heading to Gatlinburg. About 40 minutes later, they get into the really exaggeratedly heavy traffic on Highway 441 outside Gatlinburg. They drive by while keeping flow to the traffic and see the TGI Friday's where Rush ate with Aelita back in 1989. They also pass the Star Cars museum, Uber Gatlinburg Ski Resort, the Ripley's Museum and its places of fun stuff to go while saving $40 for a ticket, and the Hard Rock Café. They turn onto the side road heading to the Sunterra Resort, but they turn on a local road before it and head to a subdivision. They head to the house within the neighborhood and Aelita then has a flashback:

_Aelita and Graham were playing ball at the old home until Graham gets hit in the head with a football. Aelita runs to him and says, "Graham, are you okay?" He says to her, "Sure, Aelita. If I wasn't, I'd be dead."_

Aelita says to Graham, "Turn in the driveway. That's our old house." He does as she does and heads into the driveway of the James family, the family of Lani Christine James-Hopper, the deceased member of the Hopper and James families. They turn off the ignition and head inside the house, where a pretty young lady is sitting on a couch, watching "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation". Aelita sits next to her and says, "Hey, Jodi. How are you?" Jodi replies, "Hey, Aelita! I haven't seen you for 14 years! You stopped visiting back then!" They both hug. Graham walks over to Jodi and says, "Hey, Jodi. I came here for Thanksgiving. Too bad we couldn't go to the Dillard House." Odd yells to him, "I wanted to go, but you complained about the prices! If food tastes that ridiculously good, then it'll be $18 for a teenager and $21 for a man! I've always wanted to eat there ever since I remember going in there when I was 4!" All of the gang gasp. Yumi says, "How can you hear of a place that most of us, except for Aelita, who's from Tennessee, haven't heard of?" Odd says, "I went to Cherokee when I was a young boy. My parents wanted to go to Harrah's for the slots. I had to stay in the hotel room."

Aelita says, "Why are we talking about a Southern staple? Why don't we go to the Hard Rock Café for dinner?" Graham yawns and says to her, "Not now, Aelita. I wanna sleep." He falls to sleep. Aelita does the same. Soon, the gang was sleeping on the floor due to the exaggeratedly long car ride from Orlando to Gatlinburg.

The next day, they wake up and head to downtown Gatlinburg, where they did some things. First, they went in the Ripley's Museum, where they paid $40 a ticket just to see oddities. At one of the exhibits, there was a picture of a guy who had a purple blot in his hair. Yumi looks at it and says to Odd, "He looks like you!" Odd says, "My purple blot is not permanent! It's easily washable! See!" He puts some hair gel in his hair and styles his hair to his old hairstyle and the annoying purple blot is gone. Yumi says, "Okay, Odd. We were just joking." Odd puts some purple dye in that spot and styles his hair in the as-we-know-him-type-of-way. They head to the guy who has no mouth. Jeremy says to Ulrich, "I want that to happen to you so you won't murder cows!" Ulrich says, "I'm a Wimpy, Jeremy. Like he said, 'I'll gladly pay you Tuesday…'" Everyone at that area yells to Ulrich, "SHUT UP!!!"

After the museum trip, they went to the Star Cars museum and saw the cars that they used in movies such as "Dumb and Dumberer", "Bio-Dome", "Stealth", and "Zathura". (Try to guess, in your reviews, what is similar to these movies. Search on the Wiki for them) When they were looking at the DeLorean from the "Back to the Future" movies, Odd hopped into it and started to crank it up. He says to the others, "Get in the car!" Suddenly, the security comes and throws Odd out of the car. They throw the others out of the museum.

After that, Odd walked to the Der Weinerschnitzel where Graham used to work and got himself a hot dog. Graham, however, was angry with him for making them be thrown out of the Star Cars museum. He yells to Odd, "ODD DELLA ROBBIA, YOU ARE GROUNDED FROM YOUR CAMERA AND LAPTOP FOR THE REST OF THIS VACATION!!!" Odd hangs his head in shame while the others were booing at him, even Aelita. He says to her, "I JUST WISH YOU NEVER HAD YOUR 'PRECIOUS' MEMORIES, AELITA! I WISH JEREMY HADN'T GONE INTO THAT FACTORY AND GOTTEN ROBOT PARTS!! I JUST WISH I WASN'T ENROLLED AT KADICS!!" and then runs into the middle of the road, trying to commit suicide. Aelita runs to him and says, "Odd, you don't have to do this! You have to live your life! Who else would fight monsters?" Odd runs back to Graham while Aelita stays in the middle of the road. She also runs to Graham.

After that, the gang head to the Hard Rock Café for lunch and watch a lot of videos by the Beatles (mostly fan made) and AC/DC. Ulrich, this time, orders a chicken sandwich and French fries. Aelita says to him after hearing his order, "You decided to order something else, didn't you?" Ulrich replies, "Yeah, Hopper. I was getting a bit tired of hamburgers, so I decided to eat a chicken sandwich." Suddenly, it's Aelita's turn to order. She says to the waiter, "I'd like to have a hamburger with baked potato, fries, and a Caesar salad." The waiter runs to the kitchen to take the order to the chef.

A few minutes later, the waiter comes back with the orders. Aelita gets her hamburger, baked potato, fries, and a Caesar salad. Graham gets his soup and fries. Odd gets his chicken wings. The rest, they wanted to keep them confidential. Aelita takes a bite in her hamburger and finds out it does taste a bit good. She says to Ulrich, "This hamburger doesn't have AIDS in it. It's good!"

After that day, Aelita heads in the car to the nail salon, where she got her nails done and also got a manicure and a pedicure. She comes back into the house and sees Graham watching Animal House. She says to him, "Hey, Graham. I got my nails done. Wanna see them?" He says, "Not now, sis. I'm watching a National Lampoon movie." She says, "Okay, then" and watches the movie.

As the movie switched to the "Ask For Babs" scene, Graham says to her, "I'm ready to see the nails." Aelita shows her fingernails to Graham. He says, "That's awesome. Where did you get them done?" She replies, "Nail salon." Graham points at her shoes and says to her, "What about your nails down there?"

It was Thanksgiving, November 24, 2005, and Aelita was walking around the house barefooted, showing her pedicured nails to the gang, when suddenly, the guests come in for dinner. It was also a potluck sort-of-thing, so the guests brought some dishes to eat. Aelita got a plate and got some turkey, honey baked ham, and a can of Dr Pepper to drink. She sat down on the couch and started to watch National Lampoon's Vacation, one of the funniest movies of the National Lampoon era (1978-present), even though Van Wilder may beat the title.

Enough of that useless information, meanwhile, the gang got some dinner and sat on the couch and watched some "Vacation". During some of the funny scenes, they ate their dinner and played a drinking game with their iced tea, something new to Odd, Ulrich, and Jeremy, since they hadn't touched the Pepsi machine at the concourses…yet. Of course, Yumi and Aelita have, but this story shows Aelita's experience at that machine.

After Thanksgiving, the gang went back to France and back to the college, where the William Dunbar Effect wasn't popular anymore. Even Mrs. Hertz wasn't talking about the power plant anymore. Aelita was happy. She experienced a whole week without being tormented and then went into her room to sleep for the day. It was December 1, 2005.

The next day, she was in music class, currently taught by Yoko Ono, who you wouldn't see teaching a class. She was taking down her notes as with every Friday, but this Friday, all that would change. At the end of class, as the students were packing up to go to their rooms, Yoko had this to say, "Next Friday, the band AC/DC is coming to our school for our 'December For Bands' month." The students ran into the halls, enjoying the celebration so much that they even tore the walls up. The teachers were called to restrain the students, but Aelita was the only one who wasn't crazy. She walked to her room and then yelled in excitement, "AC/DC's coming here!" She turned on her radio to the classic rock station in France. It was currently playing "Dream Police", an ironic twist to Aelita. At the same time, Jeremy came into the room with an envelope that had 2 tickets for a Cheap Trick concert inside it. He listened to the song and says to Aelita, "You're listening to Cheap Trick? I like those guys! In fact, I was going to give you 2 tickets for their concert next Friday at the Royal Mann and Gecze Hall." Aelita thinks for a second and then replies to him, "Just give the tickets to Sissi and Herve. AC/DC's coming to the school next week."

He then leaves the room. Aelita stays in the room and takes her shoes off. She gets into the bed and starts sleeping…

_She is in a car, listening to Tracy Chapman's hit about fast cars, until a Mack or a Peterbilt smacks into her. She dies instantly. Later on, she wakes up as the leader of the Spanish Inquisition, Cardinal Jimenez, and opens a door in front of her. She then sees all of the Kadics Junior High students being chopped up by the meat grinder from "The Wall". She yells, "I'll save you!" but before she could move, King Arthur stabs her in the heart, killing her in the dream…_

Aelita wakes up in her room with sweat all over her body. She had woken up from the acid trip-esque dream and already her clothes were wet. Also, the time was 5 in the afternoon. She had only slept for an hour. She says to herself, "I need some better dreams" and gets out of the bed. Suddenly, a knocking could be heard from the door. She opens it, thinking it could be Jeremy and his big band, now containing (some) members of Gin Blossoms, but it turns out to be a man dressed in a schoolboy's outfit. She says to him, "Are you like Michael Jackson, because I can call up the guys at CBS and tell them about you?" He replies, "No, Aelita. I'm…" She interrupts, "HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? ARE YOU SICK AND TWISTED?" He pushes her down onto the floor and slaps her in the face. He yells, "I'm not sick and twisted, damn it! I'm ANGUS!! I'M ANGUS YOUNG!!! HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF AC/DC?"

Aelita throws him out of her room. He walks to the special education classrooms, which are taught by a teacher, Mrs. M. Arsvolta. Inside, he finds kids speaking in 5-digit primes, kids in wheelchairs worshipping Freddie Mercury (even though they're supposed to worship Jesus), and a 6-year-old girl looking at a mint condition copy of the Beatles' "White Album". He walks to the girl and says to her, "Hello, Whatshername. I'm Angus Young. Have you ever heard of AC/DC?" She doesn't answer. He grabs the White Album LP and looks at all of its glory, but she starts screaming like a fire alarm or a smoke detector. The teacher hears this and looks at Angus looking at her record. She says to him, "PERV! You're not supposed to remove that from Sally's sight! Do you know she's from 'House of Cards'?" She then throws him out of the room.

Meanwhile, Aelita is in her room, sitting in her computer chair, until Yumi walks in. She says to Aelita, "Aelita, karate class is in 20 minutes." Aelita gets out her karate uniform and her Karate Kid headband. She takes off her shirt (Don't worry. She's in a bra) and pants (Don't worry…she's in her boxers). She puts on the uniform and the headband and hears another knock on the door. She opens it to see Angus. She yells to him, "Stand back! I know what you're gonna do!" He says to her, "I'm Angus Young from AC/DC. I'm sorry I insulted you…why are you in that karate uniform?" Aelita replies, "Well, Yumi thought it would be nice if I took karate as an after-school sport since that the track team is closed for the winter. Angus, I'm also in the Steely Dan tribute band club, video gamers club, people who think that they were in a computer for 10 years club, the Beatles fan club, Music Choir, alternative rock band club, Beta Club, Guitarists club, and more clubs." Angus says, "Okay…" and leaves the room. Aelita looks at her watch. 5:20 P.M. She says to herself, "I'm late for class!" and slips on her flip-flops. She grabs her change-out clothes and runs to her car. She gets in and drives over to the karate building. She gets out and heads inside, where Odd, Ulrich, Sissi, Austin Mitcham (even though he's a Civil War re-enactor in Covington), Milly, Tamiya, Taelia, and Jeremy (he needs a workout) are watching the class before them do a ridiculously easy obstacle course and see one person fall on the 2-book barrier.

A few minutes later, the class after the ridiculously easy class takes off their footwear and heads onto the floor where the karate teachers, Mike Diamond and Adam Horowitz of the Beastie Boys, are doing warm-up exercises. They say to the students, "Warm up with us because we're the Beastie Boys! Warm up or I'll break your toys!" The students start doing calisthenics, but not because of the threat. After warm-ups, they head to the shag-carpeted basement, where a crazy obstacle course is in there. Mike says to the students, "Students, here's how to do this obstacle course. First…" and sees the camera operated by us. He turns it off.

We get control of it after class, but for the obstacle course, let's say that Aelita won at a time of 42 seconds, an exaggeratedly short time for a hard obstacle course like that. The students change into their regular clothes, but for Aelita, she got into a pink hoodie, blue jeans, and black shoes. They walk to King Arthur's Pizza Palace, which hasn't changed a bit. They get their pizza and sit down at a booth, watching Monty Python shorts. After that, they go into the arcade, full of Duke Nukem, Time Crisis, Tekken, racing games, Pole Position, and a love tester. The gang goes to their respected games.

After game time, the gang head out the door until Terry Gilliam, proprietor of the restaurant, blocks it. 2 guards get the gang and throw them into his office. He says to them, "You guys were awesome at Kadicspalooza! Of course, the Civil War junkie and those 2 kids weren't there, but you were awesome! I even have 10 people I want you to talk to!" Suddenly, the 10 guitarists, except for Alex Lifeson, who's friends with Aelita, come out of the closet and say to them, "YOU SMASHED OUR INSTRUMENTS!!!" They jump out of the window and run to their cars…

END OF CHAPTER 13


	14. Talent Scouts, Act 2

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: This chapter currently beats the original "Doesn't Anybody Know…" by many words and many pages…on 12-point font. Good job for a replacement. Of course, the disclaimer is supposed to warn you about crap and all that, but let me tell you, some of the ideas expressed in this chapter and the next will be conflicting according to the show. To warn you, another person goes into Lyoko. Guess, guess, and guess, you may be wrong. If you are, drink two 2-liters of Mr. Pibb and eat Bagel Bites until you get sick. (Seriously, don't do that.) Seth, start up the talkbox and the record player, put on that Loverboy album, and let's listen to "Working For the Weekend"!!!**

"**Haldo, how are you?"**

**-St. Jimmy**

Later that night, Aelita was getting ready for bed and actually goes to sleep. Outside, the 10 guitarists break down her door and surround her. Aelita wakes up and screams at them, "YOU MEN! GET OUT!!! I'M SLEEPING!" Bob Dylan replies to her, "Get up, Aelita. You may or may not be in trouble." She gets up and puts on her shoes. She walks with the guitarists to the science room, currently vacant for the night. They sit down at a table and yell to her, "YOU SMASHED OUR GUITARS!!!" Aelita says, "Well, I wanted to have a big Woodstock '99 at the festival…what's wrong?" Tom Petty replies, "YOU SMASHED OUR INSTRUMENTS!!! BACK IN MAY!!! IT'S REALLY BAD!!!" Slash, after hearing Tom Petty's little rant, says to Aelita, "To sum things up, you're in deep, deep trouble. You broke the things that give us a lot of money. They keep us drinking Mr. Pibb in solid gold brandy glasses! Even though you paid it off, you owe us!" Billie Joe, listening, takes a sip of his Vault and says to Aelita, "You're in deep crap, girl! What I mean is that you're in trouble for smashing guitars! It was okay when Kurt Cobain, Chris Ballew, and Roger Clyne did it, but it's not the 1990s, Hopper!" Bob, drinking his green tea like a maniac, says to Aelita, "I'll give you 2 choices: mow the school grounds with an old-timey lawnmower or a very bad lawn mower/tractor or you go to juvenile hall and make them electrocute you like they did to Lloyd Bridges at his house, now an insane asylum." Joe Perry, shocked by the choices that Bob gave, says to Aelita, "I suggest the lawns, Aelita. It won't get you into trouble." The 3 other guitarists, except for Alex and Eric, say to her, "We agree with him, too!" Alex walks to Aelita and puts his hand on her shoulder. He says to her, "I agree with Joe, but I don't think you did it to make a Woodstock '99 or pull a Kurt Cobain. I think Neil made you do it. I remember that you didn't let go of your guitar back in 1989" and covers his mouth in embarrassment that he somewhat slipped out the secret to these guitarists.

The guitarists were shocked. Tom DeLonge says to her, "Aelita, is it true?" Jeff Lynne says to her, "A 14-year-old girl alive back in the 1980s? Wow!" Joe Satriani, not to be confused with Joe Perry, says to Aelita, "Cool, girl. Keep on rockin' in the free world." Aelita says to them, "Yes, I was born in 1982, but…can all of you keep a secret? It's not supposed to be told, not even by this Canadian next to me." Alex blushes. All of the guitarists reply, "Yes, but you still owe us work!" Aelita replies, "Mow the lawn."

At 8 in the morning, Aelita is literally in her gym clothes, riding a crappy lawnmower for four hours, mowing the school grounds, even the Hermitage area. Suddenly, she gets off when she is done and falls down onto the ground of the vending concourses, trying to get a drink. Eric runs to her and gets her a Vault. He says, "That's enough work, Aelita." Aelita gives him the "rock on" gesture.

A week later, on Friday, December 9, 2005, she gets into the music class and sees Angus Young in the teacher's chair. She screams to him, "HOW'D YOU GET HERE?" Yoko walks into the room and says to her, "He's been here for a week, Aelita. The other members are around somewhere else." Suddenly, Brian Johnson, Malcolm Young, Phil Rudd, and the bassist (Don't tell me his name.) walk into the room. Aelita faints and gets back up again. She sits down in her seat.

After class, she rounds up the band and heads to the auditorium, where AC/DC is judging the school's music talent. Currently, it wasn't great. There was a ska band, a heavy metal band, a Shaggs-esque band, a Pezcore band, and the school orchestra. Backstage, the bands left the stage very upset. The Pop-Rock Progressives were up next. Aelita says to the band, "Okay, band. Play your best. We may not win that music video prize, but we'll stay together." Odd says to her, "I'm leaving if we don't leave." Nicholas raises his hand and says, "I agree with Odd."

Suddenly, the band is called. They walk onto the stage and see Brian marking off the Shaggs-esque band off of his list of bands that will get the prize. Aelita says into the microphone, "We are the Pop-Rock Progressives and this is our song, 'Radio Shack'. One, two, three!" The band starts playing in a fast, punk style while Aelita starts speaking into her talkbox. Nicholas starts playing his double bass pedals. Ulrich does a very screeching guitar riff. Aelita sings into the microphone:

"_I'm heading to Radio Shack!_

_I'm heading to Radio Shack!_

_I love their prices on battery holders!_

_Is it I or is it the guys running the corporation?_

_Radio Shack is full of good memories!_

_In there, I wanted to make a band!_

_I decided to buy a guitar and join my friends!_

_I knew how to play it anydangways!"_

She plays a guitar solo while Ulrich stops his screeching riff and emulates a trumpet, mainly Herb Alpert's trumpet, on his guitar using his Deacy Amp. Odd starts playing his bass guitar with his teeth. Nicholas plays a snare drum round while keeping up with the double bass pedals. Odd sings into the microphone:

"_I saw a boy named Marguerite Angelou._

_He was the writer of that sick autobiography._

_He was in an Atlanta Pizza and Gyro._

_He was pretty strong and could lift a chair._

_Is our biography based on the superstars of California, listening to Elvis the Pelvis?_

_Are they eating peaches from Georgia's chitlin' trees?_

_If so, can they read my mind and get me an iPod for dinner?_

_I saw a boy. He was blind and was waifed."_

Odd played more bass lines with his teeth. Ulrich started playing more of a heavy metal riff. Aelita got out of the guitar solo and started playing the keyboards like Geddy and Alex while playing her guitar. Nicholas started going crazy with the cymbals and sang into his microphone:

"_My mother, can you hear me?_

_My mother, can you hear me?_

_I saw a boy who's blind at Radio Shack._

_He needed a new battery for his camera._

_I am the Deaf Boy on drums._

_I can't sing well, but I can play the drums like Frank Beard._

_My mother, can you hear me?_

_My mother, you can hear me!_

_Tell me if you can hear me!_

_Tell me! I want to know!_

'_Twas a day of Christmas when I sang for the weeks!_

_I am the Stain of Saint Nicholas on his soda jacket!"_

Nicholas stops drumming. Odd stops playing his bass guitar and tunes his bass. Aelita stops the keyboards and plays a punk riff. She yells into the microphone:

"_I can hear you, baby boy!_

_I can hear you!_

_I wish you never joined the FCC._

_I wish you never did!!" _

Odd comes back on bass guitar and plays a simple outro riff. Ulrich starts playing the screeching riff again. Nicholas stars playing his cymbals, his tenor, bass, and snare drums as to do an outro beat. Aelita plays her guitar in an acoustic-type of way. Finally, the band ends the song with a loud bang.

The judges are freaked out. Brian says to the band, "Alright. You are definitely a progressive rock band. You changed styles at many times. I also liked the way that Aelita played the keys. You definitely won the prize…you get to make your own music video!"

A day later, the band was in the same field that Blur shot their "Chemical World" video and was setting up the instruments. The director was growing tired and says to the band, "Do you want this on YouTube?" Aelita says, "Sure." He then shoots the video for "Radio Shack".

After they shot it and produced it, they put it up on YouTube, where many people first heard of the Pop-Rock Progressives. The video got 400,000 views in the first day as the video was e-mailed to many people, even to SonNeko and Little Villi, who thought that the Pop-Rock Progressives should be released in the USA. Meanwhile, the video made the band popular in France as it was played on radio and TV. Soon, they were popular in school as the best band ever. Anyways, the Lyoko Gang still met from time to time in the factory as to talk about crap. XANA hadn't been attacking for a long time. Anyways, Aelita was sneezing a lot of the times, so Odd conveniently placed a tissue box next to her. She used up the last tissue. Odd picks up the box and says to Jeremy, "Sixth one this week, Jeremy. Do you think she's down with a cold?" Jeremy replies, "No, Odd! She doesn't have a cold! Look at her!" He turns his head to look at her. She is all pale looking and very sleepy. Odd says to her, "I think you may have a cold, Aelita. Please stay in your dorm today." Aelita imperceptibly says, "Sure."

After their talk, the gang head to their final classes of the day, while Aelita tries to head to her room. Sam sees her and says, "GO TO CLASS, STONES!!!" She turns around and walks very slowly to music class. There, she sits next to Jeremy and listens to Yoko's lection about experimental, not avant-garde, composers. Yoko asks Aelita, "Who made 4' 33''?" Aelita then throws up on the floor. The students back away from her. Yoko says to her, "Aelita, can you please go to your dorm? You feel sick. Tell Sam I said so." Aelita weakly replies, "Okay, Mrs. Ono." She grabs her bookbag and walks her dorm. She says to Sam on the way, "Mrs. Ono said I could go to my dorm, Sam." She opens the door and puts up her backpack. She unbuttons her jumper and slides out of it. She grabs her pajamas, which are in the closet, and puts them on the desk. She takes off her hoodie (She still has her underwear and bra on) and puts on the PJs. She takes off her shoes and socks and gets into the bed.

After about 2 hours in the bed, Yumi walks into Aelita's room with her homework and a bottle of Sierra Mist in her hands. She says to Aelita, "Aelita, the teacher told me to get your Music Theory homework. She thought you were about to die. Well, here's something to stave off hunger for a while." Aelita grabs the soda and the homework and replies to Yumi's statement, "I can eat when I have the flu, but I just don't want to eat right now. I wonder how I got it." Yumi sits down on the computer chair and says to Aelita, "Once, there was this guy named Matt Foley and he was a motivational speaker…" "Not that story." Aelita replies. Yumi then sighs and says to Aelita, "I think it was the Shepard's pie they had today. They undercooked it or something. Well, Mrs. Ono told Yolande about it. In fact, the reason I came here was to inform you that you should go to the infirmary now." Yumi walks out of the room and heads to her house. Aelita gets up from the bed, slips on her pink flip-flops, and walks to the infirmary.

When she walks in, she sees Sissi in there, holding her arm in a sling. She sits down next to her and says, "Sissi, what's wrong?" Sissi then replies to Aelita, "I broke my arm, Aelita. Do you care?" Aelita's eyes widen as she looks at Sissi's arm, which is all bloody and the bone is sticking out. She says calmly, "I do care, Sissi. Just please don't rummage through Ulrich's room." Sissi says to Aelita, "No, Aelita. I wasn't looking at his secrets about that place in the old Renault factory, but I was going to give you some flowers and a 'Get Well Soon' card until Sam reached me. He said, 'GIVE ME THOSE!!' but I was running towards the concourses. I ran past them with Sam chasing me and I run up the stairs. He reached me and pushed me from the balcony. I ended up breaking my arm. In fact, I tried telling this to Ulrich and your friends, but they said, 'YOU DESERVE TO DIE!!!' Now, I believe that you're the only one that cares about me." Aelita puts her hand on Sissi's shoulder and says, "I do care. In fact, if you didn't tell about everything, you'd be in our group."

Suddenly, Yolande calls Aelita's number. She gets up and walks to the nurse's office. She sits down on the cot. Yolande walks to her and says, "Yoko told me that you were sick. In fact, I want to check your temperature." She grabs out a digital thermometer and puts it in Aelita's mouth. It then beeps. Yolande removes it and reads the temperature. It was 101.5 degrees Fahrenheit. Yolande says to Aelita, "You should stay out of school this week. In fact, are you weak to food being eaten during a flu?" She replies, "No, I am not weak. I can eat. Just tell Odd and Jeremy to bring me something" and walks out of the infirmary into her room. She kicks off the flip-flops and goes to sleep.

She wakes up the next morning at 2 in the morning when her cell phone starts ringing. She grabs it and answers it. It's Jeremy. He says to her, "Aelita, we need you in Lyoko. We found a way to save your dad." Aelita replies, "No, Jeremy. I'm sick. Can't you do that way later?" He says, "Fine by me" and hangs up. Aelita goes back to sleep…

She is 9 years old; the same age she was when her mother died of cancer. She gets off the bus from school and walks in the house, where her brother is listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd and her dad is working on Project Carthage. She kicks her boots off and sits on the couch, doing her homework to the sound of swear words and Southern rock. Suddenly, Lani walks into the living room and says to the family, "COME AND GET IT!!!" Aelita finds a cowbell next to her and rings it. Graham grabs it and says, "I need that. I'm trying to practice my character, Gene Frenkle, in the music bio sketch I wrote along with some guys I know, Will Ferrell and Christopher Walken." Aelita says, "Alright. I hope Lorne Michaels doesn't steal it." The family walks into the kitchen and sees plates of country ham, fried chicken, coleslaw, potato salad, and 2 pitchers of sweat tea on the table. They grab their own plate and get their own. Lani says grace in a short-of-breath manner. They all sit down and chow down on the Southern meal. Suddenly, Lani gets up and says, "I need my heart medication." She walks to the medicine cabinet, but falls down and dies on the floor. Franz runs to her and checks her pulse. "Zero," he says, "She's dead." Graham and Aelita run to her and cry over her dead body.

Aelita wakes up to the sound of Sam yelling outside her door. He opens the door and says, "STONES!! GET UP!!! YOU'VE OVERSLEPT!!!" Aelita replies, "Sam, I'm sick. The nurse told me to stay in my room this week." He walks to her and says, "Oh, I'm sorry, Aelita. Let me ask her." He grabs out his cell phone and calls Yolande. After about 10 seconds, he hangs up and says, "You're right, now go to bed, boys!" He walks out of the room. Aelita falls asleep immediately and keeps having the same nightmare over and over again.

At lunchtime, Odd walks into the room with Aelita's homework for the classes she missed and a bag and drink from Taco Bell. (No, it's not product placement.) He puts them on her desk and sees her in a nightmare. He grabs out a bucket of ice from his backpack and lifts Aelita from the bed. He pours the ice into her pajamas and she wakes up, slapping him in the face. She says, "Odd, why'd you wake me up?" Odd says to her, "So I won't hear your nightmares. In fact, the Taco Bell bag on the desk is for you. Also is the homework…did you do your Music Theory homework last night?" Aelita replies, "No, Odd." He then yells to her in an Army fashion, "DO IT NOW!!!" Aelita gets scared and starts doing the homework, which was just an Anatomy worksheet, a Literature reading assignment from the book "Fear of Flying" by Emily Jong, and her Music Theory homework, just a worksheet about the experimental, not avant-garde, composers. After that, she puts that in her bookbag and opens up the Taco Bell bag. She starts eating her burritos and nachos and drinks her Mountain Dew. After that, she gets her iPod, currently in the charger, and puts the headphones on it. She plugs them in her ears and listens to Chris Farley's stand-up. She falls asleep immediately and has the nightmares, except immersed with that Chippendales sketch.

Later on, she wakes up to the sound of Jeremy's voice and the Chris Farley stand-up turning off due to lack of battery. He takes the headphones out of her ears and says to her, "Did you have a nightmare, Aelita? I saw you rolling around in your bed like you were scared." Aelita replies, "Yeah, and Chris Farley was attacking me with his Chippendales dance. Do you have dinner for me?" Jeremy says to her, "No, but I can get you some." Aelita replies, "Alright, but can you do me one favor? Can you give me a foot massage?" Jeremy stutters for a while and then says, "Okay."

At the Dairy Queen, Odd and Ulrich were eating hamburgers and ice cream while enjoying this Wednesday that the cafeteria was closed for the night due to food poisoning in the Shepard's pie. Odd takes a bite of his hamburger and says to Ulrich, "Is it me or are the teachers getting helter skelter?" Ulrich replies, "I know. Mrs. Hertz told me that a neutron isn't part of a nucleus. I read and it was. I do study, yet I don't know why my dad's on me now. I STUDY, DANG IT!!!" Jeremy walks into the restaurant and sits at Odd's table. He is clearly mad. He yells to Odd, "Aelita Hopper is a big jerk! She wanted me to give her a foot massage and then go all the way to this place!" and runs to the counter, where he orders a hamburger and French fries. He pays for it and then drives his Yugo all the way to the school. Odd sees this and then says, "Jeremy has a very crappy car." Ulrich replies, "He sure does."

In Aelita's room, Jeremy runs into the room and drops the bag on her desk. He runs out. Aelita says to him as he was running out, "Thanks, Jeremy!" She got out a burger from the bag and put some ketchup on it. She started eating it and then thought, "I need to not be sick tomorrow. I need to e-mail my friends." After she ate the burger, she got her laptop out of her backpack and turned it on. She went on Microsoft Outlook and logged in. She clicked on "new message" and a blank e-mail popped up. She typed:

_To whom it may concern,_

_Hey, Rush. I'm the person who met you back in 1989. Of course, you know I'm Aelita_

_Hopper. Well, I'm sick from a cold I had since Tuesday and I need a remedy to cure me of the cold. Do you have anything that can stave off the effects?_

_Thanks for your consideration,_

Aelita Hopper 

She then sent it.

At the Comfort Inn in Downtown Bologune-Billancourt, in room 2112, the only 3-person room there, the band Rush was watching the "R30" performances on VH1 Classic and saw that it was a good decision to actually release the concert footage from 2003 on the "Feedback" tour, if that's what it is called. Suddenly, Alex's laptop started ringing an "e-mail has been sent" conformation sound and Neil ran to it. He clicked on the e-mail and read it. He says to his friends, "Geddy, Alex! Look at this!" They pause the DVD and run to the laptop to read Aelita's e-mail. After reading it, Geddy says to her, "We need to go over there. She said to throw rocks on her window to alert her." They go to their car and drive to Kadics.

Meanwhile, in Aelita's room, she is talking to the gang on how she is recovering from the cold, but still is sick just a little bit until they hear rocks being thrown at the window. Yumi turns her head around to see Neil being thrown at the window. He crashed through it and says to Aelita, "You're here. Alrighty, then." Geddy and Alex go inside to her room via the door, not the broken window that Neil jumped through. Geddy says to Aelita, "Here's a remedy: black coffee. I know even a girl like you won't survive it, but if you drink it, you'd be alive and perky…if you ask me." Aelita says, "Okay. I'll get some black coffee at the cafeteria tomorrow. I am going to be in class tomorrow. I hope that Matt Foley doesn't come in here and denounce it." Suddenly, the world-famous (or van down by the river famous and Saturday Night Live famous) motivational speaker walks into Aelita's room and says to her, "Don't fake that you're well! If you do, you're gonna end up like me: IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!" She replies, "I spoke too soon, didn't I?"

END OF CHAPTER 14


	15. Christmas Time 'On Instruments'

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I've now reached the chapter at which "Doesn't Anybody Know…" was supposed to end at, but thanks to my computer being reorganized, I lost it forever, but I was retyping a new chapter for it as to retype the whole story, but due to me having no computer for 4 months, I wrote this anecdote, originally at 89 pages in a composition book…without the confetti and icing. Already, this novel has passed "Doesn't Anybody Know…"'s word length by about 20,000 words and isn't as twisted as "Doesn't Anybody Know…" Well, this disclaimer is to tell you that this chapter has a character being inducted into the gang (ever since William Dunbar's failed Lyoko time; he has gone Heylin to his friends) and it is a character this is supporting over the seasons of this Pulp Fiction-esque show airing 4:30 pm weekdays on Cartoon Network. She is despised by the whole gang, including Aelita, who became friendly with her in the last chapter, who she is after due to their secret and the William Dunbar Effect, where the return trips immediately make the things that she saw into a dream, including her dad turning psycho thanks to XANA. Oh, and Neil Young, I'm just ad-libbing on the definition of "cinnamon girl". All right?**

**Thanks for your consideration,**

**The Guy Who Wrote This Story**

"**Seth, play that Relient K music now! Here's Chapter 15, even worse than Chapter 11 Bankruptcy!"**

The next day, Aelita got up and put on her hoodie, her pair of jeans, and her pair of skate shoes. She walked to the cafeteria, where she got her breakfast and a cup of black coffee. She sat next to her friends and said to them, "I feel good today! I can go to classes!" Odd replies, "Alright, Mark Foley. Slow down. You have to drink that black coffee in order to stave the effects of the cold you had since Tuesday." Aelita drinks the coffee and shakes her head ala Ron White to get rid of the sourness of it. Ulrich sees this and says to her, "Are you a fan of Ron White's comedy, even though you're not supposed to watch it?" Aelita replies to him, "Yeah, Ulrich, but I've listened to more profane comedy, like Brother Dave Gardner, Lenny Bruce, Redd Foxx, and Cheech & Chong. I don't see why you hate it." Meanwhile, Sissi sits next to Aelita and says to her, "Hey, Aelita. What's up?" Aelita replies, "I'm talking about Brother Dave, Sissi. What's your favorite comedian?" Sissi then replies, "I like Dennis Miller and a bit of Bill Engvall, just to see how stupid people can get. I also listen to Rick Moranis sometimes. He's a funny guy." Ulrich sees her and says to her, "Sissi, leave. You are a betrayer of us." Aelita defends for Sissi by saying very madly to Ulrich, "You can't stay mad at her forever, Ulrich! In fact, you should stop hanging out with Yumi so much and try other , like me!" Ulrich then yells to Aelita, "I don't care if you are 24 years old in your soul, Aelita, but you don't tell me to dump Yumi! You are the reason that war is on Earth!" Aelita balls her hand up in a fist and shakes it. She then yells back to him, "Well, your people killed my race!" Ulrich gets so mad that he yells, "WE'VE CHANGED SINCE HITLER WAS OUR RULER!!!" and punches Aelita in the face. The teachers see this and get Aelita, due to her broken and bleeding nose. She says to Ulrich, "I can see why your dad hates you." Sam grabs Ulrich and takes him to the janitorial closet. He then says to him, "Ulrich, you are banned from attending the comedy show today, even though I don't know how this school could afford the Blue Collar boys to come here. I heard that the principal works as an FBI agent and gets a lot of money." Ulrich then replies, "I'll accept the punishment. I did hit Aelita because I was trying to protect Germany from the past crimes it had done. If you don't know, I'm a citizen of Germany." Sam then says to Ulrich, "I'm not French, Ulrich. I'm from North Georgia…in the United States. I used to work at a youth camp in Gainesville with my buddies John, James, Josh, and, of course, my love, Carla. I still work there, though."

In the infirmary, Aelita is in the nurse's office, waiting for Yolande. Her hands are covering her nose, which is bleeding and broken. Suddenly, Yolande walks in and says to Aelita, "Ulrich Stern punched you, didn't he? I'm gonna need to bandage that nose." She pulls out a bandage and puts it on Aelita's nose. Aelita replies, "Thanks, nurse" and walks out of the office.

She gets her books out of her room and walks to her class. She sits down in her assigned seat and says to Jeremy, "Is Ulrich temporarily banned from the group?" He replies, "Yeah, due to his violence. He needs to learn his lesson. He can't even talk to you until Christmas vacation." Suddenly, the PA says, "All 9th-12th grade students assemble to the auditorium immediately." The students do just that.

In the auditorium, the Blue Collar Boys are on stage, testing out the microphones and telling random jokes to each other. The students sit in the seats and see the Blue Collar Boys on their barstools. Suddenly, Principal Delmas got onto the stage and says to the students, "Today, at breakfast, one of our students, Ulrich Stern, hit one of his friends, Aelita Stones…I don't think that's her real name. She looks more of an "Aelita Hopper", but not that girl of Franz Hopper's that disappeared in 1994. I'm going to call her Aelita Hopper from now on just because that Stones name isn't great. Anyways, Ulrich is missing the show and can't even make contact with Aelita until Christmas vacation. His parents are being informed about his act of punching to her this morning. I even told the 6th-8th graders about it, but they got a colorful newsletter with cartoon characters on it." Jeff walks to him and says to the students, "We know that, Mr. Delmas. We got hired here thanks to his money. He has a classified job, if you must know…or the music teacher gives him a lot of money. Anyways, what you are about to hear is somewhat inappropriate yet appropriate to you, thanks to Mr. Scotch over here…" Ron raises his hand. Jeff continues, "…so please don't copy the jokes we are about to say. Thanks for your consideration and let the craziness start!" The students cheer as Dan Whitney aka Larry the Cable Guy gets onto the stage and starts saying his jokes.

During the show, Aelita gets up and heads to the bathroom. When she gets back, Ron gets on stage and starts telling about his life while drinking scotch…or apple juice, what you say. Aelita then says to Odd, "What did I miss?" He replies, "You missed Larry's PC stories. They were funny." Jeremy then says to them, "Shut up! I'm trying to listen to this guy's Garth Brooks joke!" Ron hears Jeremy and then says to him, "Boy in the blue sweater, come onto the stage! I want to tell you something!" Jeremy gulps, gets up, and walks to the stage, next to Ron White. Ron then hands him the bottle of scotch and says to him, "Don't worry, boy in the blue sweater. It's just Mr. Pibb…drink it!" The students yell to Jeremy, "Drink it! Drink it!" Jeremy drinks the Dr Pepper imposter and the people laugh at him for drinking it. After he does, Ron White then says to him, "Sing a Neil Young song into the microphone!" Jeremy then sings "Southern Man" by Neil Young into the microphone. The kids laugh at that, too.

After he embarrasses himself, he runs back to his seat, crying. Aelita says to him, "Jeremy, I know Ron White was mean to you, but at least you went on stage. If I tried hard enough, I'd get on stage." Soon, Ron finishes his set and Jeff Foxworthy goes on the stage, saying some of his redneck jokes, including the ever-so-popular-and-parodied "You Might Be A Redneck If…" jokes. After that, Bill got on the stage and Aelita says to Jeremy, "This guy is hilarious." Bill hears this and says to Aelita, "Hey, girl who got her nose busted by a German dude! Come on the stage!" Aelita climbs onto the stage and says to Bill, "Hey, Bill. What do you want me to do?" He then replies, "Why don't you do some stand-up comedy?" Aelita grabs the microphone and says to the audience, "One time, my dad was driving a car. He was like, 'VROOM! VROOM! VROOM!' and I was like, 'I need some Kool-Aid, Daddy!' He was all, 'NO, AELITA! DRINK YOUR MR. PIBB!' and then some red thing smashed through a wall set up in our car magically. He was like, 'OH YEAH!' and I said, 'Yay! It's the Kool-Aid man! Can you please fix our car! My daddy's gonna beat me up!' He then pours his Kool-Aid on me, which had flaming gasoline on it and I was literally jumping out of the car, running to the pond near our house in Gatlinburg. I jump in with my clothes on and soon, I find out I'm covered in mud, so I run through the house to my room and my mother stops me. She was all like, 'AELITA! GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!' I went in and got some clean clothes on, then the Kool-Aid man and Mr. Pibb jumped through my wall and fed me the Jim Jones Kool-Aid. A second later, I was met by the Poison Control center and they said, 'What did you do? Try to join the s?'" The audience laughs at Aelita's Dane Cook-esque comedy about corporate logos and Mr. Pibb, even though the Mr. Pibb idea was Mitch Hedburg's, the Kool-Aid idea being Dane Cook's, and the catching on fire idea was Richard Pryor's. Aelita bows to the audience. Bill walks to her and says, "You were pretty hilarious there. Now, here's what I want you to do: GO TO YOUR SEAT!" Aelita walks back to her seat and was glared at angrily at Yumi and Odd. They thought the joke was insulting to Dane Cook and Mitch Hedburg. Yumi says to Aelita, "You insulted the comedians that I like by combining their material with your story about you catching on fire." Odd replies, "Don't forget, Yumi. She stole Richard Pryor's style." Aelita says to them, "I was trying to pay homage to them."

After the comedy show, Aelita walked back to her room, as the comedy show took up half of the day. She got her change-out clothes and other binders and went to the lunchroom, where Ulrich was sitting at the table, glancing very angrily at her. She says to him, "What did I do?" He replies, "You made me miss the show by making friends with Sissi, that Benedict Arnold!" Aelita yells back, "Why do you hate me so much?" Ulrich then says to her, "I'm trying to protect Germany." Aelita ignores him and walks to the lunch line, where she got her food and went to the same table where Ulrich was. He says to her, "Aelita, are you doing this because you want to forgive me?" Aelita replies, "Yes, Ulrich. I am trying to forgive you."

The next day, Aelita felt sick and the gang was worried, so they went to her room and saw her very sick on the verge of getting well. Jeremy says to her, "I'm sorry that you couldn't participate in the Rush concert today. I'll try to videotape it for you." Aelita replies, "Sure, Jeremy." Yumi then says to her, "I think you may get well before the Rush concert starts." Suddenly, Aelita stops feeling sick and gets out of the bed. She clothes into a black t-shirt, blue jeans that look acid-washed and have holes in them, and her black skate shoes. She says to Jeremy, "I'm well, Jeremy" and walks to the cafeteria to get breakfast. There, she finds Sissi sitting by herself at the table. She sits next to her and says, "Sissi, what's wrong?" She replies, "Aelita, I think I want to join your gang. I want to fight evil. In fact, my dad found out your real name…by a guess." Aelita replies to her, "If you learned not to tell your secrets everywhere, including your blog, you'd be in our gang already, but since you haven't told any secrets in a long time, I'm gonna try to get you in the gang."

After breakfast, Aelita goes to history class and listens to the teacher teach about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and all of the publicity it got. Suddenly, the PA system said to the kids in the classroom, "All students in 9th-12th grades assemble in the auditorium." All of the students in the aforementioned grades assemble in the auditorium. Suddenly, the Three Stooges theme plays and Rush come onto the stage. Geddy says into the microphone, "Hello, Bologune-Billancourt! This is Rush performing a concert for you!" The band starts playing the "2112" melody, all 20 minutes of it. During the show, Jeremy's laptop starts beeping. He opens it to find another tower activated by XANA. He then says to the gang, "XANA's attacking the Internet!" The gang head to the factory while Rush plays more of the "2112" melody. They see them and follow them to the factory. Sissi then sees the band following the gang and follows them to the factory. She finally meets with Rush in the elevator. She says to the band, "Why are you here? I'm here to be in the gang." Geddy then replies, "Sissi, we're here to see what Aelita's friends are up to." They go down the elevator to the scanner room. All of the gang was already scanned into the Internet. The band Rush got in the scanners. They closed on them and they started screaming for their lives. Jeremy hears this from the computer room and heads to the scanners. He sees Rush already virtualized and Sissi standing there. She then says to Jeremy, "Why don't you trust me in this virtual world?" Jeremy then replies, "We don't trust you because you tell everything on your MySpace!" She then replies, "I didn't tell about this, even in my dreams! It was just an illusion!" Jeremy then replies, "Alright, then. You promise to keep this a secret. I know Rush has." She then says to him, "Alright, Belpois. I will keep this a secret."

She then gets into the scanner and Jeremy goes back to the supercomputer. He then virtualizes her and then she drops in the section where the Lyoko gang, in their new concept outfits (seen on the Wiki), is staring at her and the band. Geddy looks like a TRON warrior. Alex looks similar to a Canadian fighter pilot, but with a fedora on. Neil is exactly like Duke Nukem. Sissi is identical to Yumi. Aelita then says to them, "How'd you get scanned? Now the world's gonna get mad!" Yumi replies to Aelita, "Aelita, they realized we needed more help ever since the ever-so-powerful William went Heylin on us! I can trust them. Sissi hasn't told a secret on her MySpace ever since a year ago and you already trust Geddy, Alex, and Neil." She then says to Rush very happily, "Welcome to the team, guys." She also says the same sentence to Sissi, only very angry. They head to the activated tower, but William and his army of monsters attack them. Geddy gets out his gunsword and attacks them. Alex summons the earth around him to attack the monsters. Neil gets hit, but he can't lose his life points and he punches them in the eye. The monsters die. Aelita does her "energy field" to destroy some of the monsters. She ends up getting devirtualized by William, who's shooting random objects at the gang. Suddenly, Sissi says to Yumi, "I think I have a power like Aelita's, Yumi. I think I can deactivate towers." She heads into the tower while dodging the monsters at super speed and she shoots them with arrows coming out of her gloves. She also can't get hurt because she is invincible like Neil. She runs into the tower and heads to the top floor of it. She puts her hand on the interface and it reads her DNA. She types in "Lyoko" and the tower is deactivated. She runs out and says to Yumi, "I can deactivate towers! Now I'm not gonna tell anybody about this, only if I have to in order to save your lives."

Suddenly, Geddy shoots his gunsword at William, but since he has his shield on, Geddy's bullets hit him and get him devirtualized. Neil gets devirtualized by the materialization process. William's powerful rays hit Alex and he gets devirtualized. Soon, all of the gang is devirtualized. They meet in the computer room. Aelita says to Jeremy, "William's getting hard to beat, Jeremy. We need some upgrades." Sissi then says to him, "Jeremy, I know what I can do!" He then replies, "I know, Sissi. You have all of the powers of the gang, including Neil's invincibility power, so that's why you and Neil have to be materialized. Alright, the band Rush are accepted into the gang and so is Sissi, but in order to rescue William and Aelita's dad, we need to have all of the gang, including Paul, Yoko, and Ringo."

After that, they reversed time and participated in the concert. After it, Sissi goes to her room and Jeremy then says to the gang, "Here's a choice: Do you want to head to my house or Aelita's brother's house?" All of them reply, "Graham's house." He says to them, "Okay. I'll call Graham and tell him that we'll be there for Christmas. Sissi has to go to Aruba with her dad from some conference." He then grabs out his cell phone and dials the number to connect to the USA and then dials Graham's number. He says to him, "Hey, Graham. We're coming over for Christmas vacation. Isn't that okay?" Graham replies, "Yeah, Je . e over very quickly, even if you're in a plane cataclysm that is larger than the DC-10 crash back in the late '80s." Jeremy hangs up and says to the gang, "Pack your stuff, guys. We're heading to Florida today!" The gang head to their respected rooms and pack their stuff for a Christmas vacation in Florida.

Later that day, they enter the airport and head to the International gate heading to Orlando International Airport. They get checked and run to the airplane, a DC-10 made from scrap parts of the 1989 American Airlines DC-10 crash and the 1985 Japan Airlines Flight 123 crash. They put their suitcases in and buckle in. Aelita, who's sitting next to Geddy and Alex, says to them, "I hope God protects us." Geddy replies, "Don't deny it, Aelita. Jehovah's gonna protect us no matter what." Aelita replies to Geddy's statement, "Are you the same religion as Michael Jackson?" Geddy then says to her, "No, Aelita. I'm Jewish. My parents survived the Holocaust. Did your grandparents survive it?" She then tears and says to him, "They did and had my dad, but when he was in high school, they were shot by…" Geddy then replies, "Aelita, I know about it. You're Jewish, too. Well, Graham is half-and-half, so you get to celebrate Christmas." The stewardess walks to them and says, "Are you buckled in? I found a dorky boy who says that he's Lex Luthor, the fictional character. He won't buckle his seatbelt…be prepared for him." She grabs 3 menus from her knapsack and says to them, "Passengers, here's your menus for if you want to eat." Aelita then replies, "Well, give me a Dr Pepper, a grilled salmon done kosher-style, a baked potato, shrimp scampi, and French Fries fried in olive oil." The stewardess gets it down and says to her, "It'll be 20 minutes before you'll get your food." She runs off and turns on the "seat belts buckled" light on. Jeremy still hasn't buckled his seatbelt.

Suddenly, the DC-10 turns on and starts to take off. For some reason, thanks to a cheap company, the left engine falls off, yet the airplane is safe…for now. The pilot says to the passengers over the intercom, "We have the situation under control. The reason why the engine fell off was that we have a space shuttle owned by NASA on top of our aircraft. We're going to a special flying height, and then the space shuttle is going to take off. You may feel a sonic boom, but we're not going to die. Since we're at cruising altitude now, we're going to launch the shuttle." He presses a button and it tries to remove the shuttle, but it's stuck. He then says, "We have a malfunction. Be expected to go fast and to be in space in about 3 minutes, but since we have enough oxygen in this plane, you won't die…right now." Suddenly, the rockets on the shuttle start up and then boost the plane to space. Everything in the plane is under 0 G, including Aelita' bookbag, which had a vinyl of "1984" by Van Halen. She sees it floating and grabs it, saying to the passengers, "My record!" The shuttle is freed from the plane. The plane gets back onto Earth and nosedives its way towards Orlando International. It goes back to normal flying, but the vertical stabilizer falls off onto the runway and the airplane flips 180 degrees onto its back. It floats about the ground, since it is still going fast, and heads to Graham's neighborhood.

Aelita says to Geddy, "This is the best airplane ride ever." He replies, "Sure, Aelita, WHEN WE'RE GOING TO BE BURNT UP LIKE OUR ANCESTORS!!!" The passengers start screaming in terror and in excitement. Suddenly, the plane crash-lands onto the street…right across from Graham's house. Of course, little wheels on the top of the plane protect the people from being chop suey. The plane is safe and wasn't damaged at all. The pilot then says over the intercom, "Thanks for flying Catastrophe Airlines. I hope you ride with us again. Next up, to Kansas, almost hitting trees, but with no fires!" The passengers get off the plane and get their luggage. Already, taxis are there and Graham is in the front yard, watching the airplane land like Japan Airlines Flight 123. The gang walks to him and he says, "This was the only way you could go to Orlando, right?" Aelita replies, "I don't know. Jeremy booked the flight." Jeremy then says to Graham, "It was exciting. It was the greatest date with being dead I ever had!" Graham then replies to the gang, "Alright, guys. You came here for Christmas. I know Aelita came here to escape the helter skelter that was Kadics Junior High, but what about you?" Jeremy says to him, "I want to listen to your Van Halen LPs!" Graham then runs into the house and looks for his Van Halen records. He finds them, except for "1984" and he yells to the gang, "WHO HAS MY COPY OF '1984'?"

After that, the gang went inside the house and put their bags into the guest bedroom. Aelita walks to the kitchen and pours herself a glass of eggnog. She then walks to the living room and kicks her shoes off. She drinks it and sees Graham setting up the record player, playing Brother Dave Gardner. Graham says to her, "You can't listen to Brother Dave, Aelita. He's way too vulgar for you." Aelita replies to him, "I've listened to him ever since I was 9, Graham. Will you stop trying to protect me?" He then turns up the volume on Brother Dave's cursing rant and says to Aelita, "Yeah, with all of the - movies you watch, like that John Lennon film, you're not vulgar. I heard that Ulrich didn't want your new member at the table and he punched you in the nose. Can I see?" Aelita rips off the bandage from her nose and shows Graham the clotted blood on it. She then replies, "It looks bad, does it?" Graham then says, "Yeah, Aelita. Well, drink the eggnog and put your shoes on. We're heading to Pacino's. I'm going to meet my college roommate there." Aelita does what he tells her to do and heads to the car.

Soon enough, the whole gang is at Pacino's, waiting for a 2004 Toyota Prius to park next to them. Suddenly, the aforementioned car, packed with a 16-year-old Brazilian boy, a 16-year-old Japanese girl, a 17-year-old Texan boy who has a fondness for ten-gallon hats, a 29-year-old red-haired man with glasses on, a red t-shirt with "NC-17" written on it, blue jeans, and black Nike Shox, a 15-year-old short Chinese kid that is dressed in robes while the others are dressed in their regular clothes, except for the Japanese girl, who's dressed like an emo kid, and a 24-year-old man that looks similar to the red-haired man, but he has black hair, a beard, and looks like Mark Oliver Everett from the Eels. They get out. The red-haired man knocks on Graham's window and says to him, "Hey, Graham! It's me, Andy! Andy Partridge, your old college roomie! I even have the stereotypical gang with me, also with Kyle, my Eels-and-Eagles-lovin' friend! No, we're not gay!" Graham gets out and says to Andy, "Hey, what are those teens' names, anyways?" Andy then replies, "The Brazilian one is Raimundo Pedrosa, the Texan with the hat on is Clayford Bailey, Clay for short, and the Japanese girl that looks punky, she's Kimiko Tohomiko!" Aelita gets out and says to Rai, "Hey, guy. What's up?" He replies, "You're weird, aren't you?" She then says to him, "Yes, I am. I was born in 1982, but I was ageless for 10 whole years. Don't worry. You can't tell it to anybody, not even your 'master', Chase." His face reddens like Red Buttons and says to him, "CHASE YOUNG AIN'T OUR MASTER!! HE'S GONE HEYLIN ON US!!! Of course, he's friends with Andy."

After the meeting of each other, they went inside the restaurant, which was packed. Of course, Graham made reservations in advance and they got a table on the second floor in about 2 minutes. After that, they sit down and order their drinks, with Aelita and her group getting Pepsi. She says to Andy, "Hey, Andy. How's it going?" Andy looks at her for a second and then says to her, "I'm doing good, Aelita. Remember me?" Aelita looks at him and replies, "Yeah, Andy. I remember you back from the early '90s." Andy takes a sip of his Pepsi and says to Aelita, "Yeah, Aelita. Your dad was my science teacher. I wonder what happened to you and him." She replies, "You don't want to know, Andy."

After the dinner, they head back home and do random things. Aelita, however, was watching "Cheech & Chong's Nice Dreams" on DVD while Graham was making Christmas cookies. She was laughing at all of the scenes, including the "hamburger train" scene. Graham walks in and sees what she's watching. He then says to her, "They let you watch that at school? I don't see why France says that doing pot is funny, but the United States says that doing pot is frickin' stupid." Aelita pauses the DVD and looks at Graham for a second. She then replies, "Do you say that this film is not a comedy? This is a work of art…in COMEDY!! Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong are influential comedians!" Graham sits on the couch and says to her calmly, "Hey, can you please restart the DVD and let the others and I watch it?" Aelita says, "Sure, Graham." She goes back to the main menu and clicks on the scene selection. Graham then says over the intercom, "Everybody, come into the living room! We're watching a funny movie here!"

After the viewing of the film, Graham says to Aelita, "Can I please talk to you for a second?" Aelita replies, "Sure" and heads with him to his room. He closes the door and sits on the couch, saying to his sister, "Aelita, how come that you think Cheech & Chong, Brother Dave Gardner, and Redd Foxx are funny…but not the pleasure of being tickled anywhere on your body?" Aelita sits next to him and says, "Graham, about everybody who's tickled me was trying to kill me or is in love with me. In fact, I ain't ticklish whatsoever. Wanna test it?" She raises her armpits. Graham grabs out a feather and strokes it across his sister's armpits. She holds in her laughter. Graham puts up the feather and says to Aelita, "Put one of your legs on the floor, Aelita. I still want to see." She does what he tells her to do. He then strokes his fingers on her foot and she starts laughing. He says to her, "Don't get angry at me, Aelita" and gets part of the sock off of her leg. It's still on her foot, though. He pulls the sock off of the heel and tickles it. Aelita laughs some more.

Meanwhile, Geddy is watching the Fuse music channel on TV and sees the F-List rate Rush's video for "Time Stand Still" as the Worst Video Ever Made. He yells to the TV, "You call my masterpiece a piece of crap? HOW DARE YOU!!!" and yells out very loud obscenities. He then grabs a frying pan from the kitchen and throws it into the middle of the TV. The screen implodes and then explodes onto the ground, some of the shrapnel landing on Geddy. Yumi walks into the living room, straight from the pool, and sees Geddy looking at the exploded TV. She yells to him, "Graham's going to need to get a new one, Gary Lee Weinrob!" Geddy replies, "Don't use my real name, Yumi! They rated my video as the Worst Video Ever Made! Don't they know it was from the 1980s, when they didn't have a life?" Yumi says to him, "I believe you, Geddy. Just don't explode TVs ever again."

Anyhow, Graham heard the sound while he was tickling his sister. He didn't mind. He replies to her, "At least I can buy a better one next time we go to Circuit City, which is going to be today" and stops tickling, the sock completely off of the foot. She slips it back on and says to him, "I feel a lot better, Graham. In fact, can you give me your credit card? I'm heading to Best Buy…. what occupation are you in?" Graham replies, "I'm a Senator of Florida, Aelita. I was the one who said that Terri's Law was unconstitutional. The guardian has a right to do away with his wife when she is in a PVS." Aelita ignores him and goes to the car with Graham. They head to the Best Buy, where they buy a plasma screen TV and put it in the car. They drive back and set it up…without any help whatsoever. It was good and had some pretty good quality. Also, they bought a Neil Young CD for Jeremy. He grabbed it from Aelita's hands and put it in the stereo's CD player. He then took off all of his clothes except for his boxers and started to dance to the songs. Graham stared at him and says, "Jeremy, you're freaking me out, just like Stephen Stucker in 'Airplane'. You're dancing in your underwear to a Canadian folk singer. How ironic." Jeremy stops dancing and says to Graham, "What? I had problems when I listened to Neil Young. My parents were going to divorce, so I picked out my dad's Neil Young CD and I danced to the rhythm to it. In fact, one of my favorites is 'Cinnamon Girl'. I think of Aelita when I hear that song."

Aelita blushes and replies, "Jeremy, that song is about female potheads, or 'cinnamon girls', and the male potheads that like them. You see, Neil did a bunch of beer and…nothing else, but his friends did drugs, so he criticized them in that song about their companions. Sorry if I broke your heart." Jeremy's face reddens in anger and yells to her, "You're a liar! You're a liar!" He then punches her in the stomach. She then barfs up the Italian food she had right next to him. Graham holds him back and Geddy takes Aelita to another room. He says to her, "Aelita, I knew Neil Young. In fact, I used to be buddies with him. It's just that you don't like Jeremy's fanatic-like following of Neil Young, don't you?" Aelita replies, "I do like Neil Young, but he just listens to it all of the time. Can't he listen to anything else? I mean, when he has a break, he's always dancing to Neil Young in his boxer shorts." Geddy then puts his hand on her shoulder and replies, "Aelita, you and I've known each other since 1989. Maybe you should try to change Jeremy's ways…just be Aelita Hopper, not Aelita Stones, Aelita Lyoko, Maya, or just plain Aelita. You need to be yourself." Aelita then walks out of the room and says to Jeremy, who's being scolded by Graham, "Jeremy, I know you've freed me from Lyoko, but I think it's time to date other people." Jeremy replies, "Aelita, you're the only love I had. I freed you so I can love you. In fact, I'm rated the #1 geek…on the popularity list. I'm not popular, but when I date you…you're popular, aren't you?" Aelita replies, "Yeah. I'm the track team star, yet I'm a fan of the most unpopular movie in France, 'Airplane'!" Graham stops and says to Aelita, "Aelita, Airplane's unpopular in France? Who told that? The president of BrandsMart USA?" Aelita then replies, "Yeah, but I told Sissi it's very funny. She says, 'No! Michael Richards is funny! I don't think he's going to heckle somebody soon! I even think Mel Gibson's funny! He isn't going to be racist!' The truth is…Airplane is funny hands down! Want to let me show you?"

She grabs out a DVD of the 1980 comedy farce that earned $80,000,000 in the box office at a budget of $3,500,000 and says to the gang, "Hey, Ulrich Stern! Yumi Ishiyama! Odd Della Robbia! Jeremy Belpois! Watch this!" They sit on the couch and Aelita starts up the film. Of course, with a little help from her friends, they all watched it and thought it was funny, making them some of the French people that like the hit movie.

END OF CHAPTER 15…sorry it was so freakin' long, guys. I got carried away.


	16. Ted Striker

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I'm sorry, guys, but this is going to be delayed for a while, but I'm still working on it. I wonder if somebody's reading this story other than 2 people: Seth and Ayletta the Lyoko Lover. I know Jake's trying to read it, but he's making his story…is anybody reading this story? Hello? Echo! Echo! On base, it's Ted Striker…oh wait. In fact, I'm working on a story to send to Tomi for approval if he wants me to work on it. It's supposed to be about the TPPR from two characters' (from the TPPR) points of view. In fact, it's T, like my other stories, due to some very crude humor, like Airplane!**

**Seth, start up Microsoft Outlook! Here's the band that we hate…Chapter 16!!!**

After the viewing of the 1980s classic comedy film, the gang was quoting lines from the film, mainly Peter Graves' lines to Joey and Leslie Nielsen's lines about the word "surely". After that, Graham says to the gang, "Guys, it's time to sleep for the night. Don't wait. We have a long day tomorrow. We need to decorate the house for Christmas!" They walk to some of the bedrooms and head to the beds. They get into them and start sleeping.

The next day, Aelita got up early, as usual, and started up the fireplace. She huddled around it and was warmed due to the heat flowing around her body. Abruptly, the doorbell rang. Aelita got up and opened it. It was Ted Striker, world famous, or at least comedy movie famous, airline pilot. She says to him, "Hello, Ted Striker. Why are you here?" He replies, "I'm here so I can help all of you decorate for the holidays. I happen to know Graham very, very, very, very, VERY well. He and I used to fly airplanes. I still do, but he's a Congressman for Florida now." He goes inside. His wife, Elaine, follows him, carrying a box full of Christmas decorations. Otto, the autopilot, who's supposed to be disintegrated as of 1997, follows Elaine with a box of Christmas lights. They set them on the couch and go to the kitchen. There, they see the button that plays "Helter Skelter" and Ted presses it. The song plays throughout the house and the gang heads to the kitchen, wondering who pressed the button.

At the same time, Graham got up, realizing that he slept too late, and puts his clothes on. He runs to the kitchen and sees Ted, Elaine, and Otto, but Otto is just an inflatable autopilot with a mind of his own. Ted says to Graham, "Hey, Graham! What's up?" Graham replies, "I'm doing good, pal. What's with Trans-American?" Ted replies, "Trans-American went bankrupt in 1987, Graham. I fly with US Airways now, wasting gas and loving my wife for 23 years, Elaine. Oh, and Otto wants us to take him with us. He's a great help, but a very inflatable one." Graham walks to the fridge and grabs out 4 Dr Peppers. He hands them to the guests. Ted opens his, but puts it to his forehead. Elaine repositions his arm to make the drink go to his mouth and he screams in pain. Graham says to him, "You still have that drinking problem, Ted?" Ted replies, "Yeah. It must be hereditary or something like that."

Aelita walks her room and dons a red and green shirt, but not striped, blue jeans, and her shoes. She comes out and sits next to Ted. Graham sits next to her and says, "Hey, Aelita. Remember these guys?" Aelita replies, "I know, Graham. It's Neil Young, Linda Ronstadt, and Otto, the lovable autopilot." Ted, who's listening, stops drinking and says to her, "Aelita, as your brother calls you, I think, I'm Ted Striker. Does that ring a bell?" Aelita replies, "I think so. Are you that very lousy pilot for US Airways? I've heard about you! In fact, we went here on an airline, Catastrophe Airlines." Ted ponders for a moment and then says to her, "Aelita, I am the lousy pilot for US Airways. In fact, Trans-American went bankrupt in 1987, but US Airways bought it. They also bought Catastrophe, Sky Tran, TWA, Oveur Airlines…I don't know why Clarence made that…and Concorde, along with the SST airplanes. Only Catastrophe, Trans-American, and Concorde are operating today. In fact, what made Catastrophe bankrupt was their way of flying. They'd get untrained pilots and make the planes out of parts that were in airplane crashes. They'd also fly in a dangerous style, but their landing gear was also on the top. It made a lady mess up on her makeup, so they got bankrupt due to lies. I flew some DC-10s for Catastrophe, then I moved to US Airways fulltime, only doing Airbus planes."

Aelita gets out a notebook and writes what Ted had said. Otto is aiming a gun to his head. Ted goes on, "Trans-American got bankrupt due to one of their planes, the Shirley, being landed by me, then a man trying to get rid of memories from the Vietnam War. I was pretty lousy, and then I was arrested and put in an insane asylum along with Steve and Rex. They thought they were Lloyd Bridges and Robert Stack, correspondingly. Also, the food on Trans-American's flights was awful! Even the steak tasted like crap! It also looked like crap! That's all…I hope I didn't bore you. Every time I talk, I always get carried away and always succeed in killing my listener by suicide." Aelita replies, "Ted, I didn't die. In fact, I thought your story was informational. It also prepared me for the test on bankrupt airlines coming next semester. I wondered what happened to Otto." Otto gets up, not killing himself, and grabs a can of Dr Pepper. He starts drinking it, as any inflatable autopilot would do.

After that, Graham goes to the living room and sees the gang watching TV. He says to them, "Put on your clothes, guys and girl. We're decorating!" The gang gets up and put on their clothes. Jeremy is the first one to be dressed and comes out of his room. He runs to the record player and puts on the record of "American Stars N Bars". He says to Graham, "I cured my Neil Young problem! I'm not dancing in my underwear again!" Graham looks at him and Jeremy is still in the habit, dancing in his boxers. Jeremy stops dancing and his clothes appear. He says to Graham, "It must be hereditary. My dad had the same problem when he'd listen to Neil Young. It must've happened when he was a baby, when Neil started performing with the Byrds." Graham then walks to him and replies, "Jeremy, you're right. It is hereditary, like Aelita's early bird-like clock. I have the same problem, but why I didn't…oh, screw it! Let's get our Christmas tree!"

He then rounds up the gang and takes them to the car. Elaine, Ted, and Otto get in their car and follow the gang to the tree farm. There, Graham gets a pretty big tree and tries to stuff it in Ted's car, but they tie it on the roof instead. They head back to Graham's house; stopping by Mrs. Winner's for some chicken biscuits and fries first. From there, they head on to the hacienda and stop in the driveway. Graham gets the tree and puts it inside the house. He hooks it on the tree stand and they get out the decorations. Aelita grabs out a decoration she made, a red sleigh with Karen Carpenter having a heart attack, in 1991. She hangs it and grabs a green bulb. She also hangs it. Ted, meanwhile, gets a Trans-American DC-10 ornament and hangs it on top of Aelita's homemade ornament. He then says to her, "Good thing I'm here and friends with Graham. You wouldn't have gotten that tree here very fast. Also, all of his family, on his mother's side, of course, since his dad…and you…went into some sort of virtual world back when Kurt died, comes here for Christmas dinner and we also participate, since we are his friends…" Elaine inserts, "…and that our relatives died in 9/11. That's why we come here for Christmas dinner. We also come to his aunt's for Thanksgiving and here for Independence Day. Did we see you?" Aelita replies, "I saw you at the Thanksgiving party. You and your husband were having a fun time, drinking…or at least, trying to drink. In fact, I was the barefooted girl there." Ted realizes the whereabouts of her and then says, "Oh. I now see. I even talked to you why you were barefooted around the house. You replied…"

Aelita then finishes, "I had a pedicure the other day and wanted to display it instead of taking pictures of it and putting it on the Internet. That would be stupid of me. I'm only 13, duh!" Ted puts his hand over his face and says to himself, "That girl's smart. She even remembers from back then." Aelita walks away to the living room and looks around Graham's stack of records. She then finds a record released by Vertigo Records, the Philips Records vanity label for progressive rock artists. Graham sees her and walks to the stack. He sits next to Aelita and says to her, "Aelita, I see that you're interested in records, the old format to put your music on…and to ruin your diamond-stylus needle. I also see that they make gold ones made of gold." Aelita puts the Kraftwerk record next to her and replies, "Graham, when you told me to be just Aelita Hopper, not my alter ego, you opened a door to my life…why did Dad spank me just because I had accidentally grabbed his box of records?" Graham looks around, hoping nobody was eavesdropping on the conversation, and whispers to her, "Aelita, Dad had very important floppies in that box and he didn't want you to find out. That's why he spanked you just for grabbing the box of records, even though it had your records in it."

Her eyes brighten in anger and she starts running tears down her face. She doesn't cry…yet. She replies to Graham, "You're telling me that Dad was a man that was more interested in the studies of making virtual worlds? That's why he spanked me? Why did he have to? Why?" and runs off, crying a river. Graham follows her, saying to her, "Aelita, Dad was just paranoid! He was! He was!" Aelita doesn't listen and goes to her room, where she hides in the closet and cries in secrecy. Also, Graham gives up trying to find Aelita and goes to the living room.

Later on, Aelita was still crying softly, but she was getting hot in the closet, so she took off her shoes and went to sleep in the closet. Geddy, unsuspectingly, goes into Aelita's room within her nap and lays his suitcase in there, as the room is his. He opens the closet to hang up his clothes and finds Aelita and her shoes in there, sleeping. He picks her up and throws her into the bed. He tucks her in and leaves, doing no harm. Aelita didn't even wake up. However, when Geddy steps away from the bed, Aelita wakes up from the nap and says to him, "HEY!!! Why'd you put me in this bed?" Geddy replies, "You were sleeping in the closet, so I did what's best." Aelita gets up and yells to him, "Geddy, did you…" The bass player for Rush stands still and replies, "I did not molest you, Aelita. I would never molest you. Why? I'm your friend." Aelita walks to him and hugs him. He says to her, "Why are you hugging me?" She then replies, "Geddy, thanks for telling the truth."

END OF CHAPTER 16


	17. Maturity The Hard And Most Comedic Way

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 17 (Yes, people. Chapter 17)

**Disclaimer: People who are reading the fanfiction, I need some popularity. Please read it! Please read it!!!! Oh…well, I'm writing this to put this on the Net, but nobody's reading it, so I need some popularity, so that's why I'm putting links of it on and my page on the Wiki…I think. Here's the story.**

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Aelita was happy. She was reassured that her friend was not trying to molest her. She was glad. Well, anyways, she went to the living room and sat on the couch, next to Graham, who's watching random stuff on the new television that replaced the one that Geddy Lee destroyed. Of course, he has a satellite hookup to it so he could watch his DirecTV and probably avoid another product placement like they do in those commercials…

"_GET ON WITH IT!!!"_

"_GET ON WITH IT!!!"_

"_COME ON, WILL YOU? GET ON WITH IT!!!!"_

_OK…geez._

Anyways, Aelita sat on the couch, placing her legs upon it. Suddenly, the TV switched to Fuse, currently playing a "Loaded" block of Sugar Ray videos from their first two albums (to me, the two best albums). She asks Graham, "Do you think that Lemonade and Brownies is the best album by Sugar Ray?" He answers, "No, sis. It's 14:59 that is the best. I do like their first two albums, though." She adjusts herself and lies down on the couch, feeling tired after that nap she took in depression. She soon starts sleeping soundly, although Graham was turning up the volume to wake her up. She wakes up later on after Graham had left the room and gets up from the couch. She walks to her room and changes her shirt. She puts on a black shirt advertising for Sublime, some toe socks, and her shoes. She grabs her iPod from her suitcase and puts it in the jeans pocket. She also gets her cell phone and puts it in her other jeans pocket. She walks to the front yard, where the car was still parked. Graham was in it, waiting for Aelita, along with the other gang, except for the band Rush, who was in another car. She gets in and sits next to Jeremy, who's clearly livid with her for sleeping 2 minutes late. She grabs out her iPod and puts the earbuds in her ears. She switches on the "hold" button and scrolls her thumb to "shuffle songs". There, she presses it, lays back, and listens to it while Graham takes off to Chili's, with Geddy, Alex, and Neil following them there.

During the ride, Graham stops at a stoplight and says to Aelita, "Aelita, did you know that you slept late…about two minutes, but I don't care. It's just a short amount of time." He turns left and heads into the Chili's parking lot, which is full. The party barely finds a parking space. They get out and head inside the restaurant. They wait for a table for 10 minutes and then go to their table. The waitress comes to them and says very happily, "Welcome to Chili's, home of the Baby Back Ribs and that very annoying jingle. I'm Sara, your server. What would you like to drink?" Aelita says to her, "I'd like to have a Dr Pepper."

"Pepsi," Geddy says.

"Mountain Dew," Ulrich answers.

"Root beer," Odd answers.

"Iced tea," Yumi answers.

"I want Mountain Dew, but with no ice," Alex answers.

"I want Sierra Mist," Neil answers, unwrapping his silverware and putting it on the table, putting the napkin instead on the lap.

"I want a Pepsi," Graham says to the waitress.

She walks off with the drink order.

Anyways, Alex says to Graham, "Hey, Graham. Thanks for taking us here, but why did it take Aelita so long to wake up? Isn't she supposed to be the early bird?" Graham is embarrassed, yet answers to Alex's questions, "Aelita inherited half of my mom's genes and my dad's genes. She is part-early bird, part-night owl, and all-Hopper. She can wake up early in the morning, but when she experiences something shocking, like me telling her that our dad, Franz Hopper, spanked her for stealing a box of records because they had important, Jacob Young-like papers, she cries and then goes to sleep. I don't know why. It's maybe that Lyoko probably retarded her maturity, so she still has the maturity of a 12-year-old, yet is a 13-year-old in DNA, but really is a 23-year-old as in age." Aelita heard the conversation and says to Graham, "So all because of Dad, I have the maturity level of a 12-year-old? Damn him!" Alex slaps her and yells, "Don't use those words, Aelita! They're bad, even for us Canadians!" Aelita stands up and shakes her fist in front of Alex.

She yells back, "You made me mad. Now I'm going to make you mad!" and punches him in the face. Alex falls down, gets up, and grabs Aelita by the torso. He, along with Geddy, Graham, and Neil, takes her outside and puts her face flat on the bench. He says to her, "Aelita, even though I'm your 52-year-old friend, I still have to discipline you! Why did you punch me?" Aelita starts begging, yet Geddy walks to her, picks up Neil, and uses him to spank Aelita. Aelita screams in pain and calls out to her brother, yet he says to her, "Aelita, you're getting punished for your rude behavior due to something I said." He grabs both Geddy and Neil and uses them to spank Aelita. She then cries out very shrillingly, "STOP! STOP!!" After 4 minutes of non-stop, gravity defying spanking, Alex stops and says to Aelita, "Look at me in the eyes, Aelita. Nobody's trying to hurt you, but you need to be disciplined, Aelita." She lands on the sidewalk and mutters, "Who's Aelita, Alex? I'm Gary Lee Weinrob of Dishwalla. Who the hell are you? Who the heck are you? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?"

The next day, Aelita was in her room, sleeping in her bed in a fetal position until she suddenly sees Geddy come into the room, taking her into a dream. She gets up and floats around as she has seen her maturity level rise from a 12-year-old's to a 14-year-old's. She says to Geddy, "Is this real?" He replies, "Yeah, Aelita. I think your mom's seeing you. You said you wanted to hug her one last time." Suddenly, the spirit of Aelita's mom, accompanied with some orchestratal music to wonder any autistic kid of any age, comes to her and says, "Aelita, I'm going to do this to let you try to mature. In fact, why I think you needed a spanking was that Geddy, using Neil as a paddle, wanted you to release your anger, your sadness, and your paranoid side that hates being tickled. Hug me. You'll remember it." Aelita walks to her and hugs her mother, then she drops down onto the ground and says, "Geddy, I feel like that math class is hard and that I should listen to other music other than Rush, but I'm your friend forever. Also, I have decided that Jeremy and Odd I will date; yet I will choose one of them. I don't know." Geddy picks her up and puts her in the bed. She sleeps a lot more.

Half a day later, Aelita wakes up and walks around the house. She sees her friends having a wondrous time, ignoring her due to her behavior against her dad at the Chili's. She walks over to them and says, "Hey, guys. I'm sorry for my errant behavior at the Chili's last night. Will you forgive me?" Jeremy stands up and yells to her, "NO, AELITA MELANIE HOPPER!!! I WILL NOT FORGIVE YOU!!! IN FACT, AFTER CHRISTMAS, YOU'RE GOING BACK TO THE REPLIKAS WHERE YOU BELONG, RETARDED ASSWIPE!!!!!" Aelita's eyes water up and she says to him, weepingly, "Jeremy, you don't care about me? YOU DON'T!!! YOU DON'T!!!!" She runs off, crying heavily. Yumi looks at Jeremy like he's a very big jerk and says to him, "She was having emotional troubles, Jeremy. That's no way to deal with her. What'd I do is to trade her iPod with your and then tickle her…you know." Jeremy sighs and yells back, "NO, ISHIYAMA!!! YOU ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO BE THE ATHENA OF THIS GROUP!! SHE DESERVES TO BE IN LYOKO!! WHO AGREES WITH ME?" No one raises his or her hand. Finally, Jeremy sighs and agrees, "Aelita doesn't need to be in Lyoko for eternity. She would be devastated. I'll do what Yumi said."

In Aelita's room, she is on the bed, crying out her anger. Jeremy walks in, and as she drifts to sleep, he switches her iPod with his. She doesn't notice the difference, except for the Neil Young songs, but she doesn't wake up. Jeremy grabs a feather and waves it on her left foot, and then on her right foot, which both have socks on. She laughs in her sleep. He does it bare and she starts laughing so hard that she jolts up and sees him. He smiles and runs off very fast. She puts on her flip-flops and chases him all over the house. He says to her, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Aelita stops in her tracks and says to Jeremy nicely, "Apology accepted. Now why'd you trade my iPod and tickle me?" Jeremy points to Yumi and she walks to her. She does the same fight sequence from "Airplane!" yet throwing Yumi into Neil Peart, throwing him into Geddy Lee, holding a frying pan, and throwing the pan into the TV. It breaks and Graham yells, "WHO BROKE THE TV AGAIN? WAS IT GEDDY LEE?"

Finally, after days of turmoil and Aelita getting used to her new maturity, it was Christmas…Eve. They had gone out to Jack in the Box for lunch and shopped for clothing for the Florida states, as Aelita still thanks Florida is in Canada. Well, she got some short-sleeved shirts, shorts, a bathing suit, and 2 pairs of sandals: flip-flops and…flip-flops, as she likes them. Well, anyways, it was snowing outside, unusual for Florida, and they went outside to play in the snow. They also made a snow-Jeremy, a snow-Aelita, and a snow-Jack Box. After about an hour of playing in the snow, they went inside and took off their jackets and sweaters. Graham adjusted the heat to about 75 degrees in the house and he turned on the radio to Orlando's only alternative station, 96.3 The Sonora, which was playing a whole day's worth of Pavement and Silver Jews songs. Aelita got herself a glass of eggnog, removed her wet shoes, and sat on the couch criss-crossed. Graham sat on the chair opposite of her. He says to the guests, "Friends, you cannot watch TV as I'm having one put in…again…at 8 at night, so you can listen to my records…" Jeremy heads to the record player and grabs out a Neil Young record and a Rush record. Graham continues, "…play religious games with your buddies…" Geddy and Alex got out the dredil and started playing with it. Graham continues, "…Do forms of meditation…" Odd removed his shoes and got into a stereotypical yoga position. Graham continues, "…or sit here with me and talk about random things. Alright!" and sees the guests doing his suggestions.

He diverts his attention to Aelita, who's drinking the eggnog, and says to her, "Hey, Aelita. Merry Christmas." She adds to his statement, "…and happy Hanukkah. Don't forget Geddy and I's religion." Graham replies, "Sorry, but at least I'm becoming a Senator of these United States next year. I'm turning 30." Aelita claps her hands and hugs him. She goes back to the couch and says, "I'm wonder what Geddy and Alex are doing…oh, yeah. They're playing with the dredil. I'm wondering what Yumi and Neil are doing."

Meanwhile, Neil and Yumi are in the other room, watching reruns of "My Name Is Earl" on Graham's laptop. Yumi laughs whenever Earl gets hurt very comically. She then removes her boots and walks to the living room, where Geddy and Alex are literally getting into a fight over the game. Finally, they rip off their clothes to reveal themselves in wrestling outfits and hot oil gets poured all over them. The unknown DJs Sean Demery, Robert Jenners, and Leslie Fram go to the table and start commentating on the hot oil wrestling between Merxst and Geddy. Jenners presses a button to play his "Things That Sound Dirty In NFL Football, But Aren't" article. Geddy yells to him, "Hey, Merxst! Watch out!" and does a piledriver on him. Alex attacks and does the Scorpion Death Lock on Geddy. Finally, after 5 minutes of hot oil wrestling, Graham yells to the bandleaders, "STOP THIS!!! YOU'RE ACTING LIKE IMMATURE FETUSES!" Geddy and Alex stop and don on their clothes before they became Uber strong men and started wrestling. Alex walks to Graham and says, "Geddy, he won." Geddy replies, "No, Merxst. You won." They get into an argument about who won and instantly redid the hot-oil-wrestling debacle again. Jenners gets up and sits next to Aelita. He then says, "Hey, girl. You've been to a Starbucks?" Aelita replies, "Yeah, Mr. Jenners. I have gone to the coffee shop. It is good, real good. Hi-five!" and hi-fives Jenners. He does the same, instantly acting like Borat.

Later on, at 8 at night, the Best Buy guys came and connected Graham's newest TV all up. They put in TiVo and all that. After all, Graham is a Representative being promoted to Senator. He can pay for it in full. After they left, he turned on the TV to TBS and started watching "A Christmas Story". Aelita was shocked. Graham wanted the TV connected at 8 at night so he could make everybody watch the 1983 cult classic. Graham then yells, "EVERYBODY, COME HERE! IT'S A FUNNY FILM!!" Everybody comes, with Yumi and Odd in Yoga outfits and Geddy in his pajamas. They all sit on the couch. Aelita says to everybody, "My bro's watching the movie, so you have to watch it with him. Got that?" Everybody agrees and they watch the film. They ended up liking it, but Aelita had already seen it…in the 1980s, so she had the film ruined in her mind.

After that, Graham looked at the clock and says to everybody, "It's getting late, guys. Maybe Santa missed all of you because you stayed up TOO LATE! THAT COUNTS FOR MY SISTER, TOO!" Everybody leaves the room, except for Graham, who sits on the couch and sleeps.

The next day, Aelita and Odd wake up, get out of their rooms, and sneak around the house barefooted to see if Santa had come yet. They found a whole roomful of presents, with Graham still sleeping soundly, and yell in excitement. Everybody else wakes up and wonders what in the hell that sound was, and then they go to sleep. Finally, Aelita takes drastic measures and presses the button that plays "Helter Skelter" inside the whole area of the house. Everybody then comes downstairs to see if Graham pressed it. They saw it was both Aelita and Odd. Yumi walks over to them and says to the pink-haired girl, "You woke us up?! Why?" Aelita replies, "Look at the tree!" Yumi turns her head and sees that Santa had came to their house. Everybody flocks over to the tree and starts opening the presents, covering the already awake Graham with wrapping paper.

Jeremy opened his and saw that he got Led Zeppelin, the band, not the album. He yells in excitement, "Yay! I got Led Zeppelin!" while Jimmy Page and Robert Plant try to divert his attention so they can get out of the box that's covering them. Geddy finds a gift wrapped in green paper and opens it. He gets a pair of bunny pajamas. Graham then says to him, "Come on. Try it on." Geddy refuses. Graham then yells at him, "TRY IT ON!!!" and Geddy does what he tells him to do. He goes into his room and comes out in the bunny pajamas. Alex, Neil, and Aelita are laughing manically while Graham looks at him like he's a deranged John Flannel from TMBG. He says to him, "You look like a pink nightmare! Take that off and burn it up! I never want to see anybody in it again!" Geddy gets it off and runs to his room, where he puts on some other clothes other than his pajamas. Graham also passes a present to Jeremy. He says, "You'll shoot your eye out!" and Jeremy opens it up to see an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock. Jeremy then aims it at a vase and shoots it. The BB bounces off of the vase, unharming it, but hitting Jeremy in the eye. Jeremy falls down and screams, "I SHOT MY EYE OUT!!!"

END OF CHAPTER 17


	18. The Miraculous Return of Franz Hopper

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: This chapter discusses some serious nightmares of Wesley Willis trying to kill you just because he's in another "hellride". Well, of course, since I've discussed Aelita in this Homeric comedy (Sorry, folks. No Odysseus in this story) so many, many, many times, I decided, "Well, let's just giver her a plot twist…or not.**

**Seth, light up the important papers that give us our freedoms! We're starting this thing!**

At the end of the holiday season, Aelita was happy that she got to spend Christmas and Hanukkah with her brother, Graham. It was on that day, before the start of school 2 days later, that Aelita packed her suitcase. She also put on some warm clothes and her black skate shoes and went to Graham's car, where he had so many CDs, including CDs by one of the world's most funniest outsider artists: Wesley Willis. She put in the CD titled "Fabian Road Warrior" and started listening to it.

About an hour later, Aelita put away the CD and went inside the house, where Graham was preparing hot wings, as he was a former profession chef who's recipes were in an Applebee's menu…

"GET ON WITH IT!!! WE'RE THE GOOD OL' BOYS, LED BY TUCKER McELROY, AND WE WANT THE BLUES BROTHERS DEAD!!!"

Anyways, Aelita went to the kitchen, kicked off her shoes, and sat down. She said to Graham, "Graham, is today actually the last day before we go tomorrow?" He replies, "Yeah, Aelita. You have to go to school. Well, good luck on trying to free Dad from the Internet." She then sighs and says, "It'll be hard, though. It'll be harder than demolishing the Dixie Square Mall. I remember when I saw Harvey. It was a ghost town. I hope somebody or something boosts up the popularity of it. Well, then. When can we eat?" Graham looked at the timer on the deep fryer and replies to his sister, "Now. They're done. Now go round up the others."

Aelita gets up and presses the button on the counter that plays "Helter Skelter" all around the house. Odd, Yumi, Ulrich, and Jeremy run to the kitchen to see what is the commotion. As you can see, Rush left the house after Hanukkah so they can go in the studio to record a new album. Of course, Graham was happy because he didn't have to take care of 3 Canadians that were on AARP insurance (all of them are over 50 years old), but Aelita wasn't. In fact, she cried when they left because they had matured her to the age of 13 years old.

During dinnertime, Aelita's stomach felt sick, so she put up her plate and says to the gang, "I'm going to go rest for a while. My stomach doesn't feel so good." She went to her room, put on her pajamas, and got into her bed. She got her iPod, put the earbuds in her ears, and turned it on. She fell to sleep instantly. Of course, Graham saw her and hugged her. He even gave her a kiss on the cheek. She replied in her sleep, "Was that you, my love for life? Oh, no! You're not him! You're…AAAAUGH!!! AAUGH!!! AAUGH!!!" and rolled in her bed like she was having a seizure. Graham saw her do that in horror. Finally, she stopped as she woke up with a very loud scream that pretty much shook the world.

Graham walked over to her and said, "Aelita, what's wrong? What's wrong?" She replies in a shaken voice, "I had a nightmare, Graham. I dreamed that we found Daddy, but then William, our new recruit, tried to tell the secret to everybody in France. How come France is against Franz Hopper?" Graham sighs and then says to Aelita, "Let me tell you this. They hate him and you just because they commissioned Dad to make a defense mechanism, but he deleted it because the United States didn't like him making stuff for other countries. They wanted some of it. Well, he wasn't banned. He just needed a bigger place to make a protection world, Lyoko, but I got out before I could have my memories removed."

The next day, Graham dropped off her friends at the airport. He says to them, "Try to send me a gift basket when you get there!" Aelita replies, "Okay!" They walk to the terminal, where they get checked for any terror-or-terror-related objects, including Richard Reid's shoes and any people that have plans exploding planes. They are clear. They walk to the lobby, where they wait for their flight to come, which is an overnight one. Finally, the plane comes and they go to Gate 23 (if you check your DVD copy of Airplane, that's where Flight 609 for Trans-American was supposed to land, but due to Ted Striker, it landed farther down). They go inside the plane and it took off. It took them a while to get there.

Meanwhile, on the plane, Aelita slept and she had a nightmare:

She was riding a plane like this one we're talking about in the story, but she then sees a video by Wesley Willis. He jumps out at her and yells, "You make me have another warhellride! Now you're going to pay! Now you're going to pay! Now you're going to pay! Now you're going to pay! Rock over London! Rock on, Chicago! Wendy's: Where's the beef?" Aelita screams. She gets up from her seat and runs away from Wesley Willis, but he gets closer every foot she runs. Finally, he tackles her and drags her to the cockpit, where the pilots reveal themselves to be more Wesley Willises. They put her on a table set up in the room and strap her onto it. They get a pair of bolt cutters and remove her boots. Aelita gulps, as she knows what they're going to do. She holds on to the table and shivers. The Wesley Willis clones grab out two feathers and rub them all across. They rub them on her left foot, then her right foot. She laughs very hardly as they're doing this.

_Finally, one of the clones says to another clone, "Should we remove her socks?" Aelita hears this and wiggles out of the restraints on the table. She runs out of the cockpit and heads to her seat, where Jeremy says to her, "What did Wesley Willis do to you?" Aelita replies, "He tried to tickle me for unsaid reasons!" Jeremy turns his head to reveal that he is another Wesley Willis clone and he sings "Alanis Morisette" so badly that he turns everybody on the plane into Wesley Willis clones, except for Aelita. She runs to the cargo load, gets into her suitcase, and put on her other shoes. She comes out of the cargo load and sees all the Wesley Willis clones. They yell, "Say rock!" Aelita replies, "Rock!" and they head to her as to do a headbutt. She runs through them and heads to the bathroom, where she yells, "Touchdown!!!" and it ejects her into the sky. She falls down at a rapid pace with all of the Wesley Willis clones following her. She lands in her dorm, where there are more Wesley Willis clones trying to kill her. They strap her on her bed, remove her shoes and socks, and rub a feather all over her right foot and her left foot. She laughs so hard that she…_

Wakes up from her dream. The plane is landing in France. Aelita's forehead is sweating like crazy. Odd is listening to her iPod, trying to find any Subsonics on it, but all he finds is Joe Walsh and many other great guitarists from the 1970s. He gives it back to her and says, "I was listening to it. I asked you, but you were saying something about Wesley Willis trying to tickle you for unsaid reasons. Well, we're here in France." The plane comes to a stop and all of the passengers get off of it, grabbing their luggage at the luggage claim. Aelita leads the others to her Mercedes-Benz and they go inside it. She ignites it and turns the radio setting to CD, which is playing Joe Walsh's greatest hits. She rocks out to it while paying attention to the road, only stopping at the gas station for a Pepsi and a hamburger. She gets back in the car and says, "Well, if you want to get something, go!" The gang, except for Aelita, walks out and goes inside the gas station to get something to eat. They walk back to the car with a Jack In The Box bag in their hand and buckle themselves in. Aelita turns on the car and tunes the radio to 96.1 The Hinder, with Jeremy's brother, Thomas, as the main DJ.

At the moment, they're having a contest on who can drink the most water without going to the bathroom. Aelita gets so mad that she grabs her cell phone and dials the station. She yells, "You don't want to do this! I had a dream recently that a mom will die of water intoxication trying to win the Nintendo Revolution in California! Stop the contest!" The radio station, in reply, stop the contest, giving the contestants all an XBOX 360 and a bathroom break. They had listened to Aelita's advice. Finally, they pull up at the school, where Aelita parks the car and gets out. They walk to their dorms and go inside their rooms. In Aelita's room, she puts her suitcase on the floor, put the Pepsi bottle, still full, in the mini-fridge. She got out her pajamas and took off her clothes, except for her undergarments. She slipped on the pajamas, took off her socks, and put her socks in the laundry basket. She got into the bed and started to sleep, but then, the wake up call, which was the song "Foxey Lady" by Jimi Hendrix, was playing. She was very annoyed and went back to sleep.

In Mrs. Ono's class, she is counting roll, but then she keeps repeating Aelita's name in the manner of Ben Stein. Sissi then replies to Yoko, "She may be sick today. She has very bad jetlag." Meanwhile, in Aelita's room, she is sleeping soundly as she hadn't had any good sleep in days. She woke up joltingly as she had enough sleep for the day. She got out of her bed, put on a pair of jeans, her pink hoodie, some clean socks, and her black shoes. She ran out of her room with her books and ran across the campus to the music class. She comes in as Yoko is calling roll. She sees Aelita and says, "You're late, Aelita. Why?" Aelita replies, "I slept late. Sorry for the inconvenience." Yoko hands her a pink slip and says, "You have detention today for 2 hours because you were late…for the 5th time! I hope this'll cause you not to come here late!" Aelita grabs the slip and walks to her seat very angrily.

At the end of the day, she walks back to her room, all angry with Yoko. She had to suffer detention today from 3-5 pm and she missed the soccer game. She slammed her books onto the floor and yelled out, "WHY DOES EVERYBODY HATE ME?" She lands on her bed and starts crying, but not with her pillow blocking her face. She is literally streaming tears down her red face. Finally, Jeremy walks in her room and says, "Aelita, what's wrong?" She yells to him, "JEREMY, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I NEVER HAD DETENTION IN MY LIFE!! IF MY DAD HEARS ABOUT THIS, I'M GOING TO DIE!!!" and cries so hard that Jeremy covers his ears to deafen the sound. After Aelita cries, he replies, "Don't worry. We won't free him that soon." Suddenly, Sissi comes and opens Aelita's door. She says, "I found out something! March is when our dads have to come!!!" and closes the door. Jeremy then says to Aelita, "We need to free him by then, though."

On a day, after so many trials and errors, Jeremy rounded up the gang, which included as of then Paul, Yoko, Ringo, Alex, Geddy, Neil, and Sissi, and put them in Carthage, where they got transported to where William was, wreaking havoc. When he saw them enter, he yelled, "You guys! My friends… which aren't friends no longer! I shall destroy you by Jawbox!" and pressed a random button. It started playing "Cooling Card" by Jawbox and as the song played on, the fight grew longer.

At that same time, an old Nobel Peace Prize winner from Transylvania, Elie Wiesel, was stumbling upon the factory when he saw the scanner room. He got in one of those scanners and it sent him to the Replikas of Lyoko. His form turned out to be his regular self, but he sees the monsters as Nazis. (If anyone of you raises their hand and says to me, "Mr. TGIE, you're being anti-Semitic!" I'll reply, "I'm not!" That's how Elie Wiesel was raised. He was taken to a concentration camp, but was freed and made some really good books about dire moments in the camps. In Lyoko, he has the vision of seeing the monsters as his enemies so he can destroy them.) He then draws his sword out and slices all of the monsters in half and then meets up with the other people, which William is defeating them by the hotcakes.

Elie then says to William, "Young man, stop hurting my friends!" William stops and aims his sword at him. He says, "Old man, take a look at my life! I'm a lot like you!" Elie gets cheesed off and yells back, "I've been through worse, young man! I've been in concentration camps and I still have nightmares about that night, the first night in camp, when I saw bodies burning!" William replies, "Okay, old man. I'm going to kill your friends, anyways" and proceeds to attempt to destroy the gang forever, trying to wipe out the remaining Beatles (so Michael Jackson keeps the Beatles catalogue until he dies), Rush, and the Lyoko gang. Elie draws out his sword, and as William fires, he hits William in his back, the vulnerable part of his virtual body. The gang is relieved. They run to Elie and yell in excitement, "Good job, Elie! You sure used your smarts to defeat him!" William gets up and aims his sword at Elie. He says, "I heard screaming and bullwhips crackin'! You ain't going to live, old man!" and fires at Elie. Elie fires back, causing an equalization of powers that seemed to last for ages. During that waste of time, the faux-credits played while a mediocre American rapper starts rapping about the whole book and how he can't zip his pants, so the people make fun of him at his concerts as the guy who can't zip his zipper.

Also, the faux-credits credit such people as Tommy Zarna as "Passerby #76", Seth Sullivan as "Disclaimer guy", and Joe Walsh as "President of America". Also, when it mentions Dylan Britt and Kevin of some church praise band, they go into an argument on who's the real man who can get the ladies. After that, they stop the credits and go back to the story.

Jeremy is already asleep and in the centers of the Replikas, the gang is already asleep, Aelita sleeping in a cave, taking off her black gloves. William and Elie are still having their powers equal. Suddenly, out of nowhere, yellow orbs of light walk to William and push him out of balance, making him be hit by Elie's attack. The orbs then yell to William, "William Dunbar, you tried to kill my daughter!" Suddenly, XANA leaves William's body and leaves it there, cold. William wakes up and says, "What did I try to do? I know that when that jellyfish thing possessed me, my mind went blank and I went evil because of it. Who's your daughter?" Aelita, putting on her gloves, walks to William and says, "I'm the daughter of these orbs. He's my dad. We both went in on June 6, 1994 and I haven't seen him since." XANA, who's seeing this, yells out, "Save yourselves! I'm going to die!" Jeremy then presses the materialization button and suddenly, everybody gets materialized.

Down in the scanner room, the scanners open with Aelita and Franz in 2 of them, while the others are shot out of the third scanner, making them have concussions and other bad stuff like that. Jeremy goes down there to see all of the commotion, and he sees Aelita and Franz sitting on the floor, waiting for the others to get up. Jeremy says, "Hey, Franz. I found your daughter in Lyoko 2 years ago by accident." William gets up and says, "Jeremy, I'm sorry for the way I acted in Carthage. I'm not much of a fool, though." Aelita yells to him, "But you thought you could destroy the way of how I could get my memories back after I got them back, eh?" Suddenly, the power goes off and Franz says to the gang, "XANA had died, guys. He has done his worst. You can all live your lives now. I'm going to go back to my house and repair it after what the FBI did to it…are they still angry at me?" Aelita then answers, "No. They're not. As a reward, maybe we should go somewhere very exciting to have a celebration dinner, somewhere like…PIZZA HUT?" Everybody cheers in excitement.

Aelita leads them upstairs to the entrance of the factory and to the parking lot at Kadics. Aelita, her dad, Jeremy, William, Odd, Ulrich, and Yumi get into Aelita's Mercedes-Benz. The others get into their respected cars. Aelita and the others head to the Pizza Hut in Bologune-Billancourt, but it's been closed by the Gin Blossoms…for a private concert for 96.1 The Hinder's Live Hinder, a rip-off of 99x's Live X. Aelita heads to the Pizza Hut in Paris and they stop there. They park and go inside. The attendee at the counter says to them, "What are all of you people doing here?" Paul says, "We're having a celebration for the heck of it!" Franz adds, "We want the deluxe celebration package with 100 pizzas and each of us a Pepsi!" Everybody yells, "Dr Pepper!" The attendee says to them, "Okay, then. Let me contact the others at the Bologune-Billancourt location that the Live Hinder is going to be there and that the Gin Blossoms and Deftones are playing here!" Everybody cheers as the attendee calls and informs the changes.

A few minutes later, the radio station crew comes inside the restaurant with the help of Sean Demery, Robert Jenners, Will Pendavaris, and Fred Toucher. They grab out a pole and set it up. They also set up the broadcast equipment for the concert. The bands that the attendee mentioned come inside and sit next to the gang. Of course, the Gin Blossoms couldn't come, so Relient K was their replacement. Also, the listeners who bought tickets to the Live Hinder came in and sat down. The chef came out and gave the pizzas to the listeners, the bands, the radio station workers, the then-current-and-former 99x jocks, and the gang. They also gave out the drinks. Sean walks to Aelita and says, "Hey, Aelita. You've been listening to more 99x?" She replies, "Yeah, Sean. I think Fred's funny." Fred walks to her and says, "You think so, intern? Well, look at me! I'm a HULKAMANIAC!!! METABOLISM IN THE HOUSE!!!" After that were the good times, with Aelita filming of what was the first Sean-Demery-in-his-activity-shorts-pole dance and Relient K writing new songs for their album, Five Score and Seven Years Ago.

After all of that, Aelita was still Aelita Stones, even with her dad free. Her dad named himself "Franz Stones" and moonlighted as a science teacher while rebuilding the Hermitage. Soon, it was completed. On the day when Franz moved all of his new furniture and a piano to the house, everybody that was friends with Aelita watched as Franz made the Hermitage his new home again. Even Graham came, saying to his dad, "Welcome back to Earth, Dad" while in tears. Franz hugged him and replied, "It's good to see that you're a Senator, Graham, of the United States. Be wise." Graham, who also brought his Senator friends Barack Obama and Dick Cheney to the open house, says to Franz, "Here are my friends I met in office, Dad. Please welcome Vice President Richard Cheney and Senator Barack Obama." They all shake hands with Franz. Barack says to him, "I remember you! You were that Hopper Computers guy! You sold some great computers! I even still have mine!"

At the end of the year, things just got better for Aelita. First off, her dad gave her a new phone: The Verizon Time Bandit, named after the 1981 Terry Gilliam hit. She thanked him for the gift and then programmed her friends' numbers in the phone. Also, she started playing with the Pop-Rock Progressives full-time, replacing Yumi as the lead singer because, little did they know, Aelita sang better than her. She got her guitar and started playing less like Chet Adkins and more like Joe Walsh, Alex Lifeson, and Jimi Hendrix altogether. They even had a couple of concerts in which the crowd really liked them.

Yes, all those things were good for Aelita, except for one thing: Would she ever get a record deal? Is William Dunbar really William Alpert, the son of Herb Alpert? Why is she asking all of these rhetorical questions? Well, it happened to be one day in May, the final day of school. Aelita would have track practice today. She didn't want to have a handicap, not now, so during freetime, she ran to her dorm, took off her shoes and socks, painted her nails pink, put on some shell anklets, and put on her pair of flip-flops. She then ran out, going to classes in summer attire. It was the last class of the school year: music class. She went to it not too early, not too late, and did her finals. She got a good grade on them. Also, Jeremy was also dressed for the summer in a Jimi Hendrix t-shirt, cargo shorts, and his blue shoes. He also got a good grade, but not as good as Aelita's. Finally, they went out of class and ran to the dorms. Jeremy then says to her, "Don't worry, Aelita. You can stay at my house during the summer." Aelita gave him the thumbs-up. She went into her room and turned on her laptop. She logged on Yahoo Mail and clicked on the message that Jeremy had sent her a year before. It read:

**Dear Friend,**

**  
What's up? You know our schedule, Aelita? Of course, you don't. I do. It's….**

**September:**

Trip to Auschwitz 

**October:**

**Odd's Halloween Party**

**November:**

The Annual Stern Thanksgiving Bashout And American Football Game 

**March:**

**Probably another day we can find your dad**

**May:**

End of the year dance with…HERB ALPERT playing!! 

**Are you excited? Are you experienced? Do you have a gun in your hand, Joe? Then get busy and start getting prepared!**

Aelita was confused. She had never heard of this before. Suddenly, another message popped on the screen. It read:

Hey, Aelita! 

**How's it going? Well, we just found out about a Herb Alpert concert today! He's performing at the dance this evening, so be prepared! I'll shoot, if we have a song to play, our song on my camera!**

**Yours truly and probably awesome,**

**Odd.**

**P.S: Ulrich says "Hello." I say "Something's in the way…hmmmmm."**

Aelita was excited. A Herb Alpert concert? Why? Maybe it was William. Maybe it was the principal's secret job. Maybe it was her dad. Well, anyways. She turned off her computer and went to her cabinet. She got her iPod and went out the door, heading towards Jeremy's room.

END OF CHAPTER 18


	19. We Got A Record Deal With Herb Alpert

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper 

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 19

"Jeremy!!! He's here!!! My pop idol!!!" Aelita screamed as she ran to Jeremy while he was working on improvements on the Overboard, the Overwing, and the Overbike, the vehicles in Lyoko that the warriors, Odd Della Robbia, Ulrich Stern, and Yumi Ishiyama, used. Aelita Hopper, also known as Aelita Stones at the school they go to, Kadics Junior High, is the "princess" of Lyoko, protecting it, but Jeremy had found a way to put her on Earth, but with some missing memories in her. However, she got them back with her father's sacrifice for his daughter and she is trying to tell the secret of Lyoko to the other students around Kadics. Jeremy and his friends, however, are trying to stop her because they killed XANA, the supercomputer that tries to everywhere they go, and are trying not to tell it to everybody.

Anyways, Jeremy was at his computer, working on the…. oh, wait. Did I say this part already? Anyways, Aelita hugs Jeremy and sits on his bed while waiting for Jeremy to get done with tinkering with his crap, but Jeremy heard what Aelita said about the pop idol that she loved so he said, "You mean the Tijuana Br , Herb Alpert?" Aelita is very ticked off, but she says, "Yes, Jeremy. It's Herb Alpert and he's playing some of his trumpet music at the dance tonight." Aelita then leaves the room and Jeremy stays in his room, and thinks, "How in the heck is that A&M Records artist playing at our school?"

Now to Aelita, who's going into her room, she opens the door and on the walls, every Herb Alpert poster is up, including his gold records and a poster for Soundgarden. I can tell you one thing: She was a big fan for A&M Records artists, except The Black Eyed Peas, a rap group on A&M. On her desk was a laptop with iTunes on it and it includes every Herb Alpert and Soundgarden song on it. She plugs out her iPod and gives it a test run. It had the songs on there, alright, so she takes off her red boots and lays them next to her bed. She tucks herself into bed and takes a long nap while listening to "Whipped Cream And Other Delights", a Herb Alpert album mostly known for its controversial cover, a girl that seems in a bunch of whipped cream.

However, in 1989, Esquire Magazine did an article about "Whipped Cream" and told some facts that made fans bummed for life: That wasn't whipped cream she was dipped in; it was shaving cream, and she was 3 months pregnant. Aelita didn't care, but woke up in the middle of Love Potion #9. She was sweating all over her body. She still remembered the daydream…

"_Aelita, don't go into my vinyl records!" Franz Hopper said to his daughter, Aelita, who was about to grab at many vinyl records, which included a few Herb Alpert LPs. She, however, grabbed 10 of them and they dropped on the floor next to her shoes and socks. Franz was steaming mad and furious at the same time, so he spanked her. Aelita tried to shimmy, but he kept holding her really hard. Finally, he stopped and grabbed a vinyl record of "Whipped Cream and Other Delights" by the master Herb Alpert himself. He put it in his hi-fi stereo and glued headphones to Aelita's ears. She kept trying to pull them off, but the music made her weaker and finally, she fell asleep on the floor…_

Aelita was shocked that her dad tortured her by listening to Herb Alpert, but she liked him anyways. She finally got out of her bed, took off her clothes, except her underwear and bra, and changed into a t-shirt that had the "Whipped Cream" album cover on it, blue jeans, and Converses. She felt like a Californian all dressed up, but she interrupted thoughts in her mind and went to Jeremy's room, where he was sitting on his bed, dressed up in a blue t-shirt, jeans, and his shoes. He said, "Hey, Aelita. I like the way you're dressed. Can we go out for coffee at Starbucks tonight?" Aelita sat right next to him and said, "After the dance, Jeremy. I feel like something big is going to happen tonight. Maybe we could get our band signed onto A&M. What do you say?" Jeremy was confused. He had never heard the term _"Our band"_ from Aelita before today and he didn't know what is the "A&M" that Aelita was talking about, but he did know that it was used for an old record label that Sheryl Crow was signed onto. Jeremy said, "Aelita, I don't understand what 'Our band' means and what you're talking about an 'A&M'."

Aelita was shocked to hear that he never did learn about how she joined the other gang's band, the Pop-Rock Progressives, and how they wanted to be signed onto A&M Records so badly; even Aelita started studying what A&M Records is. She didn't study about its other name, Carnival Records, and how her idol, Herb Alpert, founded the label along with partner Jerry Moss, the "M" of A&M Records.

As you see, Herb and Jerry founded the label in 1962 as Carnival Records, and released a Herb Alpert solo recording and some other artist's single, but due to them finding out about another label named Carnival Records, they renamed it to A&M Records, but the writings of most songs by Herb himself had Almo Productions as its publisher. That told a sign of things to come in 1994, as Herb and Jerry made a new "A&M Records" called Almo Sounds Records. Bands like Garbage signed on, but in 2002, it folded into Geffen Records, its distributor in the United States. Herb and Jerry soon retired and earned bunches of money from A&M, Giacomo, aka Jerry Moss' horse, and Herb's re-released albums.

Aelita goes outside to the school grounds and sees her dad sitting on the bench strumming a guitar. She goes to him and says, "Hey, Dad. Why are you strumming a guitar?" He stops and says to her, "I wanted to be a musician, Princess, but I accidentally took computer classes, so I got here. Good luck at the show, Aelita." She blushes and says, "Thanks, Dad." She runs off to downtown Bologune-Billancourt and sees Yumi sitting at the Haagen-Dazs ice cream shop in her summer clothing: a shirt, short shorts, and flip-flop sandals with black nail polish on her nails. She says, "Hey, Yumi. How's it going?" Yumi says, "Good, Aelita. The waiter is coming out with my dulce de leche ice cream in a minute. What do you want?" Aelita says, "Neapolitan. I feel mixed today because of that concert…OH GOSH!! IT'S HIM!!!" and looks at the next table. 2 men in their 70s, one of them holding a trumpet, are eating margarita flavored ice cream. The trumpet player says to the other man, "Hey, Jerry. It's the good act in France, but where's the other members?" Jerry says to the trumpeter, "Herb, they're under 20. Some of them are in the dorm. Let's meet with the pink-haired girl. She may give some spice to A&M Records, the best spice ever. The pop groups on there don't good." Both of them get up from their seats and go to Aelita. Herb says to her, "Hello, Aelita." and she faints.

In Yumi's house, Aelita wakes up in her bed and sees Herb and Jerry standing next to her. Her eyes widen, she jumps up, and says, "I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?" Herb punches her in the stomach and says to her, "Stop pulling a Hammy, Aelita. We're here to sign you and your band to A&M Records for a United States, Japan, Australia, and South America-only contract. You're already signed to Apple for Europe, but to not confuse the reader of this book, we can sign the contract later when the band is here." She says, "Okay." and runs back to the school.

In the school, the students are cleaning the whole gym for the dance and the Herb Alpert mini-concert. In the boys' bathroom, Ulrich, Jeremy, and Odd are cleaning the toilets with toothbrushes while a man named Sam watches them. Ulrich takes off his shirts, puts on a shaggy-haired wig, and goes out of the stall. He yells, "Inspection!" and Sam goes in there. He checks the toilet and puts in more toilet cleaner. He says to Ulrich, "Not good enough. Clean it more!" and Ulrich starts cleaning it. Sam walks over to two teenagers cleaning urinals and says, "Good. You can go out." Both of them go out of the restroom and Sam says, "Alright! Y'all can go!" All of the students cleaning the restroom go out of it and Sam turns off the light. He says, "Rise and shine, boys!" and runs into a wall.

Meanwhile, Aelita is walking down the sidewalk heading towards the school and sees a Dairy Queen on her left. She goes inside and sees the 2 urinal cleaning teens eating ice cream and playing the bass. She walks out and heads toward the school.

When she reaches the gates, they close and she says, "Let me in! Let me in!" The principal, Jean-Pierre Delmas, says, "No. You're locked out, even if Herb crashes into the gates." Ironically, Herb drives his car into the gates and misses the principal by a millimeter. Aelita walks into the school grounds and goes inside the gym. In there, the people are dancing to a DJ's mix, mostly on the song "One Piece At A Time" by Johnny Cash. She walks over to him and punches the heck outta him. She takes over the control booth and puts on "Spanish Flea". The students then start dancing to the song and she walks to her friends.

Herb comes into the gym and makes the students faint in excitement. He goes to the stage and starts playing the trumpet to "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life". All the kids get up and get out lighters to sway to the song. At the end of the song, the crowd cheers and he starts speaking into the microphone. He says, "Now to welcome Kadics Junior High School's only alternative pop-rock band with an edge of Soul Asylum and those blues-rock-playin' boys from Texas, please welcome the band The Foxtrot Fanatics!" The curtains recede to reveal Ulrich on rhythm guitar, Odd on bass, and Nicholas on drums, and Yumi on keyboards, and Aelita on guitar and vocals. Yumi walks to the microphone and says, "It's the Pop-Rock Progressives, Mr. Alpert. I'd like to thank you for doing mouth-to-mouth on Aelita earlier this afternoon." Aelita then blushes and walks to the microphone, where Yumi backs away and gets on keyboards. Aelita says to the crowd, "Alright, you students here at Kadics, stand up and start moshing, because we ain't putting up with crappy crowds!" and starts playing her guitar in an alt-rock mannerism. The band follows with her and they start playing a song that Yumi and Odd wrote that you heard in the episode "Seeing Is Believing". The song is named "Love Affair", not "Mystery Girl From Another World", and the tune has been changed so it can resemble an alt-rock song, so the hard-rock guitars are taken out and grungier versions are heard. Aelita then sings:

"_Mystery girl from another world,_

_She wanted happiness and not a lot of stress._

_Strength that's true and a love affair for you,_

_I think she wanted that more than you can say…_

_She played in a band that worshipped her idol._

_Her idol was her boyfriend who told her about his world._

_He communicated her through a computer._

_He even transported her to the real world._

_She came here not for the cats or Peter Frampton._

_She came here for her boyfriend._

_I think her boyfriend's name was Billy Shears,_

_And they both had a love affair for each other."_

The band then played an instrumental and Aelita said to the crowd, "You better keep on moshing, because we are the Who of today!!!" After the instrumental, she sang:

"_She loved Billy more than you can love me._

_She even loved his band, the Lonely Hearts Club._

_She loved his role as the drummer,_

_But she despised it and played Peter Frampton's guitar._

_One day, he said that he was moving away._

_After that, she cut herself on the arms every day._

_She then asks Paul for some advice._

_He said, "You can't make him stay; you gotta live and let die."_

_She loved Earth more than you can imagine._

_She was filthy, yet Billy still loved her._

_He was a hippie and joined with her._

_They have a love affair for each other."_

Aelita then plays the harmonica and Odd and Ulrich then sing on background, "She's better than Oasis." The band get into another instrumental, except with a talk box solo by Aelita with a whammy bar outro. She then sings:

"_As she waited by the bus stop for him,_

_She had a feeling he isn't going to come._

_She then started to walk away and then saw the bus._

_Billy got off and she saw that he grew a beard._

_He said to her that he made a band in Texas._

_He made their name ZZ Top._

_She then said, "I love you even though you moved away."_

_She then kissed him on the lips._

_She has dirty socks and wears no shoes at all._

_She's not like me, yet wait and see._

_I may turn into her, but then I might not._

_I may have a love affair for Billy Shears."_

As the band started playing the outro to the song, Aelita then did another talk box solo and said to the crowd, "Keep on dancing!" As the band wrapped up the song by the keyboard ending, which sounds like a Steely Dan song, the crowd went wild and cheered for them. Herb then walked on stage with Jerry Moss and says to Aelita, "Your band was great, Aelita! In fact, you deserve a 5 CD contract with us! You know what? You're gonna get it!" He then gives her a contract and she sees the logo for A&M Records. She then goes nuts and signs it. The rest of the band soon follows and Herb says to them, "Since this is the last day of school, you can come with us on an airplane to Los Angeles, California. Even though this may have been in another story that the author was writing at the same time as this one, this is not so ed."

After the dance, the band went to Starbucks to talk to Herb and Jerry about the record deal. As Aelita was sipping on a frappucino, she saw Jeremy talk it out with Herb and Jerry. Herb says to the computer geek, "Jeremy, you can be the A&R director for this band ONLY…is that what you wanted?" Jeremy says, "Yes, Mr. Alpert. I just wanted to be an A&R director for the Pop-Rock Progressives. When are we going to leave?" Herb, with a smile on his face, says, "Tonight at 8:30…get into the limo. We're leaving now." The gang gets into the limo, Herb and Jerry climb into the limo right next to them, and they take off to the airport.

At the airport, the gang goes through the security checkpoints and boards the private jet that Herb and Jerry own. They sit in the seats in the main seating area and Aelita, however, sits next to the window where she can see the city and the school from the airport. She says, "I've never been to America before, much less heard of the 70s band America, who made "A Horse With No Name" and other hits like that." Jeremy sits next to her and she says, "I don't like you that much. You don't have to sit next to me." She then buckles her seatbelt and the stewardess then walks to their row. She says to Jeremy, "Please buckle your seatbelt, mister." Jeremy says to her, "Lex Luthor doesn't need a freakin' seat belt, missy!" She says back to him, "Lex Luthor flies his airplanes, idiot…please buckle it!!!" He says to her, "Shut up, lady!" and doesn't buckle his seatbelt. The plane then takes off into the sky and he is jolted backwards into Ulrich's seat.

Aelita, after seeing this and when the plane was in a regular flying position, unbuckles her seatbelt and walks to Ulrich, which Jeremy is sitting on. She picks him up and puts him in his seat, where his face is in a mad state of manner. He says to her, "I'm mad, so don't kiss me!!" She says, "I wasn't going to kiss you, dang it!" and walks to the empty seat next to Odd. She sits in it and says to him, "You know, Jeremy may be a selfish brat." He says, "I know, Aelita. I know."

As the airplane lands on the tarmac of LAX International Airport in Los Angeles, California, Aelita is in her new seat, all bucked up and her suitcase next to her. She says to Odd, "We're here in California. You can unbuckle your seatbelt and get your luggage." All of the gang get their luggage and climb out of Herb and Jerry's jet. Aelita then sees California and she is thrilled at it. She is surprised at how the city looks and sees the UMG building in the distance. She says, "Is that where A&M Records is headquartered?" Herb, who's next to her, says, "Yes, it is. You'll be staying at the hotel about a half a mile away from it." The gang then gets into the limo that says "Alpert and Moss" and gets driven to the Ritz-Carlton. The gang then gets their luggage and goes inside the hotel. They walk to the counter and Aelita says, "We need three 2-person rooms." The counter man gives her 3 keys and she gives them to Ulrich and Nicholas. She keeps one for her room. They go up the elevator to the 19th floor and get into their rooms. Aelita gets into Room 1906 and lays her suitcase next to her bed. Yumi gets into the room and lays her suitcases next to her bed. She then takes off her boots and gets into the bed. She says, "That was a great day, wasn't it? We got signed onto an American record label and we get to go to America to record out album." Aelita smiles and says, "Yes, it was." She then takes off her boots and her socks and climbs into the bed next to Yumi's. Yumi then gets up and opens her suitcase to get out a record wrapped in gift-wrap. She gives it to Aelita and says, "Herb wanted me to give you this. He says it's a surprise." Aelita then opens it to see the back cover to "Whipped Cream and Other Delights". She says, "Cool. A record" and flips it over to see the iconic cover that is mostly parodied in many ways. She, since it was "the killer rabbit" of all album covers, screams and faints to sleep.

The next day, Aelita wakes up in her bed and sees the album lying next to her. She picks it up and lays it under her bed. She then grabs some clothes out of her suitcase and goes into the bathroom to change. When she gets out, she is dressed in a Soul Asylum t-shirt, cargo shorts, and flip-flops. She walks out of the hotel room and goes down to the street, where she walks to A&M Records. She goes inside the building and sees Herb and Jerry sitting at their desks. She walks to them and says, "What are you doing here?" Herb says, "Running A&M, even though we're just talent scouts for it, since those lucky brats Jimmy and Ted own the place now. We still are rich as…" Aelita interrupts his by saying, "Don't say that catchphrase, Herb. You know that writer of this book is trying to make this a teenager's story and he's writing on an Internet protector."

Aelita then goes into the studios and sees her dream guitar, a 1974 Stratocaster, on a guitar rack. She then picks it up and starts playing a composition that she made on it. Suddenly, the fellow band mates come inside the studios with their instruments and start setting them up. Aelita decides to plug in the Stratocaster into a Marshall amplifier and play a few power chords on distortion. She does and the others then plug in their instruments, except for Nicholas, since he drums. Aelita says to the band, "1, 2, 3…4, go!" and they start playing on "go!!!" Aelita then sings into the microphone:

"Are you a crazed juggernaut?

Are you not so crazy?

Are you transferring to Shiloh High?

I guess so.

Are you writing paragraphs of wimpy songs?

Are you shooting cars?

Am I in Europe now?

Not likely…"

After the song is done, the band then put up the instruments and walk out Interscope Studios (the name of the studio; A&M Studios is in Santa Monica) to see a car pull up in front of them. A person comes out of the car and puts them in the back row. He then goes into the car and they drive off. Aelita says, "Why in the heck are we here?" One of the people turns his head around and says to her, "To show you California…even though we're Canadian prog-rockers." Aelita then knows who are the snatchers: the band Rush, known for many hits that I can't tell you at the moment. She then pokes on the man's shoulder and says to him, "I've studied California…on He says to her, "You know, Aelita. You don't know the other part of it. I also have a surprise for all of you at the end of the tour." Geddy Lee, or the man, as you'd call him, then turns left onto Sunset Boulevard and he says into a speaker, "On your left is the really old A&M Records building, now a Jack in the Box." The gang then turns their heads to the left and sees a Jack in the Box franchise that has "A&M RECORDS" painted on the side of it.

The car pulls up into the parking lot of the fast food restaurant and they turn onto the street next to it. They go down the street to see the home of Interscope Records, but they turn right and see the old A&M Records offices, now the Jim Henson Productions building. The tour then goes on and at the end of the tour; the kids had enough of the tour. Geddy then turns the car into a beach's parking lot. He says, "Eager fans of Rush, come on out!" and they come out in bathing suits. They follow him to a spot on the beach and he says, "Wait for a minute…don't get into the water yet. We're not getting in it." A minute later, they turn their heads to see Dolores Erickson running on the beach ala Baywatch, but the people on the side grab a can of shaving cream. When she runs next to them, they would spray and she would get shaving cream all over herself. Even skydivers would spray her with the shaving cream. At the end, she looked like the iconic cover. Aelita then faints as she starts to put her finger in her mouth.

She wakes in her bed at the hotel room at the same night. Neil and Ulrich are surrounding her and they say, "Aelita, time to wake up from your coma. We're going to Planet Hollywood down the street. You wanna come?" She then says, "A'ight" and puts on a pair of socks and the same shoes she wore at school about a day ago. She also shimmies out of her shorts and puts on some blue jeans over her pink underwear, which Neil and Ulrich were laughing at. Finally, she goes out of the hotel room with the boys and heads down to the street. She says to Neil, "I can't believe what you did to me a long time ago." He says, "It wasn't me. I didn't make you smash guitars. I think it was Dan's demon." If you don't know Dan, he was her friend back from 1986-1994, when she was transported to Lyoko. He then turned on her and tried to kill her, but then he became McFlyed, or "erased from existence"…or just died. I don't know.

Anyways, Neil was walking in front of Ulrich and Aelita and he ended up being smashed by the A&M Records sign on the Jim Henson Productions building, which they had to take down the sign due to it not being "Muppet" enough. Neil survived with only a broken arm and leg. Anyways, they walked down to the Planet Hollywood, but they didn't know that they hadn't seen anything yet…

TO BE CONTINUED


	20. Jeremy Quits The Gang

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper 

By

That Guy In Everclear 

Chapter 20

As the gang went into Planet Hollywood, they saw a bunch of people dressed up as Elvis in there. They went to a random table and sat down. Neil says to Aelita, "Alright now, Aelita. The reason we went here is to introduce you into the United States' many restaurants. You've lived in France for I-don't-give-a-flip-how-long and I've lived in Canada for many years of my life. Just think about it; we're both new to the United States, somehow, with you visiting me in Gatlinburg back in '89." Ulrich, after hearing this, is shocked at Neil's comment. He says to him, "I thought Aelita lives in France for her entire life! Now I know!" Neil says, "Of course you have to know. You freed her from Lyoko." A speaker turns on and starts saying, "It's now time for Karaoke Night!!! First up is Jeremy Belpois with his rendition of Steely Dan's 'Pretzel Logic' and his own song, 'I'm Your Freer!!!' Yay!"

Jeremy walks onto the stage and picks up the microphone. He says into it, "I'd like to dedicate this song to my girlfriend, Aelita." At her table, she blushes. Meanwhile, Jeremy is giving a cue to the DJ to play the Karaoke version of "Pretzel Logic". When the track comes on, Jeremy starts singing into the microphone on the right cues, but he isn't the greatest singer in the world. In fact, he's the worst singer in the world. He starts singing:

"_I would love-love-love to tour some Southland_ _  
In some traveling minstrel show!!!  
Yes, I'd really love to tour that Southland-d-d-d-d!!  
In that darned_ _traveling minstrel show-show-show-show!"_

Right about now, the crowd is covering their ears to not hear Jeremy's bad singing, but Jeremy is singing so loud that they still hear them with covered ears and under Bose QuietComfort headphones. He keeps on singing:

"_Yes, I'm just dying to be a song-star and make the ladies laugh  
Sound just like a record on their gramophones!!  
That, and those days are gone forever,  
over that long time ago, oh yeah!!!"_

Aelita is at the table, covering her ears to not hear Jeremy's song. She says, "Why did he sign up for Karaoke Night here? Why couldn't he do it at The Shaggs' Club?" Meanwhile, Jeremy sings:

"_I have never met that Napoleon Dynamite  
But I plan to find that time  
I have never met that soul patrol Napoleon  
But I plan to find some time  
'Cause he looks so fine upon the hill  
They tell me Hedley LaMarr's lonely, he's lonely still-l-l-l-l!!!  
That, and those days are gone forever  
over that a-long time ago, oh-oh-oh-Ho-Jos-yeah!!!"_

At the same time, NRBQ and Mel Brooks enter the club when Jeremy starts singing that verse. At the end of the verse, Mel says to Terry, "Maybe I shouldn't have made Blazing Saddles." Terry replies back, "Maybe I shouldn't have given tribute to Howard Johnson's Ho-Jos." Aelita comes to both Terry Adams and Mel Brooks and she says to them, "He can't sing well. One time, he tried to sing a jazz ensemble that lasted over 20 minutes, but he ended up making Ulrich blind for about 19 minutes, so he did a good rendition of 'What I'd Say' for that same amount of time, I've heard." After the comments from the famous people, Jeremy starts singing:

"_I stepped up on the platform and  
that man gave me the news.  
He said, 'you must be joking sonny boy.  
Where did you get Sara's shoes?  
Where did you get Aelita's shoes?'_

_Well, I've seen 'em on the telly and that movie show  
They say the times are a-changing but I just don't know  
That, and these things are gone forever  
Over that-a long time ago, oh yeah-yeah-yeah-YEAH!!!"_

Jeremy then starts playing the guitar very badly and he starts smashing it into the speaker. The speaker explodes, making some of its shrapnel land on Jeremy and the DJ. They both do get hurt, but Jeremy keeps on playing the broken guitar and goes to Aelita's table. He sings:

"_If you wake up in the morning,_

_And the light has hurt your head,_

_The first thing you do is to try to meet the masses._

_Go get yourself some cheap sunglasses over a long time ago, oh yeah!!!"_

Aelita says to him, "Shut up, Jeremy! Nobody likes your singing!! Are you Austin Wiggin crazy or are you Syd Barrett crazy? Are you Chick Hicks crazy or are you Donald Fagen crazy?" Jeremy says to her, "I always wanted to sing, but I couldn't sing that good around anybody else, but when I sing to myself, I can sing beautifully. Is there any voice coach somewhere, because I'm quitting as your A&R director!" Jeremy walks out of the restaurant and heads down to the offices of Lou Pearlman the 2nd. Aelita goes back to the studio and starts strumming her guitar to "The Fez". She doesn't sing, as she is about to cry at a time like this. She then stops and says to herself, "I can A&R direct, but Jeremy also wanted to produce to album. I know the 2 perfect producers…"

The next day, Dustin Diamond was at the Hollywood Bowl doing stand-up until a dart hits him on the neck. He then goes to sleep. Meanwhile, Danny Bonaduce is at an In-N-Out Burger eating a 515 until a dart hits his neck. He then falls asleep on his food. At the same time, 2 men take them to the studios.

They both wake up from their dream in the studios. They get up and Aelita says to them, "Hello. You're the producers for our new album by us, the Pop-Rock Progressives." Danny says, "What the? Are you twisted? We're child stars from the Partridge Family and that high school show, not record producers…how much money are you gonna pay us?" She says, "About $250,000 for the whole album if you do well." Both get at work by starting to produce 'Love Affair', 'Not Likely', 'Do It Again', 'The Fez', 'My Daddy, and 'Jonesboro Soap'.

At the end of the week, Dustin and Danny are done producing the album and they get paid. They leave the studio and Jeremy comes back with a diploma in "Fanciful Singing" and a trophy for the "Best Singer in the World". He says, "Hey, band! I passed my voice coach and singing school! I'm now gonna produce your songs!" Aelita then says to him, "You don't need to. We already did that."

About 5 weeks later, the album named after the band's name is released on A&M Records to a popular crowd. The album becomes platinum and 3 singles are released from it. One is "Love Affair", the second is "Rikki Don't Lose That Number", and the last one is "Colonel Homer".

About a few weeks later, the band is in the studio until a man hands them a message. It says:

"Dear Band,

You have been invited to perform at the Hollywood Bowl tonight at 9:00 p.m. You may perform songs you love, but perform the singles also.

Sincerely,

The Hollywood Bowl Management"

Aelita is excited about the letter and starts packing her guitar into a bag. Nicholas says, "What's the matter?" She then says to him, "Get ready. We're going there." She then put her bags in the Winnebago and says to the members, "Get ready! We're going to the Hollywood Bowl!" The others listen to her, put their bags in the Winnebago, and they head off to the Hollywood Bowl, with only the Good Ol' Boys, a mystery girl, the Blues Brothers, Illinois State Troopers, and Neo-Nazis chase after them.

At the Hollywood Bowl, the band sets up and the stage manager says to them, "Get ready. You're on in 5 minutes." Aelita runs to the Coke machine and gets herself a Mr. PiBB. She comes back and practices her guitar in seconds flat. Suddenly, they're called on. They see the crowd.

TO BE CONTINUED


	21. The Hollywood Bowl And Graham's Return

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 20

At the Hollywood Bowl, the crowd is cheering for the Pop-Rock Progressives, even though Wayne and Garth are playing right now. During their sketch, they say to the audience, "Now coming to the stage with our probably not-so-favorite song, The Pop-Rock Progressives!!!"

The band goes on the stage and sees the crowd cheering for them. Aelita plugs in a talk box and says into the microphone, "Are you ready to hear Joe Walsh?" The crowd cheers, "Yes! Yes!" and she starts playing the opening riff to the song. Ulrich comes on about the second go-around of the riff and Yumi starts playing the keyboards to the song. Odd starts playing his Carl Thompson and Nicholas starts playing the drums to it. As the band starts going on, Aelita says into the microphone, "Yumi used to sing, but she'd rather play the keys anyways. She found out my vocal range went higher than her vocal range." After she said that, she starts singing:

"_Spent the last year on Rocky Mountain Way._

_I couldn't get much higher._

_Out to pasture, I think it's safe to say,_

'_Time to open fire.'_

_And we don't need the ladies_

_Crying 'cause the story's sad._

It's 'cause the Rocky Mountain Way 

_Is better than the way we had."_

The band starts doing a mini-instrumental between the chorus and the second verse and Ulrich does his guitar line on talkbox. Eventually, it ends and she starts singing:

"Well, he's telling us this 

_And he's telling us that._

_He changes it every day._

_He says it doesn't matter._

_The bases are loaded_

_And Casey's at bat,_

_Playin' it play by play._

_It's time to change the batter._

_And we don't need the ladies_

_Crying 'cause the story's sad._

_It's 'cause the Rocky Mountain Way_

_Is better than the way we had."_

The band starts doing the real instrumental and at the end of it, the guitars die down and Aelita starts doing the talkbox solo on her guitar. Ulrich joins in on the talkbox and as the "duet" goes on, it starts getting angrier. Finally, at the end of the "duet", Aelita starts playing an instrumental version of the chorus. During the instrumental, she sings:

"_I spent the last year on Rocky Mountain Way._

_I couldn't get much higher._

_Out to pasture, I think it's safe to say,_

'_Time to open fire.'_

_And we don't need the ladies_

_Crying 'cause the story's sad._

_It's 'cause the Rocky Mountain Way_

_Is better than the way we had!!!!_

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" 

The band gets into a coda and starts playing the end to the song. Finally, they stop suddenly and do a finale to the song that ends with a very loud gong sound by Nicholas and Ulrich's talkbox words of, "We're going on. We have more songs" while manipulating the "kill" switch to make the guitar sound like turntables like Tom Morello of Audioslave.

At the end of the concert, the band gets back into the hotel room and they start getting ready for bed until a knock can be heard. All of the members are scared and Aelita says, "I'll open the door, you scared cats." She opens the door to reveal that it's her brother, Graham Chapman Hopper. He says to her, "Hey, little sis. What's up? I heard that you made a band and recorded an album. Why? I saw it at Virgin Megastores when I was trying to shop for a Steve Miller album." Aelita lets him in and he sits down on a chair. He says to her, "I bought your album to see how it is. It's awesome! How did you write these melodies, even though one of your singles is a Steely Dan cover?" She says to him, "I chose them. Yumi wrote the lyrics and Odd made the music. I told my dad we wrote some songs, so he listened to our demo on Apple. He said it was good, except for our Steely Dan cover, so we worked on that for a while until we perfected it. We also released another album for Apple with another Steely Dan cover, one by the name of 'My Old School'. My dad didn't enjoy it, saying that he liked 'Rikki' a bit better, so we recorded it on this American compact disc. There are some great songs, like 'Colonel Homer', about Homer Simpson's stint as a rock artist back in the 1990s, and 'Love Affair', about my love for Jeremy and Ringo Starr."

Graham says to her, "Awesome, sis. I've heard a lot about your singles and I thought that was somebody else. Well, see you." Graham leaves the room and the band goes to sleep.

The next day, the band head over to A&M Studios and Herb is standing in front of the doorway. He says to them, "You're in time. A band wants to meet you." They head in and see that Green Day is waiting for them. They say to them, "We love you! Can you autograph our copies of your album?" The band does and they go into the recording part of the studio and goof around with overdubbing a song. It ends up being saved to an 8-track and it is released as a single named "Denise" in August.

Later that night, they go out to the Planet Hollywood and see it has been closed forever. Aelita sits down on the pavement and says to Jeremy, "Hollywood is really hard to be good in." Jeremy replies, "I know, Aelita. I just really mugged a guy on the street. I just know it: I can't sing well." Aelita gets a bit angry, but says to him, "Yeah, we've been trying to tell you that for the last 50 times you sang."

The next day in the studio, they come in and were shocked to hear that their cover of the Steely Dan classic, "Doctor Wu", was all broken via the saxophone playing really dull. Aelita deletes the saxophone line from the song and adds in some quotes from the president named John F. Kennedy. The song ends up being released as a single and is really popular with Washington DC, as they would play it every day at Kennedy's grave.

TO BE CONTINUED


	22. Jerry Moss Is Already Killed

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 22

The band went into the hotel room at the end of a day of touring and whatnot. Aelita kicks back and turns on the TV to see the band's new music video, "Colonel Homer". They watch it and see it's good. Suddenly, they hear a gunshot from outside their hotel room. Aelita says to Ulrich, "Check it out, Ulrich. I'm afraid that somebody is gonna try to kill us like Mark David Chapman did to John Lennon outside Strawberry Fields." Ulrich goes outside and sees Jerry Moss on the floor, bleeding. He says to Ulrich, "He did it…he did it. The one who wouldn't let us go in at the prom, he did it" and dies.

Ulrich yells to Aelita, "Come here, Aelita" and she walks over to him, where the body of Jerry Moss is lying next to him. She starts tearing up and says to Jerry's body, "We'll find who killed you." She goes back into the room and grabs her cell phone. She calls Herb and says to him, "He's dead, Herb. Jerry was killed by somebody."

A few days later, Herb comes to the scene of the crime, where the area where Jerry's body lied is now chalked. The police say to Herb, "Are you Herb Alpert of A&M?" He replies, "Yeah, man. I am. I have to see the band who witnessed his death." The police let him through and he goes inside their hotel room, where Aelita is in the bed and Jeremy is on the floor (Try to guess what album cover is that). She says to Herb, "We have to stay here for a while in order to talk about who killed Jerry. Let me tell you something: He died of a gunshot to the oxipital lobe. I heard some old man argue with him about money and then I heard a gunshot. We were watching a music video for one of our singles when we heard it. I told Ulrich to go outside to see if the killer was still there and he found him." Herb says to Aelita, "I have a feeling who that old man is."

When the police got the info from the band, which were inside the hotel room the whole time, Herb and them left the vicinity of the place. They drove back to Los Angeles to tell everybody the bad news. Unfortunately, it was good news from Jimmy Iovine and Ted Field, who decided to replace A&M with ABC Records, aka the home of Steely Dan. After the replacement, Steely Dan rejoined the label and the Pop-Rock Progressives switched labels to Geffen, which let the band be printed with Almo Sounds on their albums.

The band went back into the studio to write songs for their second album, under the codename "SCIPHO", but they kept thinking about Jerry Moss. By the end of every day, they wrote more songs about him than anybody I knew. They soon recorded them in a really depressing tempo and produced it in a really depressing way. On June 9, 2007, their second album, "The Year Of Jerry Moss", was released on Almo Sounds/Geffen/ABC Records, and was released with the singles "Jerry Died (So We Can Be Sad)", "Help!", and "Hey Nineteen", yet another Steely Dan cover. All of the singles did well and the album got platinum by August of that year. The band wasn't well with that, but they held on and made some really depressing videos for the singles.

Herb sees this and is a bit shocked, yet still happy that the band has a best seller for Almo Sounds. He says to the band at one meeting, "You guys are awesome, but you are being depressed that Jerry's dead. Try to find out who killed him."

The band heads to the morgue, which are keeping Jerry's body until the killer is found. They go to the same hotel and check out the security camera. They see a middle-aged man, possibly Jean-Pierre Delmas, running to a Buick LeSabre with a girl, possibly Sissi Delmas, and riding away before any people can catch them. They get the tape from the hallway and see that same man shoot Jerry Moss in the head. He says to Jerry before killing him, "I want Hopper's daughter! I want to find out more! I found a diary in Stern's room, which talked about her and a land called 'Lyloco'! I want her!" Jerry replies, "I don't know where Hopper is, Mr. Delmas!" Jean says to Jerry, "I'm going to kill you if you don't give me any money!" and shoots Jerry. The rest of the video shows Ulrich go to the scene and Jerry saying this before he died: "He did it…he did it. The one who wouldn't let us go in at the prom, he did it."

Aelita is shocked and says to Jeremy, "Sissi now knows about Lyoko and XANA and those other delights. Her dad probably told her." Jeremy replies, "I need to reverse time to before the prom so Ulrich can get the diary." Aelita says, "No, you can't. You left your laptop in your room. We had to leave abruptly to go to LA, remember? He's probably found it by now."

Meanwhile, at Kadics Junior High, the students are eating in the cafeteria until Principal Delmas says over the PA system, "All students, search in Belpois', Della Robbia and Stern's, Stones', and Ishiyama's house for any information about the factory near us. Don't worry about that hell monger Franz, he's taken care of." Sam makes every student go out of the cafeteria, including Brian and I, who were cleaning out the urinals before the dance, and all of them went towards the dorms of Jeremy, Aelita, and the duo dorm of Odd and Ulrich. We, along with William Dunbar, went into Yumi's room at her house and saw a Peter Frampton record in the closet. We also see an AIM from Yumi, which said something about Lyoko and her lovelife. I said to Brian, "Oh, my god. Delmas is true. We have to save the band before he can kill them!" William says to us, "I'll help you. I have to tell my dad something." Whose William's dad! Who is he, anyways?

We went to the airport and bought 2 tickets to Los Angeles. We flew the plane to LAX and tried to go near the band, but their security is blocking us. Finally, William calls Yumi to let us in and we say to them, "You're right. Delmas killed Jerry Moss, but Delmas wants to kill you all. We need a plan to divert him." Aelita says to us, "Why not try to make them Klopek'd?"

TO BE CONTINUED


	23. Dream Weaver

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 23

Here it goes…

**123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012**

The gang met in front of the Delmas household. Jean Pierre and Sissi left earlier that morning to get breakfast, so the gang was clear to go. Jeremy set up a communications area on top of another house ala the 'Burbs. He says to Aelita, Ulrich, and William, "Alright, get into the house and try to explode it. That's what Tom Hanks did in 'The 'Burbs'." Aelita replies, "Alright, Jeremy. We're going in." She then directs her attention to Odd, cutting all of the power lines. She says to him, "Della Robbia, what are you doing? Are you shutting off all of the power?" He replies, "Yeah, so we won't have to cross their electric fence. Look what it did to Yumi." She looks at Yumi, really badly shocked. She then crosses the fence into the Delmas' backyard and goes into the house.

She then walks in and sees Ulrich raiding the kitchen and William lifting 50-pound weights. William says to her, "Hey, Hopper. It's great that you let me in the Lyoko gang that time. Now, Yumi and I are like peas and carrots, but I heard that from Forrest Gump. Why I'm lifting weights, I don't know, but Ulrich and I are starving." She says to William, "So am I, but I'm not goofing off. We're supposed to explode the house and get away." She then heads to the kitchen and grabs a slice of turkey. She then grabs 2 slices of bread, a slice of tomato, and a jar of mayo, and she combines them together to make a Dagwood sandwich. She then eats it which Ulrich eats a turkey.

Suddenly, the dumbbell lands on William's chest and he starts freaking out. Aelita then lifts the weight off of him and he says, "I want you to turn on your cell phone and I want to tell them my secret." She says, "Nobody must know your secret, William." He then grabs his cell phone and calls Yumi, Jeremy, and Odd. He says to them, "I have a secret to tell you guys: I'm William Alpert, the son of Herb Alpert. I was the one who invited my dad to France so he can sign you to his record label."

Ulrich is shocked. He runs to William and says to him, "Why didn't you tell this in the first place, William?" He replies, "I didn't want you to be so star-struck. I'd also like to join your band." Ulrich says to him, "Not likely, William. You can play the drums, but Nicholas has the position." Suddenly, Aelita runs out of the basement and says to the guys, "Run out of the house!!! Quick!" They do, and when they get near Yumi, Jeremy, and Odd, the house explodes. Yumi also says to William, "So you're the reason why we're signed on to A&M, eh?" William replies, "Yes, I am." Yumi then hugs him and says, "I knew it was a good idea to put you in the group." William replies, "I thought you said it was a bad idea." Yumi then replies, "William, that was back then. This is now."

Later on in the day, the gang is in a hotel room and watching TV until a knocking can be heard from the door. A voice says, "Can I speak with Nicholas?" Nicholas goes out and a gunshot is heard. Nicholas is in a comatose situation, but the killers come in. They reveal themselves to be Sissi and Jean-Pierre Delmas. Sissi says to Aelita, "You're coming with us, Hopper. We found out" and drags her into a van. They put her in and drive to Kadics Junior High School. They put her in the principal's office and she sees her dad in there. She says, "Daddy, you're here!" He replies, "They're gonna kill us, Aelita. They supposedly hate us. They found out the secret." Aelita was shocked. Sissi and Jean-Pierre found the secret after all of these years. Suddenly, the principal walks in and says to Aelita, "You know, Aelita…HOPPER. I am freakin' tired of you being at this school, trying to get an education while you know that you're supposed to live in your world." Aelita pushes him and says, "This is my world, Delmas! This is where I live! I even have a brother in the United States! Why are you against Lyoko? Simply, why are YOU against ME?"

The principal, after hearing what Aelita had said, then replies, "I am against Lyoko because, like the Dixie Square Mall, the Renault factory that Franz used as a lab is slated to be destroyed, Aelita, but I can keep a secret. All we need to do is destroy your home for 10 years so we can build a freakin' mall." Aelita is touched, but Franz is thought otherwise. He says to the principal, "Buddy, that is where I'm putting my headquarters for Hopper Computers. I'm still selling them." The principal walks over to him and replies to Franz, "You're the guy that made Hopper Computers? Wow! I even have a laptop from your shop…until the US shut it down due to…I don't know. Well, with the mall, you can set up a shop there…or move to Florida where your son lives as of 1998." He sits down next to Franz and starts doing a conversation with him while Aelita waits impatiently.

Suddenly, a clone of Jean-Pierre comes into the room and grabs Aelita by the torso. He takes her to her dorm, where he grabs out a revolver and loads it up with a cartridge. He says to her, "Aelita, I love you, but you have got to stop living your life. I want for you to die! I'm PETER DUNCAN!!!" and shoots the revolver. It hits her in the chest, hitting her heart. Peter then takes off the costume and then shoots the revolver at him to cover up the murder ala Phil Hartman…

"SWEETIE!!! Come here!" a voice screams to Aelita. She is in the darkness. She then sees the light.

"_Mom, is that you?" Aelita screams back. She could see the light. _

"_No, I'm not Lani, Aelita. I'm Ray Charles' mother" screams back the voice._

"_Alright. Why do I have to come?" Aelita answers back, finally knowing whom the voice is._

"_You need to see what you missed so you can find out. It's your memories." Mrs. Robinson yells back._

_Aelita walks her way to the light. She gets closer and closer until she finally reaches the light, which turns out to be a movie theater._

_Mrs. Robinson says to her, "Good. You finally came. Follow me to your memories."_

_Aelita reluctantly follows her to Theater 10, which is featuring "Aelita Hopper's memories". She walks in while Mrs. Robinson waits for her son, who still hasn't found his way to her yet. He's still playing piano._

_Aelita sits down in the only seat in the theater. She then directs her head to the screen. Suddenly, her eyes become the screen._

_She is in a club. Her dad is watching her. She is backstage, watching her mom's band's show. After the show, Lani walks to her and says, "Sweetie, you want to learn guitar?" Aelita replies in an excited tone, "Yeah!" She follows her mom to the band's equipment and she picks up a guitar. They start teaching…_

_The memory switches to Franz teaching Aelita piano, then to Aelita's mom dying, then to the move to France, and then to Aelita seeing the Killer Rabbit of covers, "Whipped Cream and Other Delights". She then sees:_

_Rush, Pavement's rise, her brother leaving Lyoko, her memories being taken away, and all of that stuff put in an order which is scary while James Earl Jones says the names of all of her friends, family members, and related people to her._

_She then flashes back to the day she was finally conceived, May 24, 1982. She was exiting the uterus and into the passageway to the real world. She was living her first seconds…_

At the hospital, the doctors are doing all they can to revive Aelita, but she's still staying dead. Finally, the spirit of David Ruffin lands into her body and starts belting out "My Girl". Jeremy then faints.

Aelita sees what's happening and pulls her eyes away from the screen. She tries to run back to the entrance, but it gets farther every foot she runs. Finally, it's a mile away, so she takes the shortcut. She runs to the entrance and exits it, going into the darkness again. She runs into the darkness until she starts falling, falling to Earth. The Lord, looking at her, says, "Aelita, you going to reclaim your body that David Ruffin has stolen?" Aelita then says, "Yes, I am, Lord. Please protect me." He replies, "I will. I always will. You're in my Book of Life." She keeps falling until she lands in the exact area of where her body is, at the hospital. She goes into it and lands in a corridor, where David is in it, controlling her body. He says, "I now own your body! I now do!" Aelita replies, "Not if I can fight you out of it!" and starts beating the crap out of David Ruffin. He slips out of the control tower and Aelita's spirit gets back in control of her body.

Suddenly, when the workers at the hospital were about to pick her body up and put it in the black bag, she wakes up and says, "Why are you handling me?" The workers scream and they take Aelita to her bed, which is getting new linens. Her friends are there, crying. She says, "Hey. Come put me in something other than this hospital gown and check me out when you're done crying. I beat up David Ruffin!" Suddenly, David's spirit comes out of her ear and gets taken away by a . He then screams, "NO!!!!! TEMPTATIONS FOREVER!!!" Aelita still stays. She gets out of her bed and sees her clean clothes (not the ones where she got shot in) wrapped in a plastic bag. She opens it and slips out of the hospital gown while still retaining her undergarments. She puts on her pink hoodie, her blue jeans, a pair of socks, and her black shoes. She says to them, "Come on. Check me out." The gang stops mourning and follow her to the desk, where she checks out. She walks back to the school and sees her dad, looking at the destruction of the factory. He says, "I've finally decided to tear it down. I'm putting the headquarters in the mall." Aelita hugs her dad and says, "Well, you finally killed XANA." Suddenly, Jerry walks in the room and says to both of them, "Hey! I'm back from my vacation in Fiji!" Aelita is shocked, so she walks to the morgue, which has Jerry's supposed body, and opens the cabinet. She peels away the blanket and stares into Daniel's eyes…

END OF CHAPTER 23


	24. Seniority And The Blues Brothers Class

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: This is not the final chapter, because I don't want my story to end sadly and all achieved. Aelita still has her life and of course, Jerry Moss was alive all along, but one rhetorical question remains: Who was the guy that posed as  
Daniel? Well, we'll find out…**

**Seth, start up the video player! It's Haddi-Man time!!!**

At the funeral, Aelita was next to her father. She, along with the Duncans, was here to bury the family's sons, Peter and Daniel. She was sad and tearing up, as she had found out that Daniel didn't hate her. In fact, he was always on her side, disguising himself as Jerry Moss to protect his life and save Aelita's life. Finally, the funeral home director said to Aelita, "It's time to speak, Aelita." She got up and walked to her friends' caskets. She goes to the podium and says to the crowd, "My friends Daniel and Peter Duncan, even though Peter was a criminal, are my friends forever. I will not stand at the sight of me missing their funeral. I'm not taking Rya's advice to laugh at funerals; instead, I'm crying for my friends. May God rest their souls." Aelita walked away and sat next to her dad. She said to him, "I'm not crying anymore…I THINK I AM" and starts crying out all of her sadness. Franz then hugs her and says, "Don't worry."

The day after the funeral, Aelita was ultra sad at school. She was doing her work, getting all "As", even getting on the freakin' honor roll, but she was keeping a sad profile. Finally, at lunch, Jeremy realized this and went to his friend. He says, "Aelita, what's wrong?" Aelita, who's tearing up, replies, "Jeremy, my friends from the 1980s are dead. One disguised himself as Jerry Moss and the other . Help me go through this time of grief." Jeremy puts his hand on her shoulder and says, "Don't worry, Aelita. I think your friends were good. In fact, you have us now." Aelita replies, "Thanks" and grabs her bookbag. She walks to her room and locks the door. She kicks off her shoes and lies down on the bed, thinking about her friends. She says to herself, "Why am I talking to myself?" and grabs her iPod from her desk. She turns it on and puts the earbuds in her ears. She scrolls to "shuffle songs" and starts listening to it. After a while, she takes off her ankle socks and started painting her nails. She also put on her shoes and grabbed her backpack. She went out of the room, heading to classes.

Well, of course, that day was the day before the start of fall break, something that Aelita was waiting for. She and her friends were to go to Orlando to spend the week with Graham. She already had her suitcase packed in her car and she was ready to go. Even her friends were. She passed through the final two periods of the day and then went of out her classroom. She went to the Pepsi machine and put in a paper Euro. She pressed the Pepsi button and grabbed it. She went off to her room and put up her backpack. She grabbed her iPod and walked off to her car, which was not a Mercedes-Benz anymore. It was a 2007 Peugeot 206i, which she bought after working at Gecze's Club, a Sam's Club rip-off, for 2 years. She later transferred to Super Club. She got into it and pressed the "cell phone" button. She dials her friends' numbers and says, "Hey. This is Hopper calling. Come to the car immediately." Soon, all her friends, including William and Sissi, get into the car to the airport. She drives to it and they have a pretty nice flight there.

Instead of going to Hartsfield-Jackson in Atlanta, they went to Orlando and rented a similar 2007 Peugeot 206i. They got in and drove to Graham's house. He didn't move so it was weird for a Senator to have a regular house. They parked in the driveway, got their suitcases, and went inside the house, where Graham is on the couch, doing important work that a Senator does. He is probably the only Senator to work in his house. Aelita sits down next to him and says, "Hey, Graham. We're all here." He signs to her, "Shut up. I'm trying to vote on a bill that will legalize meth use." He votes no and the Senate kills the bill. He puts up his laptop and says to her, "Aelita, welcome. Since I'm now a Senator, I've gotten the clearance to work in my home. They give me a laptop and I say whatever I say in the microphone. Everybody's friendly in DC, except for Nancy. Don't forget her, the speaker of the House. She made me cut my speech. I also dislike John, since he married the Ketchup Lady. Well, you're ungrounded from the pool. Why not kick off your shoes and socks and jump right in?" Aelita replies, "We have to put our suitcases in our rooms. We brought William and Sissi, the new members of our gang. To correct you, I'm barefooted in my shoes, which means, 'I'm not wearing any pairs of socks.'" William walks to him and says, "Hey, Graham. I've heard about you a lot on the news. You're popular."

The gang then put their suitcases in the rooms and sits on the couch, watching Spaceballs. Aelita declines, heading to her room. She takes off her shoes and changes into her bathing suit. She walks to the pool and then jumps into it. When she touches the cool water, she swims around, getting some exercise and then sitting on a float, tanning her body. She swims back to the edge, climbs out, grabs her towel, and goes inside. She grabs a Mr. PiBB from the fridge and sits on the couch with the others, watching Blazing Saddles. She's now 15, so she has changed. She is now legally (in France) to watch movies about cowboys in 1874, which are really in 1974 Hollywood. She also has some longer hair and is a bit taller than she was. In fact, everybody's changed to an extent. William is now growing facial hair and has long hair. Odd got rid of his spiky hairstyle and dyed his hair purple. He shaved some of it into a Caesar cut. Yumi's hair is now long. Jeremy has longer hair, but not too bowl-shaped. He also has some peach fuzz and is a pretty big fan of the Refreshments now, even though they only made two albums.

Well, that night, they went to the House of Blues and had dinner there while watching the Blues Brothers perform. After that, they paid and left for Graham's house, until when William starts running to the car. He takes off, not knowing that somebody has put a board right in front of him. He then trips and falls into the car, landing on the seats. He screams in pain. The others run to him and wonder what's wrong with him. He wasn't hurt. He then says to them, "I tripped. I really hurt my stomach. You'd feel the same way if you landed in a car like I did."

Well, after fall vacation, the gang did well in school and was promoted to the next grade: 12th, in which they have a nickname for them: The Senority. Anyways, they had some new teachers for the grade and kept Mrs. Hertz, who was their AP Calculus teacher. Of course, Yumi was in college grade now, but she was still at Kadics because they have only freshman classes for college students. She's also taking AP Calculus. Of course, when they got their transcripts, they sat down at the concourses and looked at them. They all questioned one thing, though: Who was their teachers J. Blues and E. Blues? Aelita then replies, "It may be the Blues Brothers." Yumi then replies, "Aelita, they're fictional. They don't exist." Aelita still had hopes, though.

Soon, it was the last period of the day, Social Studies. They went inside their class and saw two guys dressed in black and donning black shades. There's a skinny, tall one and there's a fat, short one. The skinny one says to them, "Welcome to AP Social Studies. I'm Elwood Blues and the fat one is Jake Blues. Well, today, we're going to pass out your syllabus that tells you what the course is. Since you are seniors, you can sign them yourselves, but I suggest you show them to your parents so they'll know." Aelita raises her hand and says, "I will, Mr. Blues." Elwood walks over to her and says, "Call me Elwood. Call the fat one Jake."

After class, the gang walked to the Hermitage, where Franz is sitting at his desk, designing a computer, while listening to Cake's "Fashion Nugget" album, currently on the track "It's Coming Down". Aelita walks to him and says, "Look at these syllabi I have, Daddy." He stops his work and looks at them. He then gives them to her and says, "I'm proud that you're smart, Aelita. Can you please not annoy me when I'm working to Cake?" Aelita replies, "Yeah" and she walks to her room, formerly Graham's room. The others follow her. She goes inside and sits on the bed. She then says, "Welcome to my room. It has a nice view because it was made formerly from my brother's old room. If you're wondering why my dad was listening to Cake, it's because he found my 'Fashion Nugget' CD. He didn't scold me for it, though it does have some language that I'm not saying. Anyways, you wanna ride with me over to my job?" The gang agrees to do so and they walk out of the Hermitage to the student parking lot. They climb about Aelita's Peugeot and they drive to the mall, which is pretty far. On the way, Aelita puts in the Fashion Nugget CD and starts listening to "Italian Leather Sofa", the final track on the CD, excluding the Willie Nelson cover. She parks next to the Super Club, which is over the grounds of the super computer, and she walks it, punching in on time. She gets her vest and walks to Checkstand #12, where Manager Zach Bradley is waiting for her. He says, "Just in time, Hopper. Well, you better start scanning stuff" and she turns on the scanners. Some people come to her checkstand and they get their stuff bought.

After work, Aelita leaves the Super Club and walks through the mall. She sees the Hickory Farms store being packed with shoppers trying to find cheeses. She passes through the Abercrombie and Fitch store and sees Dane McGlone puking in there. She then runs to the exit and to her car, where her friends are waiting. They have bought clothes from Abercrombie and Fitch and American Eagle, cheese and beef from Hickory Farms, and paint from the Lowe's. Odd says to her, "It takes you that long to work, doesn't it? We passed though a store we though that was a store only open to Dixie Square, but it was really a company that has many locations. How ironic. Well, where shall we go? Taco Bell is not my place. In fact, I'm not eating there. They said that in the future, that's the only restaurant around due to some 'franchise war'. There's not any frickin' Burger King around here. Where shall we go?" Aelita replies, "I'm heading to Angus Young's Roadhouse…Australian Style. Wanna come?" All reply, "Yeah!" and hop into Aelita's car. They ride off on out of the parking lot while listening to Aelita's other CAKE CD, "Comfort Eagle". She then sees an Angus Young's Roadhouse on the left side and parks in its parking lot. It is packed. Sissi says to Aelita, "Are you sure you can go here? Your father's pretty strict." Aelita replies, "I gave him a call. Also, I save a lot of money from my job." They get out of the car and head inside, which is a typical Australian steakhouse, but with none of that Aussie chatter, yet the Bloomin' Onion's still there. It is decorated with AC/DC memorabilia. Also, Franz Hopper is waiting there. He says to the gang, "Hey. What took Aelita so long?" William replies, "She has a job, Franz. She's a cashier in a 'fictional' big box store. We also got to shop at Hickory Farms." Franz lightens up and replies, "William, did you get me some of those beef sticks? I got them at Dixie Square one time. I tried going back, but the whole mall was being closed for a shooting of my favorite film, the Blues Brothers. The main characters were Jake and Elwood Blues. Next 2 months, they were closed altogether. I found another Hickory Farms in Gatlinburg and got those beef sticks. They're so damn good." Aelita is shocked, not by her dad cursing, but by what he said about his favorite film. She finally found out that J. Blues and E. Blues really are the Blues Brothers.

Well, they get their table and sit down. There's a paging system in the restaurant. There are two AC/DC covers on a rack, being Back In Black and For Those About To Rock (We Salute You). Back In Black means that you need help at your table. The latter cover means that you're doing fine. A waiter, dressed up in a schoolboy's outfit ala Angus Young, walks to them and asks the gang, "What did Bon Scott die of?" Franz replies, "He died of choking on his own barf. On his tombstone, it said that he died by misadventure." The waiter then asks the gang another question. He says to them, "What is AC/DC's big hit from their 'Razor's Edge' album?" Franz replies, "That'd be 'Thunderstruck'." The waiter then stops asking questions. He says to the gang, "Well, I can see that the pink-haired girl's father is an AC/DC fanatic. Well, what do you want to drink?" Aelita ponders for a moment and then replies, "You're Romain Le Goff, that former drummer for Odd's band! You drummed too much like Tim Alexander and less like Steve Gadd. In comparison, Odd thinks that Helen Wiggin drums better than you. Anyways, I'll have a Pepsi." Romain writes the drink order down and focuses on Odd. He yells to him, "You think that the worst drummer of all time is better than me? Why?" Odd replies, "You drummed too much like Tim Alexander. I don't want another Neil Peart or Lars Ulrich in the band! Well, anydangways, I'll have a Sunkist." The others get down their drink orders and Romain comes back with them. Aelita starts reading her menu, full of items like Malcolm's (as in Malcolm Young, less-known brother of Angus Young and other guitarist of AC/DC) Charbroiled Burger, Bon's 72 oz. Misadventure Sirloin, and the specialty, Angus' Famous Baby Back Ribs That Are Better Than Axl Rose. All of them are served with TNT Fries and Atlantic and Albert Production's Famous Salads. (Boy, this is really embarrassing AC/DC now. Flames will be used to burn Cowboys from Hell that were goats, according to Jesus.) After that, Romain takes their orders and he runs to the kitchen. Odd then says to Aelita, "I was about to laugh at the menu. The names of the items are very hilarious." Aelita replies, "This is very insulting to them, I think. It's like Gloria Steinem being against Nancy Pelosi's position in government." While they are talking, a Fonzie look-alike hits the jukebox and it starts playing "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen. The people urge the look-alike to change the song. One customer says that it sounds like something dying. The look-alike changes the song to "Back In Black". He then jumps over a man carrying a tiny shark in a tank and has his jacket sprayed with water, making it fall apart. He then jumps out the window and says, "A.C. Slater's chameleon deserved to die!!! So does Fonzie!" The customers go back to doing their normal thing after the impostor runs away. Anyways, Aelita said to Odd, "That guy is weird."

Two weeks later, the gang goes through all of their classes and head to social studies, where Jake and Elwood are teaching. In class, they tell the students to write down some notes by outlining, but the teachers leave it up the students to copy the information from the book. After that, at the end of class, Jake then says to the class, "There's a trip to Washington DC during Spring Break. The meeting is tonight. Here are papers about that trip." Elwood passes them out to the class. He then notices Yumi, who's supposed to be in college. He says to her, "Are you in this class, the college-level class? I know all of the students are." Yumi replies, "Yeah. I took regular social studies last year with Gilles." Elwood replies, "Okay. What's wrong with the college?" Yumi then replies, "They are adding a new wing. It's in Paris, so they put the classes here at Kadics. I had to tell my parents about this. They were shocked." He hands her a slip anyways.

After school, Aelita and William head to the Hermitage, where Franz is sitting on the couch, watching a how-to program on supercomputers. Herb Alpert's his guest today. They go to their respected fathers and hand them the slip. Franz says to Aelita, "They now have trips to go to Washington DC. I'll come to the meeting…and why do Jake and Elwood Blues and Suzanna Hertz host it? The Blues Brothers are teachers here now? Wow! Also, why is it pricey?" Aelita then replies, "It covers our hotel, food, airline ticket, first class to be exact, other means of transport, and attraction costs. Would you like to come?" He replies, "Yeah. What's your rooming group?" Aelita then replies, "This year, they're doing it transgender, so I'm rooming with Jeremy, Odd, and Sissi." Herb walks to Franz and says to him, "The school's doing this? Cool! I'm joining!" Franz replies, "Yeah. I'm definitely going to the meeting!"

At 7 at night, the parents of the students that are going on the trip to DC meet in Jake and Elwood's classroom. It is pretty big. There is a pretty big crowd. After the wait, both sponsors come in with an EduQuest representative to talk about the trip. They spend the next hour talking about the trip and how if somebody acts up, they will be banned from the trip and that Jake and Elwood will use their money to pay the taxes of an orphanage. Of course, the rules are outlined at the meeting. One of them is that students can use iPods, but not during when the teacher, teachers, or tour guides are speaking. Another one is that students can have bottled drinks on the bus and food, also, but it can't be fast food, since that is messy. Of course, the parents, wanting their students to learn about American government, pay the deposit. They either choose 2 payment plans: pay it all or pay it in payments. Franz and Herb pay it all for their kids (they only have one kid that's living with them) and themselves.

END OF CHAPTER 24

(If you didn't understand the jokes in the chapter, I used in-jokes. The DC trip one is not a parody of GOOD TIMES FASHiO. It is actually based on a real trip I went with my class in April of 2006. The guidelines and the events leading up to the trip are based on real events. Jake, eat your heart out! Well, I'm working on the second chapters of both Pretzel Logic and The Film Everybody's Talking About. They take me a while to write them. Well, why not publish them today?)


	25. The Trip And Final XANA Attack

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: I'm now starting to write of what could be parts of the final chapters of the story. If anybody cares, read it! Please, I beg of you! Read it!!! Spare Odysseus!! JUST READ THE FREAKIN' STORY!!!**

**That's all I have to say…**

The months coming up to the trip were hard. Aelita's friends were all going, but then one student decided to go to MTV Spring Break for spring break. He then tried to hassle Aelita, trying to make her get knocked off the trip, but she resisted their efforts. The student was then suspended. Aelita could now live her life. She had a minimum wage job; she ate at a themed restaurant every week, and saved a lot of money for the trip. Ulrich wasn't too lucky; he had to get a job at Hickory Farms, where he was a cashier. Whenever Odd saw him, he laughed. Ulrich because so mad that one day, at the store, he yelled to Odd, "ODD DELLA ROBBIA!!! SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE!!! I HAVE TO WORK HERE!!! MY PARENTS WON'T GIVE ME ANY MONEY BECAUSE THEY THINK I'M FAILING!! ALL OF THIS IS BULL!!!"

Odd walks to him and replies in a calm manner, "Ulrich, I was just joking with Aelita. I wasn't laughing at you. You know the other guy next to you?" Ulrich then said, "You mean Wayne LaFountains?" and points to the other cashier, a caricature of the lead singer from the band with the hit "Stacy's Mom". Odd then replies, "Yeah, him. Well, I came here to buy some stuff" and picks up a cart. He grabs 2 Limburger cheese wheels, 5 sticks of pure pepperoni, and a bar of SBLOUSCHNED!!! Odd takes it up to the register and buys it. He then leaves and heads to the FYE Music and Video, where he works as his minimum wage job, so he can get in his hours.

Meanwhile, at Super Club, Aelita is going along, scanning the items at a fast pace while not pulling Vince Downeys along the way. She also does the same impossible tricks as him with the scanner; when a barcode is torn, she gets onto the conveyor belt and finds the item and scans it for the distance. She is careful, not hitting people with the glow and only hitting UPC barcodes. The manager, former slacker and box-boy turned cashier Zach Bradley, likes her for doing that, not using price checking, but she isn't as fast as Vince was, who gave away free stuff to boost up his speed. She isn't as much as a wave as Vince formerly was. Now, Vince is now manager of the Maxi-Mart, but he keeps sneaking in free stuff, so he's on the most wanted list of every country. Also, the Super Club gets more business; making Jewel, home for people that don't like big box stores, take over Maxi-Mart's spot while expanding its current spot. All of the employees are soon transferred to Jewel. On the plus side, Aelita doesn't have to work in a store that isn't affiliated with Dixie Square or the Blues Brothers in some way. She also gets good pay…didn't I say that?

Well, Jeremy got a job at Hopper Computers, being a stocker, who puts the stuff on the shelves. He also gets some good pay and is actually now friendly with Franz. Yumi used to work at Pizza Hut, but she transferred to Hickory Farms, where Ulrich works. Soon, Wayne is fired and Yumi takes his spot. As for Sissi and William, we don't know about their jobs.

All of them are doing good in school, with Ulrich actually getting good grades and Odd still being Odd, but a bit smarter, with the help of tutoring. Aelita then soon starts having breakdowns. In her room at the Hermitage, her home, she would get massive headaches and then think she was Ethel Merman, Robert Hays, or Sharon Mann. She soon got counseling and psychotherapy. Well, she had it easy. Finally, during fall break, her brother visited her and decided to spend the night in the guest bedroom. He started to strike up a conversation at dinner at Ryan's. He says to Aelita, "I actually get to sleep in your old room. How cool is that?" Aelita then replies, "Alrighty" and continues on getting her steak at the Mega Bar, which is a pretty lousy name for a buffet if you ask me, but they have the best chicken tenders, steak fries, and rolls. Why don't I eat there anymore? Oh…

Anydangways, Aelita, after dinner, goes back to the house and walks to her room, where she turns on the stereo to the Butthole Surfers' hit album, "Independent Worm Saloon". She starts jamming out to "Who Was In My Room Last Night?" and takes out everything she has in her pockets. She kicks off her shoes and changes into her pajamas. She takes off her socks and puts them in the dirty clothes hamper, and then she gets all of the pillows off from the bed. She turns off the stereo at the end of the song and hops into her bed, where she dozes off to sleep after a long, hard day of trying to adjust to Graham having a vacation. Suddenly, Graham walks into her room and says, "Good night, Aelita…oh, screw it! That Supertramp concert was awesome! I can't believe that you had to miss it! Ray Davies was awesome!" Aelita replies in her sleep, "Ray Davies was from the Kinks, Graham. Did you know that?" Graham walks to her and kisses her on the forehead. She smiles in her sleep and Graham walks out.

The next day, Aelita wakes up to the sound of emo rock being played on the radio on the syndicated radio show "Over the Edge", hosted by weird guy Don Joyce of Negativland. She looks at her watch. The time is 8:30 am. "Shit," Aelita mutters, "I woke up late!" and hops out of her bed. She puts on her clothes and put her wallet in her pocket. She slips on her shoes and runs out of the house to her car, parked in the driveway. She cranks it up and speeds all of the way to the mall. She enters Super Club and punches in on time…only 30 minutes early. Zach approaches her and says, "Why are you early? Your shift doesn't start until 9:00 am. Well, you can warm up your scanners." She replies, "Okay, boss" and runs to her aisle. She turns it on and starts practicing on scanning the items.

Soon, it was lunchtime and Aelita was pretty hungry. She checks her wallet for any money. There's $40 in her wallet. She says to her boss, "I'm going out for lunch. Be back after break." He replies, "Okay." She walks out to the food court and heads to Pizza Hut, where all of her friends are at on their lunch break. She sits next to Jeremy, by then her love interest for 4-5 years, and says, "Hey, Jeremy. I'm here to eat pizza, but I have to hurry. People are at my aisle waiting for me. Where's William working now?" Jeremy answers, "He's working at the music store across from Hopper Computers. He's finding a lot of stuff in there, including needles for tattoos. He says that the place used to be a tattoo parlor, but then due to the terrorist attacks in North America, the owner was put in jail for life for helping Osama do stuff." Aelita takes a bite from her pizza and replies to the blonde-headed boy, "Jeremy, I now know where William's at, but where is Sissy…oh. She's at F.Y.E, working the counter. Well, for me, I work at…" Jeremy then answers and takes off his glasses, "I heard that, sexy. Now kiss me…on the lips." Aelita grabs him and starts kissing him. She finally lets go and he faints in the position. She slowly moves away and heads back to Super Club.

After work, it was time for the paycheck. It was Pay Day, Friday, whatever you decide to call the day on which you get paid. A lot of the workers get their paychecks, but Aelita is saved for the last. She gets her check and she looks at it. "$40.57," she says calmly, "I got $40.57. Yes." After that, Zach calls off everybody and closes down shop. Aelita heads to her car and opens the door. Inside, there is a clone of Jeremy inside. He has the XANA eye. He says, "Aelita, you kitten…" She slaps him in the face and yells, "XANA, your tricks don't fool me! By the way, how in the hell did you survive your death?" XANA replies, "I SURVIVED BY FAKING MY OWN DEATH!! SINCE THEY TOOK ME OUT OF MY HOME TO BUILD THAT WORTHLESS PIECE THEY CALL A MALL, I PLANNED MY REVENGE!! I DECIDED TO JUST AS WELL TAKE OVER YOUR DAD'S PROTOTYPE IN GATLINBURG!!! HA! HA! HA! HA!" Aelita grabs him and throws him out of the car. She drives away and heads to the bank, where she cashes the check.

At home, she parks the car next to the steps of the house, which is in the woods, and goes inside. Her father, the gang, including the adult recruits, and Graham say to her, "Aelita, XANA's still alive. He wants to destroy the mall to build a Third Reich 'n' Roll tower where he can revive the Nazi power and that has to deal with us." Aelita isn't surprised. She says, "Yeah, guys. I know. I saw him at the mall. He was in my car and called me an animal." Jeremy walks to her and says, "We have to go to the basement of the factory and be transported to the super computer in Gatlinburg. By the way, did you see a trapdoor in the food aisles?" Aelita replies, "Yes, Jeremy. I've been down there. It's the scanner room."

Meanwhile, in the scanner room, a certain demon clown went inside and met a black cloud of information. He says to the virus, "Hey, XANA. I'm Pennywise. I'm not supposed to be awake that early, but I'm here to get revenge on those kids." XANA replies, "What kids? You're in France, not Derry." It then says, "No, not those kids. I already got my revenge on them. I'm getting revenge on your enemies. I'm helping you, man!" XANA says, "Good, then we can teleport ourselves to Gatlinburg!" Both of the objects get into the scanner and are put into the computer.

Inside Lyoko, Pennywise is now a full Bob Gray, the killer clown, and is male, not a female. He is vulnerable, yet is heavily powered at the same time.

After the mall closes, Aelita sneaks in the gang into the Super Club and see Zach and Amy dating together, racing go-karts and all of that crap. She leads them to Aisle 7, which is the junk food aisle, and shows them the trap door to the scanners. She opens it and shows them the still-working scanners. She says, "Follow me." She opens one up and sees Pennywise holding a computer. He throws it at her, but she dodges it. It lands on Neil Peart's foot. He screams, "It shall die! It shall die!" He goes into the scanner and is teleported into the core of the prototype. All of the others are lead into the prototype.

Inside, all are in their Earth outfits and powerless, except for XANA and Pennywise, who are disguised as Bob Gray and a werewolf. XANA says to the gang, "This is your last hour. You shall die in blood." Aelita replies, "Not if I can help it, XANA. Energy field!" She tries to do the energy field, but is worthless. It yells to her, "I'll kill you! I'll kill you all!" and throws cats on her. She can't dodge them and is hit by many, who scratch up her clothing. She replies to Pennywise, "Pennywise, why do you hate everybody?" Pennywise stops attacking and walks to the gang. It says to all of them, "Why do I hate everybody? Why do I? Why? It's because the human race is stupid! They are retarded! I can destroy them at once! I can even destroy all of them!" Aelita replies, "Aren't you supposed to be a work of Stephen King's?" He replies, "Oh, crap" and vanishes, as its existence is no more.

XANA floats to them and yells to them, "I hired a fictional character? Oh, crap! Guess I'll have to kill you all!" He forms into a knife and is about to stab her, but then he vanishes, as he is also non-existent. Franz caused their existence to be done by pressing a button. He then materialized everybody in the scanners…in Gatlinburg. He says, "Crap. I messed up on the programming." Suddenly, Jodi walks into the basement and yells to them, "You're all here…and you decided to take a supercomputer other than the plane! Cool! Let me get fried chicken for y'all!" Graham replies, "Dad, you put us here in Gatlinburg so you can get fried chicken?" Franz replies, "No, son. I was meaning to transport you back to France, but my scanners recepted only the scanners here. I guess they got rid of the scanners."

Meanwhile, in France, Zach and Amy, after shutting down the scanners from transport, watch the printer for any pictures. They come out. Amy replies, "You got a photo booth down here. Sweet." Zach replies, "I thought this was where a secret club got put in a virtual world, but nevermind. It's a photo booth now."

Later on, it was Friday, the day after they left for the trip. They landed into Atlanta and took a Marta bus to Cousins Middle School in Covington, GA. There were 4 buses for the D.C. trip. Two were for Cousins and two were for Kadics College. They got off the Marta and went to Mike Carver, the host of the trip. Even though he is retired, he still can't get away from the trip. He says to the students, "You can allow your mp3 players/CD players/DVD players on the bus if they're safe…to me. You can also bring bottled drinks on the bus and you can use the bathroom on the bus, but don't take a shit on it. Anybody remember Shane?" Nobody raises his or her hand, except for some teachers. Mike continues, "Shane took a crap on the bus when he had serious diarrhea after getting food poisoning at Union Station. Well, here are the groups. Group 1 is…"

After naming many Cousins and Kadics students in groups, Mike finally gets to the gang. He says, "Group 18 is Aelita, Jeremy, Sissi, and William. Their chaperones are Phil Argus, Elly Strife, and Elwood Blues." Aelita replies, "Who is Phil Argus?" Mike continues, "Group 19 is Odd, Yumi, Ulrich, and Taelia. Their chaperones are Jake Blues, Andrew Wonderful, and Rya Botkins." Odd replies to Mike, "Mr. Otis, who is Rya Botkins and Andrew Wonderful?" Mr. Carver replies, "They're just volunteers from a town in New Jersey." Odd asks, "What town, Mr. Otis?" Mike replies, "It's Charismaville." Suddenly, the unknown volunteers, plus one, walk outside with their suitcases. Andrew is black-haired, fair-skinned, in a brown hoodie, jeans, and black boots. He says to Odd, "Hello, guy who calls Mike 'Mr. Otis'. I'm Andrew, boyfriend of Elly and helper of Rya's transformation to a human."

Elly has short green hair with a beanie covering it, with thick-framed glasses. She wears an orange shirt with a white shirt over it, khaki pants, and brown loafers with white socks. She says to Aelita, "Hey, Aelita. You're one of my students. Do you call Mike 'Mr. Otis'?" Aelita replies, "No, but I've heard it's a tradition made by a certain Jarrett Hubbard, Seth Sullivan, and Travis Rape. It would've been carried on by a certain Malcom, but let's not go off topic." Elly says to her, "You're smart, girl. Have you ever heard of the Stone Temple…" Aelita replies, "Scott Weiland's band? Yeah, I've heard of them. 'Sour Girl', 'Interstate Love Song', 'Wicked Garden', 'Dead and Bloated', and 'Days of the Week', I've heard of them all. I even have all of their CDs and records. If you must know, I'm an audiophile." Elly replies, "So am I. You and I have a lot in common."

Rya has long red hair. She has freckles, wears a similar shirt combination to Elly's, but is grey and navy blue, green pants, and black shoes. She walks to Jake Blues and says to him, "Hey, Blues Brother. How are you? It's great to be alive. Thanks to some experiment, I'm now alive after being in Hell for I-don't-give-a-damn how long." Jake replies, "Okay, Rya." Phil has spiky orange hair, an orange shirt, brown pants, and brown shoes. He says to Jeremy, "Geek." The other one, Joel Dawson, has long blond hair with a cap over it, a red t-shirt, blue pants, and blue shoes. He says to all of them, "These are my friends. Do not harm them or I'll kill you all! That is all I have to say…where are my arms?" Mike whispers to him, "It's not time to have them yet, Joel." Joel replies, "Okay. Let's board the buses!" All of the students go on their respected buses. Elly and Phil go on the same bus, which has all of the Lyoko Gang on it, excluding Taelia, who is on the bus.

After 10 minutes of getting ready, getting snacks out, including a certain big pack of gummy bears and a 24 oz. Pepsi, and getting mp3 and CD players out, the buses leave and head towards Charlotte, North Carolina. They get on Highway 138 and head to Monroe, where they board US Highway 441 and head to I-85. They get on the interstate and drive away. On the bus, Elly is sitting next to Aelita, listening to her iPod. After listening for a while, she says to Aelita, "So you've been in the United States before?" Aelita replies, "I was born in it…in 1982, but keep this a secret. I'll lynch you if you tell anybody, including your friends." Elly replies, "Okay." The buses suddenly go on a ramp and head to the Gaffney, NC Rest Area. They stop at the bus area and Mr. Carver says to the passengers, "I'm stopping so anybody needing to take a crap or a piss can head to the restroom." All of the students get off and head to the bathrooms. Aelita uses it and gets out her wallet. She takes out a dollar bill and puts it in the machine. She gets a Dr Pepper and says to Elly, "Want one?" Elly replies, "Sure." Elly does the same as Aelita, only getting a root beer. She says to her, "Well, are you going to meet the rest of the other guys?"

Aelita replies, "Sure" and walks to Phil. She says to him, "Hey, Mr. Argus. How's it going?" Phil replies, "Doing good. You should join on calling Mr. Carver 'Mr. Otis'. It's very hilarious." Aelita replies, "O.K" and heads back on the bus. Soon, all of the other students get on the buses, including the chaperones. They head out of the rest stop and back on the interstate, crossing into North Carolina a few minutes later.

END OF CHAPTER 25


	26. Monticello

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 26

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The bus was in North Carolina. They drove the 30 miles to Charlotte, but the students didn't seem to care because they were watching "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest"…at least most of them were. Some weren't, either drawing away or listening to their mp3 and CD players. Aelita and Elly were two of those people. Suddenly, they got onto a ramp in Charlotte. Mr. Carver sees a Jack in the Box and says to the students, "Look! A Jack in the Box!" He parks in a parking lot for a McDonald's, instead. He says to the students, "You can go to Subway, McDonald's, or the Jack in the Box." He gives all of the students $7 and they head to a random restaurant. Groups 18 and 19 head to the Jack in the Box with their $7 and walk inside, seeing the restaurant. To readers that don't know this restaurant, it is like a Burger King/McDonald's, only more popular.

They head to the counter and order their meals, in which most of them are Jumbo Jack combos with curly fries and Dr Peppers. The students, along with Elly, Phil, Andrew, Rya, and Joel, head to a table. Rya unwraps the wrapping on her Outlaw Burger and says to Aelita, "Hey, Aelita. You haven't talked to me yet. It's not like I'm going to tell you to choke on a muffin and die or that I'll be the one laughing at your funeral." Aelita replies, "Okay, Rya. You actually ate Rygar?" She replies, "It's in the trash. I crapped it out because I can't digest metal anymore. I'm not a robot anymore, thanks to Andrew." Rya takes a bite from the burger when Andrew sits next to her. He says, "Hey. How are you?" She replies, "I'm trying to eat, dang it! Gosh! Gosh! Gosh!" She stands up and starts doing a replica of Napoleon Dynamite's dance from the movie named after him. Andrew replies, "It's a Sledgehammer, Napoleon" in a Mexican accent. Rya says to him, "I was just joking, Drew. I do like the film, though. It's funny. I don't know why Mike won't let us watch it."

After dinner, they get back on the bus and a student puts on "Pulp Fiction". After 10 minutes of it, Mike says into the speaker, "That stuff is stupid! It swears a lot!" The student replies, "I know, but it gets good after the cursing, Mr. Otis." Mike ejects the disc and gives it back to the student. He says, "Does anybody have any other film to put in?" Andrew comes up with a disc with the title covered up. He says, "It's a funny film." Andrew replies, "Yeah, Mr. Otis." Mike puts in the disc and buckles in. He starts sleeping. The movie suddenly starts with a teenager waiting at his house. He gets on the bus and sits next to a middle schooler. The middle schooler says to the teenager, "What are you going to do today, Napoleon?" Napoleon replies, "Whatever the flip I want, gosh!" Mike suddenly realizes that the film is "Napoleon Dynamite". He tries to go back to sleep.

In the back of the bus, Elly, Andrew, and Rya are laughing as they tricked Mr. Carver to play "Napoleon Dynamite". They go back to watch it. A lot of the students laugh at the film.

After 90 minutes of stupidity, the film ends and Mike ejects the disc. He says, "What in the hell was that?" Andrew replies, "Janis Joplin, Mr. Otis!" Mike replies, "Stop calling me that name! Now, we're not going to watch any more films on the bus for tonight. You go on. We'll stop for gas soon. While we wait, let's…" Soon enough, they stop for gas at the BP. All of the students get out while the bus drivers fill up. The students go inside the store and buy some more snacks, especially Aelita, who gets a Slim Jim and a bottle of Mug Root Beer. She says to Elly, "You want any of these?" Elly buys her own things, including a Time Magazine. She says, "You can listen to my iPod for a while. I've got to catch up on my reading."

A few minutes later, after the students are done using the restroom, they head back on the buses and head towards Charlottesville, Virginia, where Monticello is. Two hours later, they reach the hotel and Mike goes inside, getting the reservations fulfilled. Suddenly, all of the students get their stuff off of the bus and head to their rooms. Elly, Phil, Elwood, and the other chaperones get a card. The students get their own card, too. They head to their rooms. Aelita, Jeremy, and William stay in Elly's room for some reason. Inside, Elly is slipping out of her shoes and unspreading the bed. She takes off her hat and looks at the students. She says, "Oh. Well, get ready for bed. I'll be here in my PJs. Well, time to get a Mountain Dew." She walks out in her socks and heads to the vending machines. She gets a Mountain Dew and heads back to the room, where the others are already in their pajamas. William says to her, "Hey. You're…" Elly replies, "I'm dating Andrew, Mr. Dunbar." William replies, "Sorry, Ms. Strife…or Ms. Otis?" Aelita says to him, "Let's watch 'Robot Chicken'!" They turn on the TV and flip the channel to Cartoon Network. It was Adult Swim. "Robot Chicken" was on. The skit playing was the "TERRORISM!!!" one, with George Bush attacking forgetful people and others. Elly says, "Stop there. I love this show."

After the show ended, it was Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie For Theaters, a parody of the Borat title (Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan) and rated a certain rating like it, R. Elly says to them, "Are you all 17 or older?" All reply, "Yeah." Elly sees a DVD player and puts in her copy of "Borat" in it. She starts up the film and they all watch his attempts to make "loving time with Pamela Anderson". Elly changes into her pajamas and takes off her socks. She puts them in her dirty clothes bag. She gets into the bed and says, "When the movie is done, go to bed." The film is over as soon as you know it and they go to bed, leaving the film on by accident.

The next morning, Elly wakes up to the sound of Borat wrestling with his friend in a hotel. She says to the sleeping gang, "Did you accidentally leave the film on?" She ejects the disc and puts it in water and then puts it in the case. She grabs out a megaphone and turns it on. She says into it, "WAKE UP!!" They all wake up all alive and awake. Aelita got up from the bed and changed into another pair of clothes. She says to the others, "You want to eat breakfast? Then get your clothes on! To save some time, Elly and I put on flip-flops." The others get up and get their clothes and shoes on. They walk to the breakfast area and get some biscuits, eggs, fruits, oatmeal, and cof , he waking-up kind. They sit next to the other counselors, all in flip-flops to save time. Elly says to Joel, "Joel, do you know where we are going?" Joel replies, "We're going to Thomas Jefferson's house today. Well, after we eat, let's get out shoes on and head to the rooms to get our suitcases."

After breakfast, the counselors and Aelita head back to their rooms to get their shoes on and to get their suitcases. Soon enough, the others follow their actions and soon, the buses are packed with suitcases. Mike comes outside and says, "We're going to Monticello today and to Washington D.C. to take pictures outside of the memorials. We're to eat at the Michie Tavern for lunch and at Union Station for dinner. Well, let's go on the bus!" The students go on the bus and ride away to Monticello. There, the students and chaperones get off and meet altogether at the tour bus stop. They get on the buses and went up to the top of the hill, where the plantation is. They go inside the plantation and tour the house, seeing everything inside. Soon enough, they are at the end of the tour and head to the grave of Jefferson. Elly, Phil, Elwood, and her group see the grave and take pictures of it.

They head and see the garden. They also go inside the visitor's center, where Elly, Andrew, Phil, William, Jeremy, and Aelita get Monticello Root Beer, in which to me it tastes like flat root beer with a lot of root in it. Elly opens the bottle and sits on the wall next to Elwood and Andrew. She takes a drink from the bottle and says to Andrew, "Hey, Drew. Do you like the root beer here?" He replies, "Yeah. What about Elwood?" Elwood replies, "Good, but not as good as Miller Lite. Why does Elly hate Applebee's?" Elly replies, "It's over-priced garbage. I like places where I can get a cube of bacon and have a heart attack." Aelita says to her, "I used to like Applebee's, but now I hate it thanks to Ricky Bobby and his advertisement for it. He wants to get kicked out of an Applebee's. I like Chili's better." Elly replies, "Okay. I like Chili's too." Andrew answers, "So do I. They have one in Charismaville." Elwood answers, "I've been there. Best ribs in the world, but I was on the run from the police. I've been in many places and many jails just because I'm on a mission from God."

Elly replies, "Okay." Aelita props herself on the wall and says to Elly, "Yeah, I feel like that way, too. Do you know we have to go the bus now?" All of them get off of the wall and run to the bus, in which they ride to the parking lot of Michie Tavern. Mike says to them, "We're at the tavern. Everything is paid for you, but you have to wait in line." The students and chaperones get off of the bus and head inside the tavern. Inside, it is a buffet-like atmosphere in a 1700s tavern in America. They get their food, along with Mr. Pibb, and sit down. Elly says to William, "Well, isn't this place great?" He replies, "It's good, sort of." Aelita is eating her meal like a maniac. Elly, Joel, Andrew, Rya, and Phil are, too. When the server comes around, she asks for more biscuits. The others do, too.

After lunch, they head to the gift shop, where they buy knick-knacks and other crap. They stay there until Mike tells them to "get back on the bus, damn it!" They get back on the bus and ride all of the way to Washington D.C. On the way, Elly trades Aelita iPods for a while. Aelita puts her earphones in Elly's iPod and starts listening to the Deftones. She says to Elly, "You like my list?" Elly replies, "All it is…is Rush, Pink Floyd, and 1990s alternative rock and grunge. Mine is alternative metal, hair metal, anarcho-punk, like the Chumbas, punk rock, and emo." Aelita keeps on listening and sees Andrew playing with his PlayStation 2 Portable. She says to him, "Can I play with it?" He lets her and she starts playing Gran Turismo 5 Mobile on it, racing players as far as Rya, who's in the middle of the bus.

After Aelita is done is playing the game, she gives it back to Andrew and sees the Lincoln Memorial in front of her. She turns off the iPod and grabs her digital camera. They get off the bus. Mike says to them, "Students, we are here to take pictures of the memorials, not to spray-paint them or destroy them. Meet back here at 6:30 in the evening. Stay with your groups at all times!" They all split, with Elly, Elwood, and Phil's group heading to the Lincoln Memorial first. On the way, Elly sees Brandon Boyd of the band Incubus and says to him, "Hey…I like you! You're cute! You also sing good!" Brandon runs away and screams, "Green-haired girl is trying to flirt with me!" Elly goes on, saying to Aelita, "Joel's my soul mate, but Phil actually likes me, but I'm in a relationship with Andrew." At the memorial, they take some pictures and sit on the steps, looking at all of the people who come to see Our Nation's Capitol. Elly says to Andrew, "You see the people, Andy?" Andrew replies, "Yeah, pretty much. I even see Brandon Boyd trying to tell on you. I also see a man that's as big as Texas."

Suddenly, the fat man runs to Andy and hits him. He yells to him, "Mr. Wonderful, you're discriminatory!!"

After hanging out at the presidential memorials, except for the Jefferson one, they head to the Vietnam War Memorial. Elly looks at it like it's a big deal (it is to her, because her uncle was made retarded thanks to the war…and a bottle of year-old Pepsi) and starts tearing up. She takes off her thick-framed glasses and walks in a sluggish manner to the wall. She sees his name, as he died in the war due to his retardation that caused him to eat a tub of nitroglycerine, and kneels to the ground. She grabs out something from her pockets, a dog tag with his name on it, and she puts it on the ground next to the spot where his name is. She opens her knapsack and gets out a jar of flowers. She puts them next to the dog tags. She puts a card, saying, "Uncle, I may have never known you, but I want to thank you for saving Forrest's life by taking the shots so Forrest would have only been shot in the buttocks. Love, your niece, Elly Lucky Strife" next to the flowers. She starts crying and a lot of tears hit the ground.

Aelita sees what is happening and walks to her. She puts her hand on Elly's shoulder and says to her, "There, there. It's okay. One of my uncles died in Nam back during the war. He also protected Dan Taylor from getting fully killed. The only sacrifice that he had was his legs, his sweet, sweet legs." Elly replies, "Okay. It seems like you and me have a connection between each other" and stands up. She dries her eyes and puts back on her glasses, but takes off her hat. She puts it in her knapsack and they walk to the bus, in which it was time to go to the FDR Memorial.

When they got there, Elly ran to the statue of Franklin Roosevelt and Toto and saw its glory. She takes some pictures of it and after a few minutes of hanging around there, they got back on the bus and rode all of the way to downtown Washington D.C. In the heart of the city is not the ever-so-loved White House, but is the Union Station. They park in the behemoth-parking garage, which can fit cars, trains, and buses. They walk to the food court, inside, and see all of the restaurants, which include a wings place, a Chinese place, a place where you can get desserts and an exaggeratedly large donut, and a Johnny Rockets. Most of the people, or all, head to the Johnny Rockets. Elly sits with Aelita, William, Andrew, and Rya. She says, "Well, I'm in the mood for hamburgers and other lard-fried foods, so when the waiter comes, let's order. Alright?" All reply, "Okay."

The waiter, who is of Anglo-Saxon descent, walks to the table and grabs out his pad to write the orders down on. He says to them, "What do you want to drink and eat?" Elly replies, "I'll have a Chicken Club Sandwich, with bacon, fries, and a chocolate malt shake." He writes the order down. Aelita replies, "I want a double-decker hamburger, fries, and a Dr Pepper." He writes the order down. Rya says to him, "I'll have a Chicken Salad with a hamburger, fries, and a strawbridge…I mean, Schulz…I mean, strawberry malt shake with twice the malt." He writes the order down. William says to him, "I'll have a cheeseburger, fries, and a Dr Pepper." He writes down the order. Finally, Andrew says, "I'll have the Cheese Coney, fries, and a PowerAde slushy." The waiter replies, "That's at Sonic, mister. We'll get you a hamburger, fries, and a vanilla shake. Sounds good?" Andrew replies, "Okay."

The waiter takes off and comes back with their shakes and soda. They start drinking. Elly says to Aelita, "Even though Mike gave you $7 to pay for the meal, I'm paying for it." Andrew interrupts, "I'm paying for it. You use your money for souvenirs tomorrow at Gettysburg." Elly replies, "Alright. You can pay for everybody's, but I'm paying for mine." Soon enough, the food comes to the table and they dig in, adding ketchup and other condiments to the food. Rya grabs out a fork and starts eating her chicken salad, Elly bites into her club sandwich, Aelita starts eating her hamburger, William is already eating, and Andrew is putting relish on his burger and eating it.

After the meal was over, the waiter takes up Andrew's Visa Check Card and he rings it up. He gives it back and says, "Thanks for dining here over at Johnny Rockets, Andrew, Elly, Aelita, William, and Rya. If you must know, I'm Jeremy's brother, Ryan." Rya says, "My full name is Ryan, but I shorten it to Rya for some reason. Well, let's get the hell out of the restaurant." They all leave and sit down at a table next to a Haagen-Dazs shop. Elly stands up and says, "I'll go get us some large donuts and William some green tea. Be right back." She walks away and gets five large donuts and two bottles of green tea. She comes back with the things. They grab the donuts and Andrew and William get the tea. They drink it, but William gives his to Aelita. She douses it down like ambrosia, the food of Jesus.

Soon, it was time to meet in front of the Swatch shop, but not without paying for some Swatches, but then Aelita and Elly started to have a cramping feeling in their stomach. Mr. Carver says to them, "Oh, crap. Oh, crap. You're like that student of mine." They get on the bus and sit down normally, but then, as they're on the road heading to the hotel in Woodridge, Aelita stands up, as she can't tolerate the pain no longer, and heads into the bathroom. She sits down and sees a full roll. She starts taking a very big crap, wipes herself, and flushes the toilet. Elly does the same, soon. When asked, Aelita and Elly replied, "Threw up." When they got to the hotel, they got their bags and cards and ran inside their room. They put up the bags, while William and Jeremy watch, and go inside the bathroom because the donuts tore themselves up to the point that they had bloody stools.

They come out all better and say to them, "Put in some air freshener, guys. It smells like hell in there." William walks in and yells, "What in the hell is that smell? It smells like rotten eggs, crap, and Mitch Hedberg's decomposing body in there!" He sprays some Lysol in there and closes the door. He says to them, "Man, what did you eat?" Elly replies, "Regular food. We don't have pica…or Karen Carpenter's Syndrome…or Lou Gehrig's Disease" and takes her shoes off. She takes the pillows off of the bed and jumps onto it. She lies down and says, "I feel so sick." Aelita does the same thing, yet says, "I have a headache."

They get off of the bed after a few minutes and walk outside to the vending machines. They get some bottles of Sierra Mist and come back. William and Jeremy are already in their bed, watching TV. They turn it off and start sleeping. Aelita changes into her pajamas and gets into the bed. Elly just takes off her overshirt and sleeps in her clothes. She takes off her glasses though.

The next day, the alarm rang and they got up to the sound of "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba. Elly yells to the radio, "Stop playing that worthless piece of crap, you stupid radio!" and switches it to an alternative station, which plays another Chumbawamba cut, but not that annoying, "The Big Issue" or "That's How Grateful We Are". They put on their clothes for the students, but for Elly, she put on a pair of jeans, a short-sleeved shirt with the word "Incubus: S.C.I.E.N.C.E." on the front and the Epic Records logo on the back, and brown skating shoes. She puts on her hat and her glasses and they go out to a conference room, where they get a continental breakfast full of hard-boiled eggs, cereal, oatmeal, tea, juice, and Nutri Grain bars. After that, they went onto the bus and rode past the Maryland line to the Gettysburg battlefield.

There, they stop at the parking lot, where Mike gets the guide. The guide says over the speaker, "Hello, students. I'm Perry Farrell and I'll be guiding you through this place, since my band broke up, my festival quit, and I'm now living in a 2-bedroom house, thanks to a jerk named Dave Navarro…line skinner, that is." They sit back and listen to him as he guides them through the battlefields and stops at points of interests, including memorials to the armies in the battle.

After the tour, they drop him off, but he goes back to Dave, Stephen, and that other guy, and they drive off in their Prius. Aelita says to them, "That was just community service, man? THAT WAS?" Elly whispers to her, "Um, uh, Aelita, they're long gone. Let's eat." They head to an area with a Friendly's Ice Cream Parlor, a McDonald's, and a KFC. They head inside the McDonald's, where most of the students head. Elly orders a Big and Tasty combo, large, with a Coke. Aelita gets some Chicken Selects, a hamburger, and a Dr Pepper. They sit down with Jeremy, Odd, and William. Elly says to the geek, "Hey, Jeremy. Why do you have glasses?" He replies, "I looked too close at a light bulb when I was a kid." Elly then says, "I have my glasses because I have very bad vision and I mean very bad. I feel like I'm blind when I don't have my glasses on. Sometimes, I feel fake water on the radio, but when I put my glasses on, I see nothing. Doesn't it feel like that I have Ray Charles Syndrome?" Jeremy answers back, "Ray Charles Syndrome is experienced after watching 'Ray' a lot of times. Its symptoms are seeing his dead brother in many places when you feel blind, even though you're not, and singing like him." Elly replies, "I don't sing like a black man, Jeremy. I don't have it. I know Ulrich does."

Aelita enters the conversation by saying, "Do you know Graham Hopper?" She replies, "Yeah, Aelita. I know your brother. He's a Senator from Florida. I also knew him when I went to Atlanta for a few years. He and I are almost the same age." Aelita adds, "…off by 3 years." Odd then says, "Okay, but did you know about Ulrich's singing to us when he had no eyeballs for 10 minutes. He acted like a box…of…" Jeremy's arms start growing fur all over them. On the other side, Phil's arms grow fur. His sleeves disappear all of a sudden. Odd adds, "Honey…Comb." Jeremy and Phil transform into the Craver and they run around the restaurant, trying to find Honey Comb. They then go outside and run inside a grocery store to the cereal aisle. Mike then says to the students, "Don't just stand there! Get them! They'll…oh, wait. Don't get them! Stay inside!" All of a sudden, the Trix Rabbit, who is a morphed David Brom, runs after the Cravers with an axe. Aelita says to Elly, "What in the hell is going on here?" Elly replies, "Odd said 'Honey Comb', so Phil and Jeremy turned into Cravers. They have what you call it…'Honey Comb Syndrome'. They love the taste of Honey Comb and Strawberry Blasted Honey Comb so much that they'll turn into Cravers and try to get Honey Comb."

Suddenly, all of the Cousins Middle Students, except for a few, including the teachers, become Cravers, thanks to Elly, and go to the grocery store. Elly and Aelita go out of the restaurant and head inside the grocery store to see the Cravers turn back into their regular selves. Jeremy and Phil get up and walk over to Elly and Aelita. Phil says, "We need a cure…NOW!!!" Jeremy replies, "Yeah!" Elly then says to all of the Cravers, "Eat Trix! It'll piss off the rabbit!" The Cravers start eating the Trix cereal and become cured as an aftermath, but then the Trix rabbit, disguised as a Craver, eats the Trix rabbit and tries to . Elly punches him and says, "David Brom, Don Joyce wants you." The rabbit turns back into David Brom and falls asleep. The police catch him from there.

On the bus, Mike is very angry with the students. He says to them, "Alright, thanks to Phil and Jeremy, now we had to pay $200 for Honey Comb that you ate. Now, I'm not going to strip you of amenities and all that, but thanks to us catching David Brom, you're clean. Thanks to you." He sits down and starts watching "Remember the Titans" on the screen. Meanwhile, the students relax as they head to Hershey, PA, to tour the chocolate plant…

END OF CHAPTER 26


	27. Rya's Sobbing

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 27

* * *

On the bus, Phil got up from his seat and walked to Elly. He says to her, "I see that you like Aelita as a friend, Elly. Well, I'm letting her listen to my iPod to see if she likes it." Elly replies, "She's busy drawing lead singers of bands that she's listening to on her iPod. Well, let me have it." Phil hands her the iPod, colored red with bunnies on flames and people being affected by neutron bomb, and she taps on Aelita's shoulder. The pink-haired girl pauses the song, "Right Now" by Van Halen, and says to Elly, "Hey, Elly. You want me to listen to Phil's iPod?" Elly replies, "Okay." Aelita grabs it and puts her headphones in. She turns it on and out comes the song "Bang and Blame" by R.E.M. She turns to a blank page on her sketchpad and starts drawing a very realistic-looking drawing of Michael Stipe and Bill Berry, the two main members of R.E.M. She says to Elly, "I haven't heard of these guys before! I mean, I've heard 'It's the End of the World As We Know It', but this is the freakin' shiznit! They actually are awesome on this album, better than they were on I.R.S. Records." Elly then says, "Why do you draw the lead singers of bands that you listen to? Come on? Please tell the truth, you girl!" 

Aelita sighs and then says to her, "I started drawing them when I first listened to '2112' when I was 4 years old. I suddenly had an urge to draw a shaggy Canadian with black hair and John Lennon-like sunglasses. That looked like Geddy Lee. If I fought the urge, I'd be happier. In fact, I think I just fought it. I just talked to you while listening to this R.E.M. song." She puts up the pad and looks out the window. She sees the factory in the distance. Elly then says, "You see Hershey yet?" She replies, "Yeah. I'm just wondering what in the hell we are going to do there." Elly replies, "Don't say that…or maybe not. I said it a lot when I was young. I'm pretty much an asshole."

At the front entrance to Hershey's Chocolate World, the students get off of the bus and meet with Mr. Carver. Suddenly, Ulrich throws up on the ground. He says, "I'm probably not getting candy today, much less $500 of it." They all head inside and Mike says to them, "Head to the tour first, then go on it again or shop your off." They all get in line for the tour. They head up front, but then in Aelita's car, it's Elly, Andrew, and Mr. Otis…I mean, Mr. Carver. They all get in and they ride away, touring on how chocolate bars and many various products are made. Elly, when hearing about chocolate liquor, starts laughing maniacally at the phrase. She yells, "Chocolate liquor? What the hell is that? Bailey's Irish Cream?" Aelita starts laughing along and soon, everybody on the car starts laughing. Elly stops and she sees all of the candy being packaged and moving on conveyor belts. She reaches out for a bag of candy and using her shoes to grasp on the car while reaching. They slip off easily and she gets the candy. Suddenly, a bunch of workers try to grab her, but thanks to her shirt, they pay no attention. She puts the candy in her backpack. Mike then says, "That was sweet! You risked it all and you won, but your socks stink." Elly puts back on her shoes and ties them securely. They soon pose for a picture and get off of the ride.

They all head to the gift shop and see all of the shirts for sale. Elly directs her attention to brown hoodies. She gets one of them and another hat for herself. Aelita, however, gets the picture, a lot of candy, and some shirts. She pays for them all with $200. Elly only owes $70. They head back on the ride again, but with Rya and Phil. They also have a fun time. Elly opens her backpack and opens the candy, which is just very rare CDs. She throws them back onto the conveyor belt and gets off when the ride is over.

Soon, it was time to go, but Elly and Aelita, fresh from being fake factory workers for a while, see a woman buy $700 worth of stuff. They head out and get back on the bus. All of the students had a fun time shopping for crap at Hershey's Chocolate World. Most of them had $100 or more in candy and some clothing, including Aelita, but not Elly. Andrew had $300 worth of Reese's Cups and Mitch Hedberg-quoting t-shirts and hoodies. He put his stuff down and says to Phil, "You wanna watch a film?" Phil replies, "Sure." Andrew puts in Pavement's "Slow Century" on his DVD player and they start watching it. Some rows back, Elly and Aelita are sleeping to the sound of Jawbox when Sissi walks to them. She tries to pause the iPod and take Elly's hat off, then light her hair on fire, but she only pauses the iPod, waking them up and turning it back on. Elly says to her, "Sissi, why'd you try to trick us? We were sleeping!" Sissi then says to them, "I know, but we're in Maryland. We're to be back at the hotel shortly after we get dinner. Well, I want you to say something on my recorder." She turns it on and Elly then says, "Sissi, I love Andrew and Phil, but they're both cute and handsome. I can't choose between each one. Try tickling Rya for a while" in a sarcastic manner. Aelita says into the recorder, "Something." Sissi turns it off and puts up the mp3 player in her pocket. She heads to Rya, who is next to her, and lifts her legs up. Rya is sound asleep, so she doesn't notice it.

Sissi thinks for a while and then finally has it. She'll prank Rya. She takes off Rya's green shoes and sees her white socks on her feet. Rya is still sound asleep. Sissi gets her mp3 player from her pocket and starts listening to it, trying to think what to do. Elly, seeing this, thinks to herself, "Oh, no. I remember the last time I tried to tickle Rya." She then has a flashback to when Rya is chasing long-haired Elly inside the Chunk Hut. The flashback ends abruptly. At Sissi's seat, she is finally tickling Rya's foot. Rya is laughing in her sleep, but still isn't waking up. Elly's nerves get tense as she sees the flashback over and over again. Mike also sees this and is taping it for YouTube. He isn't perverted. He's just weird.

Sissi starts slipping off the white socks and puts them in the shoes. She puts Rya's legs down and walks away, sitting next to Mike. He says, "Why aren't you doing the big finale?" Sissi replies, "Why are you in this?" He replies, "I need to have a little fun. Just listening to Don Henley isn't enough for me. No, I'm not perverted. I'm just weird." Sissi then gets the book and starts reading it, especially the part that was just said. She says to him, "I'm breaking the fourth wall!"

Suddenly, in the seat, Rya wakes up and wonders to herself without looking down, "Why do I feel like I'm barefooted?" She looks down and says, "Oh." She puts her socks and shoes back on and then runs to Elly. Elly is sitting there. Rya yells to her, "WHY IN THE HELL DID YOU TAKE OFF MY FOOTWEAR?" Elly then replies, "It was Miss Delmas." Rya walks over to Sissi and drags her into the bathroom, still smelling of diarrhea from the night before. Outside, everybody listens as Rya yells to Sissi. She can be clearly heard. Finally, Rya walks out of the bathroom with a crying Sissi. Rya then says to everybody, "If I find out about anybody who would take off my footwear for a joke, I will kill you all!" She looks closely at Elly and says, "…especially you, Miss Strife." Elly's facial expression changed to a scared look.

Soon, they are near the hotel, but they don't stop there, even though there's a Hooters in the parking lot. Mr. Carver sees the Old Country Buffet, but then sees a Fuddruckers and a Taco Bell…right across from each other. He says, "I found were we can eat at." They stop in the Taco Bell parking lot. Mr. Carver hands them each $7. Most head to the Taco Bell, but the chaperones, most notably Elly, Andrew, Phil, and Rya, and their groups head to the Fuddruckers across the busy street. It takes them a minute to cross the street.

They head inside the burger joint and see its entire memorabilia collection. They get into the line. Soon, it was Tate LeClair's turn. He tells the waitress, "My name is Otis…O-T-I-S." Elly is next. She orders a 1-pound burger and fries and says to the waitress, "My name is Farrell. F-A-R-R-E-L-L, as in P-E-R-R-Y." Aelita orders and says that her name is Navarro, as a joke to Elly's name. Soon, their food is ready. Elly is at the table, drinking her Pepsi, when she hears her false name. She walks to the area to pick up the foods and she takes it back to the table. Aelita is in the game room, playing Time Crisis with Odd and Andrew, when she hears her name. She gives the to Andrew and he starts Odd with the light . Aelita gets her food and sits down next to Elly and William. Tate, however, doesn't hear his name being called until somebody says to him, "Tate, your name is being called!" Tate replies, "Oh, snap! How come you didn't tell me, Seth?" Seth replies, "I thought you'd hear it being called so loud." Tate runs and gets his milkshake, already partially melted. He walks back to Seth's table and says, "Where in the heck is the geek?" Seth replies, "You mean Shane? He's somewhere…far, far away, most notably Emory. He's with Parker and Kyle."

Elly puts ketchup on her burger and chomps into it. She tastes its great meaty center with lettuce, bacon, and tomato. She says to Aelita, "Hey, I think Andrew's fake name is being called!" The waitress says into the microphone, "Hey, Wonderful. Your food's ready." Andrew stops playing Time Crisis and gets his food. He sits next to Elly. Suddenly, the song "Nearly Lost You" by Screaming Trees starts playing on the Muzak players set to "Alternative, Punk, Plunderphonic, and Experimental". Elly says to Andrew, "Remember this song? This is the song that we likes back so much in '92! I mean that the Bosstones were the shiznit with Mercury and Taang! Records following the way, but the Screaming Trees were better than them. They spoke to me, somehow." Andrew replies, "Yeah, but remember, I was into that song 'Someday I Suppose' by the Bosstones, but that didn't come out 'til '93." Aelita replies, "Okay, but I liked Blur a lot. When I moved to France in '92, Blur and the Chumbas were more popular there. Even Chumbawamba had a major label in France, notably Reprise Records. They were more of the shiznit there than the Bosstones or the Screaming Trees, but they weren't that popular."

After dinner, they went back to the bus. Elly sat next to Aelita as always, but then Andrew and Rya sat next to each other, near Elly and Aelita. Phil and Joel come back all dressed in Jawbox gear and yell, "J. Robbins is cool! We care about his son and we'll donate to Desoto Records if we have to!" Elly says to them, "You're more angst-ridden men that are into a band about beating up 10-foot-tall Chinese men with forks and ties." Phil says to her, "We're not EMO!!" Elly is quiet.

Back at the hotel, in Odd's room, he takes a sip of his Pepsi and walks into the bathroom. He then sees Rya in the bath, taking a bath with bubble bath material, completely opaquing the water's clearness, making Odd unavailable to see any skin, even though she has on a bathing suit. Rya says to him, "Hey, Odd. You're a handsome man. Would you like to take a bath with me?" Odd replies, "I don't know. You almost ed Sissi on the bus toilet today because she tickled you." Rya grabs him by the shirt and says to him very angrily, "Listen, Norwegian boy! I'm going to make you take a bath with me or I'll do something to you!" She rips open his shirt and makes him take off his shoes. She puts him in the bath and she says, "Odd, stop it. If I do any harm, I don't get to tend the rabbits." Odd yells. He says to her, "What in the hell are you? Lennie? Hey, Rya!" Rya suddenly gets a headache and Odd gets out of the bathtub and runs into the bedroom, changing into his pajamas. She goes back to normal Rya and says, "Why am I taking a bath in my bathing suit just to coax Odd into making out with me?"

In Elly's room, she gets into the bed in her pajamas and tucks herself in. She says to Aelita, "Did you hear something?" Aelita hears Rya screaming at Odd for no apparent reason and says, "No." Suddenly, they hear Phil, Joel, Mr. Carver, and Andrew running to Rya's room, trying to save Odd. Elly and Aelita put on their flip-flops and run out to help Andrew. They pull on the door. Andrew says to them, "You heard something?" Elly says, "Yes. I thought I heard Rya yelling at Odd." Finally, Mike puts a card in and opens the door, seeing Rya and Odd nowhere. They shrug and walk away when the screams start back up. They run back and see Rya trying to spank Odd. She yells to them, "Earache my eye! How would you like a buttache, men?" The men run away, but Rya reaches them and is about to them when Yumi sees them. She yells to them, "You ruined Rya's beauty sleep! How could you?" Yumi morphs into a clown and pops many balloons full of blood. Aelita yells out loud, "Oh, crap! It's Pennywise again! He isn't supposed to exist in this world!"

The clown disappears forever, heading into Stephen King oblivion.

The next day, they're in the conference room, having continental breakfast when Elly comes and sits next to Rya. Both are dressed in a short-sleeved shirt (their over shirts but with bare arms), jeans with some holes in them, and sneakers. Elly has no hat on today. She says to the ex-robot, "Hey, Rya. What's gotten into you? Why has it that you've been angst-ridden recently?" Rya replies, "Everybody has pranked me so much in high school that I thought, when quitting the band, I could turn into a robot for life, but then I felt feelings of being human again, so I did, yet I got killed for a while until Joel saved me from Hell so I wouldn't have to watch 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding' and 'Time Squad' or have to eat his mom's spaghetti. When I came back, he cursed me out, so that's why I got to become angst-ridden. On other news, you wearing any socks? I'm not." Elly answers, "No, but now I do know. It's all Joel's fault." Suddenly, Elly gets a call on her cell phone. She answers it. It's Graham.

After talking for a minute, she hangs up and Rya says, "What's that call all about?" Elly answers, "Nothing of your business, Rya. Well, time to go, but before we go, let's go get a drink each." Rya agrees with her. They get up and head to the soda machine, where they put in a dollar and press their soda of choice. It comes out in bottles and they go off, walking to the bus. They get on and sit next to Aelita, who's sitting next to Jeremy. They're to each other. Elly says to Aelita, "Hey, Aelita. Your brother called me today. He wanted for you to know that he won't be picking you up, but he's picking up everybody else. I have to take you to Charismaville with Rya, Phil, and Andrew. Joel drove his car here." Aelita replies, "Mmm…yeah…okay."

The bus stops at Arlington National Cemetery, where they see the many memorials to the many bodies that lie there, including the very few remains for the people that was on exploded space shuttles. Elly sees John F. Kennedy's memorial with the everlasting fame and she starts crying. She says to the flame, "Why'd you have to be a wimp, JFK?" Rya pats her hand on the shoulder and says, "We're leaving to the bus now." Elly replies, "OH, CRAP!!" and runs along with Rya to the bus in seconds flat, get on, and sit in their seat. Aelita says to them, "Mourning for John F. Kennedy, eh?" Elly replies, "Yeah."

They head to the park in front of the backyard of the White House, where they take pictures. Suddenly, Joel climbs over the fence and the snipers try to shoot him, but he dodges every attack. One of the snipers, not paying attention, shoots the old protester in the head and she falls over in a seizure, bleeding rapidly. Elly walks to her and says, "You deserve to die." In the Oval Office, Barack Obama is watching the shootings and says, "Is that Joel Dawson? Well, let him in!" The Secretary of State, Al Gore, opens the door and lets Joel in. Joel says, "Hello, Barack Obama. How's it going?" Barack replies, "Good, but why were you running in the yard?" Joel answers to the President's question, "We were in the back and Pennsylvania Avenue is closed thanks to some crazy man in '95. I came here to see if I had left my laptop here at the dinner last month." Barack hands him a laptop with "Joel Dawson" written all over it and says, "Here you go. You can leave through the front door, but avoid the shooters. They killed an 80-year-old protester." Joel exits the White House with the laptop and sees Osama bin Laden trying to enter. He says to the snipers, "Kill this man!" They kill Bin Laden and he falls over in a seizure, dead. Joel exits the gates and salutes the snipers, and then he goes back to the park.

After that, they ride over to the Air and Space Museum and Mike hands them $7. He says to them, "Go eat at the McDonald's here or the many restaurants at the many museums near here…or run a mile to the Hard Rock Café, but that's going to get you a soup or salad unless you have other moneys. I'm heading over there myself. What about you, Elly and Joel?" Elly replies, "Sure." They, along with their groups, head to the Hard Rock Café and get a table. At the table, Elly sips her Pepsi and says to Mike, "Mr. Otis, where are we going for dinner tonight?" He replies, "The Old Country Buffet." Aelita, hearing from her booth, says to Andrew, "Hey, Andrew. Let's solve this game in front of us!" Suddenly, a game of Sorry is put in front of them and they start playing as they wait for their food.

After lunch, they walk back to the Air and Space Museum and go their own ways. Elly, Andrew, Aelita, Odd, Rya, and William head to the simulators, where they pay to get on a very fast plane. They all get in and Odd gets the driver's seat. He says, "I'm going to kill you all by the end of this ride!" He takes off and swerves around so much at a very high speed that they break from their safety latches and land in various places within the simulator. At the end of the ride, they are in random places and they get out, leaving the destruction in the path, although not much.

After looking at the exhibits in the Air and Space Museum, with William and Andrew playing around in the Spirit of St. Louis for a while, they head to the Museum of American History. Inside, there is a bunch of Rush fans following Geddy Lee and Neil Peart as they tour the Museum. Suddenly, a model replica of DNA hits Neil Peart in the crotch and he screams out, "My balls! They hurt!" Elly runs to him and says, "Don't say that in public! You're going to get arrested!" Neil replies, "I don't care! My testicles! They're bleeding!" Elly tries to grab him in that "magic spot", but he runs before she can. She walks back to Aelita and says, "Neil's lying. He's not bleeding from his nuts." They walk to the "American Movies 1970-present" exhibit.

Inside the exhibit, William looks at the "Pulp Fiction" memorabilia and says to Elly, "You've ever seen that film…'Plup Fiction'?" Elly replies, "It's 'Pulp Fiction' and yes, I have seen it. I like that scene where Jules and that guy were talking about burgers in France or something like that. You've seen it?" William adds, "No, Elly. I've seen 'Kill Bill' and 'Grindhouse', but not this film." She sits on a bench and says to him, "I suggest that you watch it. It's cool and it has Uma Thurman in it…and that 'Snakes on a Plane' guy." Suddenly, the cop from "Snakes on a Plane" runs inside the exhibit and sprays Aelita with some anti-snake stuff. He yells out, "Get out! There are mother----in' snakes in this mother----in' exhibit!" Elly walks to him and says, "Can you be a little family friendly? We're trying to make a 'T-rating' story." The cop yells to her, "NO! I SAID TO GET OUT OR I'LL CHAIN YOU LIKE THAT IN 'BLACK SNAKE MOAN!!!' I'LL BE JULES ON YA!" Elly grabs a chain and ties him to the radiator. They all walk away, except for him. He stands there and yells at the next couple, specifically Brad and Janet from a certain "Rocky Horror" picture show, "GET OUT! There are goshdamn transvestites in this goshdamn movie!" Brad replies, "Hey, Janet! A distraction!" and flips the bird at the cop.

The cop unties himself from the chains and starts his Luger in many random places, including the John Steinbeck exhibit, in which it hits a of a dog and a very retarded man. He yells to Brad, "I told you that there were stupid Time Warps in this stupid exhibit!" Suddenly, Riff Raff and Magenta appear and dance the Time Warp, with added pelvic thrusts. He yells to the characters, "Get out! I'm about to fight retarded Brad in this retarded museum!" and starts punching Brad repeatedly. Brad hits back and Janet watches in horror as they fight and go downstairs, heading to the food court to finish the fight. In the food court, they grab a tub of MSG, but accidentally put it in Rya's throat, causing her to have "Chinese-restaurant syndrome". She kicks them repeatedly and says, "Stop it! You're all acting like immature embryos!" Suddenly, Brad and the cop stop and make amends. Also, Janet, Riff Raff, Magenta, Rocky Horror, and Tim Curry's character come down and beat up the guys. Elly says, "You hear anything?" Aelita replies, "Nothing at all." Suddenly, Tom Brokaw joins the fight and pours Mountain Dew all over the fighters, currently fighting and doing the Time Warp at the same time.

Later on, it was time to head to the Jefferson Memorial, one that they had missed the night where Elly and Aelita got serious diarrhea. They went on the bus, with Rya still having Chinese-restaurant syndrome, and rode all of the way to the memorial. They took some pictures, admired Jefferson, and went all of the way to Woodridge to eat at the Old Country Buffet. They parked outside. Mike got the arrangements set up and the students went inside and listened to him talk about crap. Finally, he says to the students, "Dig in, but Rya won't be eating much thanks to MSG overdose." They all get their plates and go to the buffet, where they get many random things that can be eaten. Rya gets a plate and heads to the MSG section, where she gets bacon, Oriental foods, and all that crap. She eats it all and has more of the Chinese-restaurant syndrome. Elly gets her food and Mello Yello and eats with Andrew and the already-on-a-verge-of-a-heart-attack-thanks-to-Brad Rya Botkins, who's clutching her heart in agonizing pain. Aelita says to Elly, "What's with Rya?" Elly replies, "She overdosed on MSG thanks to Brad, who poured a lot of it down her throat. Don't worry. She won't die. In fact, if we die in a very funny way, we come back alive." Rya falls into a heart attack and a few seconds later, she wakes up as if nothing had happened to her. She says, "I'm fine. How are you?"

Mike, at his table, is talking to Joel and Phil about their resurrections every time they die in a funny way. He says to them, "I guess you come from Charismaville, eh?" Joel replies, "Yeah. We can come to the real world and do stuff, but we have control over our lives." God gives thumbs down and says to Joel, "I have control. You just die and come back alive as if nothing bad had happened to you." Joel replies, "Okay, Yahweh!" God sighs and says, "That's not supposed to be said by humans!" and then fires a Chicken McNugget at Joel. He dodges it and says, "It can be. It's not like your real name is plestiltskin or something like that." God then says, "It is, but I can be called many names to make up."

Joel sits down and says to Mike, "Mr. Otis, when are we going to be back tomorrow?"

The next day, they were back onto the bus and heading back all the way to Covington, GA, seeing the sights of North Carolina and South Carolina at the same time. Rya looked out at the window while listening to her iPod, which was playing the entirety of "Clam Dip & Other Delights", the most serious EP of "Hang Time" outtakes by Soul Asylum. She sang along to the chorus of the song "Chains", "Right there on your own/if it weren't the price you pay/I got you in these chains/they'll set you free someday" while tearing up, as it had been her favorite band when she was a teenage human. She used to have the CDs "Grave Dancers Union" and "…and the Horse They Rode In On". Aelita sees her sobbing and says, "Hey, Rya. Why are you crying?" She replies, "I'm just thinking about the good old days of the 1980s and the 1990s. They were, in my opinion, the best years of my life. I want to relive them."

Aelita replies, "Rya, you can relive them everyday. All you have to do is to watch reruns of 120 Minutes. They'll play the videos of the 1980s and 1990s, including Pavement." Rya's face lights up. She says ecstatically, "Pavement? They still play their videos? You mean 'Gold Soundz', 'Cut Your Hair', 'Elevate Me Later', 'Shady Lane', 'Stereo', 'Rattled By The Rush'…the dizzy version, and 'Father to a Sister of Thought'." Aelita says, "I don't know if they play anything other than the stuff from 'Crooked Rain' or 'Wowee Zowee'. They rarely play the videos from 'Terror Twilight' and 'Brighten the Corners'. They also have none from 'Slanted', because it's slant…and enchant." Rya says, "Well, at least I'm going to buy 'Slow Century' from a store. In fact, what's 'Slow Century'?" Aelita replies, "It's a collection of Pavement videos and the history of them. If they do have one for 'Summer Babe, it'll be pretty damn lucky if they do. All they have for 'Summer Babe' on YouTube is a lot of live performances and a video with boobies and nudity in it. You can listen to my iPod. I bought four Pavement albums, excluding 'Terror Twilight', and I them. Well, I like 'Crooked Rain' and 'Slanted' a lot, but for their final three albums, they're not so great."

She hands the red-haired the iPod. Rya puts it on "Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain" and switches it to 'Heaven is a Truck', in which she starts flashing back…to the first time she listened to the song in 1994, after buying the album at Blockbuster Music in Trenton just for "Cut Your Hair". She popped it into her dashboard CD player and out came a melodious range of sounds on the song "Silence Kit", also known as "Silence Kid", but because of an ink splodge, the song is known like that.\. She sang along to it while driving all of the way to Phil's house and soon, she listened to the whole CD at a whole. She got out of the car and ejected the CD as soon as "Fillmore Jive" ended. She got the CD and went inside the house to see Elly watching the video for "Bang and Blame" by R.E.M. She says to her, "Listen to this CD." Elly turns off the TV and puts the CD into the stereo. Out came a great song, "Gold Soundz". Elly says to her, "Did you buy this CD for that song about cutting hair?" Rya replies, "Yeah, but this CD has more surprises. It's awesome!" Elly says, "I don't know if Pavement's going to be popular anymore after this. They might for another song, but definitely not right after this album."

Rya woke up. It was already night. Also, the bus was about to park in front of Cousins Middle School. Also, the iPod had switched to "Birdhouse in Your Soul" by They Might Be Giants. She says to Aelita, who's getting her stuff, "Elly told me that we had to take you to Charismaville for the remainder of Spring Break." Aelita replies, "I heard. All of the others are heading with Graham to Florida. Where are you going first?" Rya replies, "I can't tell you. It's in Maggie Valley, NC." Aelita thought, "Oh, crap. A Stuckey's." All of the passengers got up, got their stuff from the luggage racks, and got off the bus. All of the Bonus Stage gang got together. Craig came to drive them to Maggie Valley, NC, and then to Charismaville, NJ. He says to them, "Get in the car and put your luggage in the trunk, girls and ladies! Get funky!!! We're listening to Phantom Planet!" They all get in.

Rya, Elly, and Aelita sat next to each other. Andrew, Phil, and Joel sat in the next row, listening to their fully charged iPods. Craig was driving the car and he put in Phantom Planet's CD. He says to the females, "Hey, gals. Let's listen to emo groups!" and puts in the CD.

* * *

END OF CHAPTER 27 (Now edited as of June 30, 2007) 


	28. Pennywise's Newest Chapter Ever

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 28

As the car reached Asheville, the gang was sleeping, except for Craig, who was driving. He sang along to many songs by Grinspoon that we haven't heard of, especially a song called "Chemical Heart", released on their 2002 Australian hit album, "New Detention". Elly took her hat off, Rya took her shoes off, and Aelita was just Aelita. Craig stopped at a Best Western and says to the sleeping gang, "I'm going to get us some hotel rooms. I'll be right back." He gets out and checks in the hotel. He goes back to the car and wakes up the gang, who are very groggy. They get out and instantly head to their rooms, where they sleep on the bed. Craig gets their luggage and puts it in their respective rooms.

He soon falls asleep, on the couch. Next day, they all wake up and get their skiing clothes on, except for Aelita, who didn't pack any. She gets a pair of jeans, a hoodie, a jacket, and her shoes. She says to the gang, "Where are we eating?" Elly replies, "Craig's covering that. For now, we're off to Cataloochee to go skiing." They all get in the car with their equipment and boots. Craig comes in with skiing clothes on and says, "By the way, has anyone seen Joel?"

Meanwhile, Joel is looking at the TV screen in a scared mood. He just saw a Burger King commercial with the Creepy King and he was about to cry because he lost his innocence. Suddenly, Rya runs into the room and yells to Joel, "Get dressed! We're going skiing, damn it!" Joel replies, "I want my innocence! Look at here!" and turns on the TV. Rya looks at the Burger King commercial and is scared of it. She gets Joel dressed and they walk back to the car all scared. They get in and say, "Someone stole our innocence again!" Elly replies, "What did I tell you about having your innocence stolen?" Joel replies, "That I would not get to tend the rabbits?" Elly slaps her forehead in disgust and says to herself, "Jedmond Tacardon would be ashamed of you!" Aelita looks at her and says, "Hey, Elly. Don't get mad." She grabs out a Slim Jim and says, "Snap into a Slim Jim!" Elly gets the meat stick and eats it. She then says to Joel, "Did Rya lose her innocence?" Rya replies, "Yes, I did. I'm about to sob."

Phil pats her on the back and says to her very calmly, "Don't get sad, Rya." He grabs out a Wheaties box and a Slim Jim stick. He says to Rya, "Snap into a Slim Jim! Also, eat the breakfast of champions…and the stuff that Craig eats all day…WHEATIES!!" Rya turns around and hugs him while crying. She says, "I haven't experienced these feelings since 2002, when I had that operation, the dreaded operation. I'm so ashamed that I had that operation. By the way, where's Jessica?" Phil replies, "She's at home, doing a drug addict that she's been doing for the past year or so."

At the same time, in Charismaville, Jessica and the drug addict get out of the covers, but not from the south of their necks, blocking any . Jessica says to him, "Hey, Phil Jamieson. You do it so good. I wonder why." Phil says to her, "Us Australians do it good. Well, let's eat Vegemite from the jar and sing my song, 'Chemical Heart'. Alright?" Jessica agrees. He grabs the jar of Vegemite from the nightstand and they start eating it while Phil turns on the clock radio and puts it on CD. He plays the CD and they start singing, "Can't get started/Chemical heart/Every time we get started/You pull me apart."

For the moment, at Cataloochee, Elly and Aelita are on the hard slope. Aelita says to the green-haired girl, "Well, Elly. I don't know if I'm going to die NOW!" and takes off, leaving Elly behind. She, however, has a plan. She takes off and gets in front of Aelita. Soon, they reach the side of the mountain, where they stop and they tie. Elly says to her opponent, "Well, Aelita. We tied. Let's try the hard slopes." Aelita agrees and they get on the lift to the top of the mountain, where there are three paths: Black Bear Ride, Snake Canyon, and Pony Canyon. Most of the Japanese people go on the Pony Canyon slope, thinking that it could lead them to Pony Canyon's headquarters in Tokyo, but it leads them to Sony instead. Most of them yell out, "OH, SHIT!! SHIT!! SHIT!!! SHIT! SHIT!!! SHIT!!"

Elly and Aelita race each other through the Pony Canyon slope and reach Sony's headquarters, but all they get is Elcaset tapes. Elly says, "That slope was a rip-off. Well, let's meet the others at the hall of picnic tables." They head to the dining hall of Cataloochee Ski Resort and see a trio of teenagers trying to ski. One of them has a plan: he'll grease up the skis with dishwasher detergent. Suddenly, when he takes off, he goes very fast and goes that same speed on pavement, but he ends up crashing in a Wal-Mart at a collection of gas tanks. At the same time, in that section, Pennywise the Clown was about to kill some kids until he gets . The Wal-Mart goes up high in the sky. From where Elly and Aelita are, the explosion is like a mushroom cloud. Some bodies fall on the ground next to them. Elly says to Aelita, "Where in the hell are Joel and Phil? I told them to meet us here!" Suddenly, the two boys run to them and say, "Craig's waiting for us at the dining hall! We need to come…NOW!!!" They run to the dining hall, where Craig is at a table, sighing, until the others come to be sheltered from the raining of bodies.

Elly says, "So, what do they serve here? We have to go in an hour." Craig replies, "Pizza, burgers, that good stuff…and Pepsi." They head to the counter and get some burgers, pizza, fries, and Pepsi. They go back to the table and start talking. Phil says to Elly, "So, you still dating?" Elly replies, "I married Andrew in 1999, Phil. Boy, my life has changed since then. He's a big jerk. By the way, where's Andrew?" Suddenly, Andrew comes in with his snowboard and sits next to the gang. He says to them, "How's it going. Where in the hell's my food?" Elly says back, "Get it yourself." He goes to the counter and gets some pizza. He comes back with his food and says, "Well, does anybody like They Might Be Giants?" Rya replies, "Yeah. I have five of their CDs, un-including their albums 'Factory Showroom', 'Mink Car', and 'The Spine'. Their children's CDs are just plain crap." Andrew then says to her, "You like TMBG? If they hadn't recorded those children's CDs, we would've liked Mink Car and Spine a lot more. Well, Apollo 18 was good while it lasted."

After lunch, the gang turned in their equipment and went back to the car. Craig cranks it up and says to them, "Hang on because we're going back to Charismaville today. We may stop for dinner on the way." He drives off on the interstate to I-95 and heads towards Trenton, NJ, near Charismaville. He sees the city in the distance and gets off the ramp to it. He heads to Elly's house and parks the car there. The gang gets out and gets their luggage. Joel and Phil head back to their house and put up their luggage. Andrew goes inside the house and puts up his clothes. Elly puts up her clothes. Aelita puts her luggage on the living room floor. She suddenly sees all of Elly's vinyl records from the 1980s to the 1990s and turns on the record player. She grabs out the Mr. Bungle record and puts it on. Suddenly, nothing plays, as is the case for the introduction for "Travolta/Quote Unquote". Suddenly, more sounds happen as the song starts playing. Elly sees Aelita listening to Mr. Bungle and suddenly drawing a picture of Mike Patton in her sketchpad. Aelita cuts herself with the pencil and yells to herself, "WHY AM I BACK IN THE HABIT?"

Elly walks to her and says, "I don't know why you had an urge to listen to Mr. Bungle. They sing songs with titles such as 'My Ass Is On Fire'. Well, I like the record itself because their other records are pieces of crap, but I can see why you got back in the urge. I means that you like the record. Don't self-chastise yourself from doing that. It's nothing wrong. Well, it's time to head out to eat with the others." They exit the house and head to Joel's Subaru BRAT, where Jessica, Andrew, Phil, and Joel are in. The others get in and they take off. Well, Rya is riding on the bed of the truck due to the truck not having enough space in it for seven people. They head all of the way to Chili's, where they park and get out. Rya jumps out of the bed and she follows them inside the restaurant. She sits with them and says, "Hey, guys. Wonder where I was?" Joel replies, "In the bed. We saw you. Well, we came here to celebrate House's pay raise on the show 'House'. Does Hopper watch it?" Aelita replies, "Yeah, I do…sometimes. I remember an episode where he insults a patient just because he almost OD'd on drugs."

After dinner, they go back to Elly's house, where they get on the couches and turn on the TV to "House". In the episode, he is trying to treat a Jewish kid with cancer. The kid says to him, "Mr. House, I can't miss Hanukkah! I need to go out now!" House yells, "KID, YOU AIN'T GETTING OUT FOR ANY SILLY HOLIDAY!!" The kid defies him and gets up, but he dies instantaneously. The boss comes in and yells to House, "House! Look what you done! You're fired…unless you can treat Jello Biafra and Ler LaLonde!" The episode stops. The announcer yells out, "Will House treat these patients, along with Dave Navarro and Chris Robinson? Will he get his job back! When will this story end? Stay tuned!"

All of them applaud at the episode, except for Rya. After the applause, she says to them, "That was probably the dumbest episode ever. Well, I'm going to hit the hay at Phil's house" and walks outside to Phil's house. She goes inside and changes into her nightclothes. She goes to her room and goes to sleep, but then, she starts having a nightmare…a very big one…one where she is…hasn't that been in another story before? She finally wakes up and walks downstairs to the kitchen, where she gets a bottle of Pepsi and drinks some. She eats some marshmallows and heads back to her room, heading to sleep, this time, sleeping calmly and like a baby.

Well, at the Strife house, Elly is tossing and turning in her bed, dreaming about another nightmare, this time from a Stephen King movie, "It". She's in a bathroom, trying to pee, when by surprise, the showerheads start trying to attack her. She tries to get out, but they block the door. Finally, Pennywise comes out from a drain and yells to her, "You Loser! I'll kill you all!" He grabs her and takes her to his underground lair, where he and Freddy Krueger rape her and yell out, "ME SO HORNY!! ME SO HORNY!! ME SO HORNY!!! ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME!!!" Freddy, having enough, slaps Pennywise and starts trying to cut his "deadlights" open. He yells, "Pennywise, are you scared?" It yells back, "NO, I AIN'T DAMN SCARED OF ANY SHIT!!!" Freddy grabs a paddle and starts spanking him repeatedly. Soon, the Losers' Club joins in, spanking Pennywise and killing it…again. Elly says to it, "It was finished. Now it is done." Pennywise screams out, "I'LL KILL YOU!! KISS ME, FAT BOY!! KISS ME, EVIL!! KISS ME, BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP RICHIE!!! KISS ME, LAWNMOWER MAN!!! KISS ME, CARRIE!! KISS ME, STABLE BUCK!!" Elly screams out, "NO!!"

She wakes up from the nightmare all sweaty and scared. She gets up from the bed and heads to the kitchen, where she gets a glass of milk and drinks it. Aelita is still asleep, but now having the nightmare of Elly's, only with the Chinese restaurant attack on the Losers' Club minus the suicidal Stan. Elly pours the jug of milk on her and Aelita wakes up all of a sudden. She yells out, "Pennywise tried to rape me!" Suddenly, Pennywise jumps through the door with a double neck guitar and jams out to it, singing along the lines of, "I'll chop your heads off! I'll eat you! I hate humans! I eat them for breakfast, lunch, brunch, oats, and dinner…and uh…building stuff!" Aelita yells to it, "You ain't real! You're just a figment of my imagination!" Pennywise touches her. She screams out, "You are real! How did you get out of non-existence and Derry?" It yells to her, "I have my ways! Here! Have a balloon!" and hands her a balloon. It pops out blood. She screams. Elly sees it and she hits random objects at him. Finally, she throws silver jewelry at it and he explodes, heading to another universe full of light and chaos. Elly says, "That was scary, but no doubt funny." Aelita agrees with her.

At the Argus house, Jessica and Jamieson are sleeping, Phil is sleeping, and Rya wakes up from the screams at Elly's house. She gets up, puts on a pair of jeans, a shirt, and some slip-on Adidas, and heads out the door to Elly's house. She sees Pennywise play the guitar and sing very bad stuff. She says to self, "It's time to attack!" After he explodes, Rya walks inside and Pennywise comes back. He grabs her and removes her shoes by force in midair. Elly and Aelita witness of what could be his last attack. Rya gets tickled and almost dies of lack of oxygen, but then she chokes him, causing her to be dropped and Pennywise to go to another universe again. Rya puts on her shoes and says to Elly, "Elly, shut up! I could hear you from Phil's house!" Elly replies, "But we got attacked by Pennywise! We were scared!" Rya slaps herself on the forehead and says to the both of them, "Look, you two, you can't get scared in front of Pennywise or he'll try to kill somebody else! He's hungry for meat! Just lure him in a trap with a steakhouse involved. That'll teach him not to mess with the human race. Also, he never really hurt you, but he tickled me by force! I didn't get scared! I took it like a man!" Aelita's jaw drops. She says, "You're a man?" Rya slaps herself on the forehead again and yells to the both of them, "What I'm trying to say here is that you get scared easily! You have to take it like a man! I don't mean cut of your breasts! I mean it by being brave! Be brave! Just be brave!" She walks to the kitchen and gets a glass of milk. She grabs out a deck of cards and they drop on the floor. All of them have Pennywise's face on them. All of them yell, "Come here! I haven't even finished you yet!" Pennywise comes out of the cards and he starts making out with Rya. He says, "I love you! You have my evil and my sarcasm and my wanting to kill!" Rya replies, "Okay. I haven't dated a killer clown before, but I'll try." He grabs a knife and tries to stab her in the same spot where she got killed, gasping for air. She falls down on the floor, screaming, until the remaining Losers' Club come and wrestles him to the next universe and then putting a lock on it. He says to them through the phone, "Retards!"

The knife drops into Rya's leg. She doesn't feel it. Suddenly, she feels it and screams in pain. Elly runs to her and tries to pull it out, but due to Rya's incompetence, she has to use another knife to the get the knife out. Finally, she bandages it up and says to Rya, "You took on Pennywise." Mike Hamlin replies to her, "No, she didn't. She distracted it and we took care of the rest. If she had taken care of the rest, she would've been dead as a doornail. Thank God that she's fine." Aelita tapes this and says, "Wow. That's awesome. I should send it to Stephen King…or Stephen Malkmus. Whatever. Let's play cards." She picks up the Pennywise cards and she starts playing with them, building a house of cards ala the movie with the same name. She puts them in the fireplace and it burns up.

END OF CHAPTER 28


	29. The Graduation, Part 1

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 29 (Or The Graduation, Part One)

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It was the day. After days and days of ass-splitting practice, it was time to show the lower classes that they were the seniority, not the lower-class…ity by saying to the whole school, "You fools! We're higher than you! We're smarter than you! In fact, we've been here longer than you…at the moment!" Aelita was ready, especially. She called up Geddy, Alex, the ever-so-punchable Neil, Graham, Damon, Jodi, her dad, Elly, Rya, Phil, and Andrew to be there at the occasion on the last day of school. They had to come earlier, as it was at 4 in the afternoon. School was let out early this year.

It was time for the Lyoko Gang, except for Yumi, who already was in college, to graduate from Kadics Junior High School.

On the morning of May 28th, 2009, Aelita woke up and put on a t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and her Chuck Taylors. She grabbed her bookbag and got out her checklist. She looked over it, seeing if she needed to take down anything else on her walls or get rid of some junk. Due to the overload of new students getting dorms this year, the seniors had to move out on graduation day and go back to their homes to prepare for college. Aelita saw that she put up everything in the Hermitage, so she threw away the list and walked out of the room. She put the backpack on one of her shoulders and walked to the auditorium, where the seniors where reported to meet that day.

She walked in and sat next to the gang, who were getting adjusted to their seats. She says to Jeremy, "Hey, Jeremy. I'll be missing you after today, but I have your number. I'll call you every day." He blushes and replies, "Oh, thanks, Hopper. Now shut up. We're listening to the guest speaker." She gets adjusted and looks at the stage. She then sees a man walk onto the stage. Some senior, thinking that he was a football player (American football, dang it), threw the football at his testicles, making them go into excruciating pain. He screams, "Will everybody stop hurting me?" and walks to the podium. He grabs out his drumsticks and says to the student body, "Hello, Class of 2010. I'm Neil Peart of Rush and I'm speaking today on behalf of all of you graduating. None of you are the dumb jocks of comic strips, but you are the achievers of today."

"What I'm trying to say is that you are all smart and you chose your profession and you went through all of this school. In Canada, where I live, they have 4 years of high school, but here, you have 7 frickin' years of school. I mean, I don't give a damn about that, but you have more education here than there. In fact, you can beat my…dead…daughter." Neil starts crying and sadness, but the student body come towards him and cheers him up. He says to the audience, "Well, have a great day because I have nothing else to talk about." The students get out of the auditorium, but the Lyoko Gang is left. Neil says to them, "Well, why do you have to split? Aren't you all going to the same college?" Aelita replies, "No, Neil. I'm heading to Emory in Georgia, where my brother went. I'm following in his path, even though they signed me up for 5 freakin' music classes due to the band's popularity in the United States. Here, it was just a fad, a great fad. Well, I'm heading to my dad's. Wanna come?" All of them, along with Neil, head to the Hermitage, where they go to the basement and see the theater room. They walk inside and sit on the couch.

William says to Aelita, "Hey, Aelita. You still dating Jeremy?" She replies, "No, I'm not! I'm dating you, though" and kisses him on the lips. He is frozen. Aelita says, "Does anybody I kiss get frozen? Well, tell me!" William unfreezes and says, "You are a great kisser. I'm wondering if Elly and Rya are coming." Suddenly, at the front door, a Mazda RX-7 pulls up the driveway, as Franz added a driveway while Aelita was in America, and parks. The door opens. Out came Elly, Rya, Andrew, and Phil, along with Jessica and her boyfriend, Phil Jamieson. They walked inside and sat on the couch, next to Aelita. Elly says to her, "Hey, Aelita. This is what I mean by when Phil's mom is dating a drug addict." Jamieson replies, "I'm not one anymore! I was treated for meth abuse in February and had AA in October. Now, Grinspoon is still around and we still rock." Aelita is star-struck. She met somebody famous…in Australia.

She gets out a checklist, all wrinkly as it had been made in 8th grade, 1994, and was in her pocket when she came into Lyoko. Her original checklist read, "Meet Ron Hitler-Barassi or anybody from TISM." Now, it said, "Meet anybody famous in Australia." She checked that part off and finally says to Elly, "My checklist of things to do before I'm 20 is done. I'm finally over with that." Elly replies, "Good for you. Why'd you invite us here?" Aelita replies, "I'm graduating today. Right now, we're having a big party. We don't have any music…what a minute! Phil can be our musician!" Phil says to Aelita, "I'm not playing." Jamieson says to Phil, "She meant me, Phil. Well, you can play the guitar. Do you know 'Chemical Heart'?" Phil replies, "Yeah, Phil."

Jamieson and Phil get on the floor. The Australian gets a chair for Phil. Phil sits in it with his Gibson SG and Peavey amp. He plugs it in and strums some practice chords. Finally, they are ready to play. Phil does the opening notes to the song and Jamieson sings:

When you look for a ride and you need to get high my friend

Spend all your time just a walkin around instead

Like black rose it's somebody to hold for them for them

Lets go outside havin' nothing to hide for free

Can't seem to see the forest from the trees

Grass is always greener but how do you know we'll see we'll see

(CHORUS x 2)

Can't get started

Chemical heart

Everytime I get started

You pull me apart

Forgotten maybe things are right on the other side undone

Better off wishin' for the stars to kill the sun

Like packed rows that nobody can hold no one no one

(Chorus x 2)

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh

When you look for a ride and you need to get high my friend

Spend all your time just a walkin around instead

Like black rose it's somebody to hold for them for them

(Chorus x 2)

Yeah.

(Chorus until fade out)

At the end of the song, everybody was cheering for the stripped-down Grinspoon (just Phil Argus and Phil Jamieson). Jamieson walked to Aelita and says to her, "Why do people like us in France? I thought they hated us!" Aelita replies, "Remember? Seeland and Warner Bros. got the rights to put Grinspoon in France and the United States." He remembers and replies, "Oh, Aelita. Well, where's the food?" Aelita hears a doorbell. She runs to it and sees the pizza man. He yells, "How come you didn't come while Grinspoon was playing?" Aelita grumbles, "SHIT!! Well, here's the money" and hands him the money. She gets the pizzas, breadsticks, and Pepsi, and walks to the theater room with them. She puts the boxes on the table and says to everybody, "Here's the pizza, guys." Jamieson and Rya go to the pizza and get some slices.

After munching on the pizza, everybody was groaning and on the floor, as they had eaten a lot of pizza. Aelita wasn't that good, but she wasn't as sick as them. She says, "Doesn't anybody want to see…" and gets out a copy of "Blazing Saddles". All of the people get on the couch and Aelita pops the DVD into the player. The movie starts playing…anybody in the mood for farting cowboys?

At the end of the film, everybody was talking about the film, especially Jamieson, who was talking about it to Jessica. He then gets down on his knees and grabs out a box containing a diamond ring. He asks her, "Will you accept this gift? Will you marry me?" Jessica thinking about it for a while and says, "Yes and yes. Phil, you are a great man." He gives her the ring and she puts it on. They dance around the room while Aelita puts on Odd's famous "Break, Break Breakdance" song. This time, he doesn't hurt her or anything. He says, "Man, those were the good ol' days. Weren't they?" She replies, "Yeah. Sometimes, I miss them. I had fun, mystery, and many things happen to me."

Finally, it was time. Everybody that goes to school got on their cap and gown and everybody else put on something classy and formal. They got into the Mazda RX-7 and rode to the auditorium, where they were about to start graduation. Franz says to her, "I can't believe it. You're becoming a college person. Just don't join a club that plays 'Louie, Louie' or tries to interpret it in any bad way. Well, who's this Elly you talked to?" She says to her dad, "Daddy, Elly's my chaperone on the DC Trip. I was in her group. No, we're not delinquents." He says, "Yeah, because I was about to send you to the Hanoi Hilton." Aelita says, "Why'd you want me to go to a hotel?" He replies, "It's not a hotel. It's a damn prison in damn Vietnam where damn Commies run the place. My cousin protected Forrest and some retarded man protected Dan from being killed. Why? Don't ask me."

Finally, they were there. All of them got out and went to their respected places.

END OF CHAPTER 29


	30. The Graduation, Part 2 aka Classic Girl

Some Gift From Heaven: The Unauthorized Biography of Aelita Hopper

By

That Guy In Everclear

Chapter 30: The Final Chapter (aka "Classic Girl")

* * *

**Disclaimer:**** Sorry I haven't put up a disclaimer in a while, but still, this is the final chapter. Review it and see if you like it or not, but it's the final chapter in this novel, but not the final part of the story. It still goes on…**

It was Graduation Day. The students were on the stage. Jean-Pierre says to the audience, "Welcome to the graduation of the class of 2009. First off, there's the slideshow of the students." He sits down and the screens start showing many pictures of the Senior Class while playing "Sweet Transvestite" by Apocalypse Hoboken. Elly listens to the music and says, "Was that from that Springman release?" Rya replies, "Yeah." Jamieson butts in and says, "What's Springman?" Elly replies, "It's a record label run by college students in Sacramento. It's big…sort of." He sighs in relief.

After the slideshow, the students come up and get their awards. Here's a list of them:

* * *

Jeremy Belpois: Smartest Kid…EVER; Beta Club; Science; Computer Club; Parliament Award; Best Body EVER (Jeremy worked out some during his 10th and 11th grade years); You're The Man Now Dog Junkie

Yumi Ishiyama: Japanese Club; Social Studies; Extra Credit; Parliament Award; Beta Club; Pencat Silat

Ulrich Stern: Most likely to fail; Musically trained; Pencat Silat; Parliament Award; Extra Credit

Odd Della Robbia: Most likely to be at McDonald's; Most Gifted; Musically Successful; Choir Award; Film Guild Award; Extra Credit; Parliament Award; Most Comedic; Weirdest Kid

William Dunbar: Most secretive; Most danceable; Prom King; Musically Successful; Choir Award; Film Guild Award; Parliament Award; You're The Man Now Dog Junkie

Sissi Delmas: Parliament Award; Extra Credit

Aelita Hopper: Math; Beta Club; Computer Club; Track/Cross Country; Parliament Award; You're The Man Now Dog Junkie; Most Outstanding – Choir; Most Outstanding – Drama; Language Arts; Master of Shakespearian Language; Beatles Club; Film Guild Award;

* * *

****

Aelita was happy when she heard that she had the Valedictorian Award. Jeremy was also happy, but in his mind, he was all like, "Damn! Damn! Damn it!! I deserve to be the Valedictorian, damn it!" The mind soon got a beating, though, as he actually accepted it. Aelita was #1 for their class. Now, she accepted all of the awards and went back to her seat. Everybody else was called and then the class stood up and ran to his or her friends and families. They threw their hats in the air and the ceremony was over. The gang went back to the Hermitage and had the rest of the party.

Aelita was in her room, talking to Elly. She says, "Elly, I may go live with Graham during the summer, but I'll try to spend a few weeks with you." Elly replies, "Okay. I'm just glad you're heading to Oxford of Emory. Is William going there?" Aelita replies, "He's heading there to visit me once in a while, but we'll still contact each other, unlike a couple from Lilburn. They were estranged…well, almost, but the boyfriend didn't have enough guts." Elly takes her shoes off and says, "Well, what you need to do is to live with Graham during the…oh, wait. You said that." Suddenly, William walks in the room with roses and chocolates. He grabs out an old-timey microphone and starts crooning like Sinatra. After he gets done with the snippet, he says, "Boy. I'm about as talented as my father." Aelita replies, "Yeah, pretty much. Are those chocolates and roses?" He gives them to her and she starts gorging on them. Elly eats some and they walk out.

After that, Rya and Odd walk in. Rya says to Odd, "Why'd Sissi tickle me?" He replies, "She's weird, not perverted. Well, Rya. I think I love you." Rya says, "Sorry. I got my husband over here" and drags in Phil, not Jamieson. Odd sighs and says, "Well, can I hug you?" They hug each other. Phil walks out and opens up a bottle of Molson Ice. He drinks it and says to Joel, "Why'd the chicken cross the road? To piss off Mitch Hedberg!" Phil laughs crazily. Meanwhile, in Aelita's room, Odd and Rya are looking at each other until Odd says, "Can I…give you…a foot rub?" She replies, "Yeah" and lays her legs upon his lap.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Graham is partying to "Helter Skelter" and starts break dancing to it. DJ Danger Mouse is there, taping it for the Grey Album 2: Attack of the Clones. Suddenly, Franz walks to Graham and says, "Are you going to…" Graham replies, "Yes, Aelita's going to live with me during the summer, OK?" Franz says, "Alrighty" and walks away.

This was a fun time for Aelita. She got to graduate, defeat XANA in Gatlinburg, save William Alpert (William Dunbar), save her dad, and meet the Bonus Stage crew, complete with Pavement fans, and other things like that. Well, she had a time in France and it was time to go back to her home country, the United States, but more about that at 9. It was time to make out with William. After getting her feet rubbed with no tickling by Odd, she got up and walked to the pool, where William was, listening to the Collective Soul music playing on the radio. She thrusts him down to the ground and says to him forcefully, "William, time to scream like an animal and kiss until you die." They start French kissing and making out and land in the pool after rolling a few feet.

They come up and Franz sees them. He jumps in the pool and yells, "Catch me if you can, teenagers! I'm Mr. Hopper and I'm gunning my way to the pool!" Somewhere else, James Hetfield is catching a computer user download "St. Anger" and sees Franz jump in the pool. He says, "Code: Lyoko bad!" At other places, Lars Ulrich meets up with Ulrich and says to him, "You have the same name as me! Weird, ain't it, Lars?" Ulrich kicks Lars in the stomach and yells to him, "Listen, you tool! I'm tired of being called Lars all the time! Do you got that?" Lars runs away and hands Ulrich all of his solid-gold brandy glasses and shark tank bars with Smirnoff and Mr PiBB in them. Ulrich touches them and Yakov Smirnoff says to him, "In Soviet Russia…screw this! I hate my life!" Yakov, not Ulrich, shoots himself in the face and says, "TISM rules!!"

Aelita looks at William after 5 minutes of making out and says to him, "I'm glad you and I are going to be in the same country of colleges." He replies, "Yeah. I needed to meet my old dad. My new dad's an asshole." Aelita replies, "I know. I hope your old dad's cool." Soon, Herb Alpert walks to his son and says, "I thought I put you on that album cover for a reason! Well, welcome back, prisoner of XANA." William hugs him and Aelita faints.

* * *

At the bar, Franz downs another bottle of Budweiser and says to himself, "I'm going to miss my daughter. I wish Dan and Lani were here to see this in motion. They would be freaking proud of me for raising her as my own. I can't imagine when she didn't have me. Wow! She must've reacted like an autistic child writing a Code: Lyoko fanfiction watching a bad Mel Gibson movie! Well, screw that! I'm partying big time!" He gets up and starts dancing crazily while all of the other guests see him and stare at him like he's on LSD…or marijuana…or peyote…or all of the above.

Soon, two guests arrive at the door. Aelita and Franz walk to the door and open it to see a woman appearing to be about 41 with pink hair and a young adult in his 30s with red hair. Aelita says to her friend, Dan, "Welcome to the party, Dan…how did you get out of the grave?" Dan replies, "I'll tell you about that later. Now, let's party!" Dan and Lani walk in and they start partying while Franz and Aelita stare at them like they are zombies. Aelita runs to her mom and hugs her. Lani says, "Aelita, thanks for all these years. You know why we're back alive, even though we're supposed to be dead?" Aelita replies, "Why?" Lani replies, "Well, it was Waldo's invention that made us alive." Aelita replies, "Who in the hell's Waldo?" Lani replies, "Don't use that language." Aelita smiles and says to you, "That's my mom." A drum beat is heard.

Well, Lani accidentally amplified herself and Dan to the intercom, causing everybody, including the Blown Away Guy to be blown away and walk towards the dead friends of Aelita. They clamor around the couple, but then, in an instant, the door rings. Odd walks to it and opens the door. He sees a Secret Service man with curly hair and tattoos all over his body and a former maintenance man at Kadics. Odd says to them, "Who are y'all?"

* * *

THE END (a Cliffhanger Production) 


End file.
